Same sex couple with teenager looking to move to WNY countryside (New York: home, buy)
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What a myth that areas considered "conservative" are not tolerant of people that are different. I live in one of the more remote areas of Catt. county, it's major hunting and fishing country which of course means we're all right-wing fanatics and hate everyone that's not just like us eh? Right down the street from me is a general store run by a couple gals living one of those lifestyles we supposedly can't tolerate, and they're somehow doing well.
People for the most part, anywhere, will accept you based on the type of person you are, what kind of neighbor you are, etc. It may take more time for some people than others. In areas like Ithaca, considered "liberal", you may just get patronized more than anything. Please don't rule out an area based on sitcom stereotypes.
I realize you said Western New York but for a largely Liberal large village/small city, the ONE TOWN that STANDS OUT for your situation IS Ithaca! Cornell University is located there and when in session I believe that the students make up half the population of Ithaca. There is an "openly gay community" to associate with & nightlife & gay group, etc. I don't think that you would feel that you have to "hide" living there. Please do an extensive internet search on gay Ithaca & Ithaca for answers. Real estate tends to be more expensive at Ithaca than other areas of Central & Southern Tier NY State. There is nice rural or country acreage in surrounding counties. You can do an internet search for realtors serving the region and many of them will have properties listed on the internet for you to consider.
If you have any other question that I could try to answer for you, just ask.
If you choose the Ithaca area as your new home, I think you would like/enjoy the atmosphere there. Ithaca is close to Metro Syracuse and Metro Binghamton when you want to visit a larger city. You can do an internet search on those 2 cities for information. Also see city forums on this site for both Syracuse & Binghamton. Rochester also has a large gay community and is accepted there.
Life is short in the scheme of world existance (billions of years) and everyone should be free to live a decent, upstanding, happy, constructive life free of harassment from others who might want to DICTATE how someone else should live. So, I for one wish your family a happy life.
Be advised about the considerable/heavy snowfall which falls inland eastward off Lake Erie all winter long; just one factor for you to consider. The snow can be almost overwhelming, certainly mobility/travel limiting, and sometimes seems never ending; other people may object to me saying that but I want you to be aware of the heavy snow before you make permanent decisions. A friend has told me, "I have to dig out the driveway when I want to leave home and I have to dig out the driveway when I want to return home". Use caution and good judgement in making your final decisions.
Best of luck to your family. I am happy to welcome your family to upstate New York State no matter where you decide to reside.
Should you decide to relocate to the Ithaca area, I think you should definitely enroll and have your daughter attend the Ithaca School District rather than one of the surrounding more rural school districts. Since Ithaca is liberal and there is an active gay community, there must be other gay parents who have children attending Ithaca schools. Check with the Ithaca gay community center & activists for info on this subject. I don't have any definite info on that subject.
If living in Ithaca you wanted to travel to Western New York, all you'd have to do is drive south of Ithaca to Horseheads village, get on expressway Interstate 86 and drive all the way to Cattaraugus & Chautauqua counties and north to Buffalo. If living in Ithaca and you wanted to visit Rochester, all you'd have to do is take either Route 89 or Route 96 north out of Ithaca to the Seneca Falls/Waterloo area, get on expressway Interstate 90 and drive to Rochester. The other route to Rochester would be, take expressway Interstate 86 from Horseheads westward to the Bath/Avoca area and then take expressway Interstate 390 to Rochester.
These are the only additional ideas I've thought of to pass on to you at this time.
Hey gang,
The OP is looking for rural areas in S. Tier Western NY, not Central / Finger Lakes, I believe. She stated her dad lives in/around Little Valley and she was looking for feedback on any tolerant towns near there, based on her lifestyle. Ithaca is cool but probably well outside of the geographic area she was looking for.
By the way, I couldn't agree more Krisps (on your last post) - great points my friend. Way too many people seem to have an incorrect preconceived notion about the area and the people there.
BEST PLACE TO LIVE; be accepted/happy/involved/satified-not just exist
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigD_JT_14221
Hey gang,
The OP is looking for rural areas in S. Tier Western NY, not Central / Finger Lakes, I believe. She stated her dad lives in/around Little Valley and she was looking for feedback on any tolerant towns near there, based on her lifestyle. Ithaca is cool but probably well outside of the geographic area she was looking for.
By the way, I couldn't agree more Krisps (on your last post) - great points my friend. Way too many people seem to have an incorrect preconceived notion about the area and the people there.
Those of us who may have suggested a different location than what Katie had mentioned for her family's relocation are only giving her our best advice based on our knowledge about the areas we suggested to her. I'd rather have all the information available that I can get before making such a major decision instead of having inadequate or just HOPE that everything would work out. I told Katie that in my opinion, Ithaca would be the best place for her family to live and be happiest. If I thought the best area was Cooperstown or Lake Placid or Canandaigua, I would have told her that. This is not some sort of competition or contest or game where there is some sort of definite rules or where someone can't contribute different information/advice than what was originally asked; nor where alternative information is forbidden. Lots of full/informed knowledge is better than scant or naive HOPE that something will work out. Just because Katie grew up in the Little Valley area doesn't mean she has to absolutely relocate there. Even her father has told her that she may not be welcome by people living there or just experience feigned/fake acceptance. I would rather see Katie, her partner & her daughter experience GENUINE acceptance/involvement/happiness wherever they may live than fraudulent/sham/deceptive "acceptance".
Some people can be nasty, cruel, gossipy, insensitive, uncaring, intolerant, intimidating, ignorant bigots/oafs/nitwits. Katie's daughter & Katie & her partner should not have to experience that treatment. So, let Katie & her family receive ALL the information she can find so she can make the best decision for >THEM< not us.
Katie living in Ithaca does not preclude her visiting her father in Little Valley, its not that long a distance away to drive. I grew up in one part of NYS but am happier living where I do now which is two hours drive away from my parents/family original home & town. If I had to live where I grew up, I definitely would not be as happy as I am now.
EVERYONE, lets give Katie all the informed knowledge/advice we can offer her.
Last edited by Telitlkitis; 08-12-2010 at 01:47 PM..
As Telit has shown in several posts, "liberal" may indicate a tolerance for your same-sex lifestyle, but different opinions are certainly not tolerated. I'd bet that everyone's political beliefs are pretty much identical in a place like Ithaca, as though they are programmed. Out here in the sticks of WNY, people are for the most part independently minded. We might not have superficial diversity (a word I've grown to hate) that for some reason places like Ithaca desperately seek, but we do have, more importantly, diversity of thought.
As Telit has shown in several posts, "liberal" may indicate a tolerance for your same-sex lifestyle, but different opinions are certainly not tolerated. I'd bet that everyone's political beliefs are pretty much identical in a place like Ithaca, as though they are programmed. Out here in the sticks of WNY, people are for the most part independently minded. We might not have superficial diversity (a word I've grown to hate) that for some reason places like Ithaca desperately seek, but we do have, more importantly, diversity of thought.
I don't know if the diversity is superficial in Ithaca, as much as people have to identify what the "diversity" entails and to not come off as fake about it. It was an Underground Railroad town and Cornell University's original mission was to educate any and everyone that wanted to do so there. It does have cultural/ethnic/racial diversity that is rare for most cities of it's size. Just outside of that city, the attitude is more moderate/conservative. So, there is some balance in that area. You can find hunters and such in that immediate rural areas too.
I agree ck, it's very Liberal. Just look at a county map that shows the breakdown of the 2008 election, most smaller counties in NY are actually very socially Conservative. I was looking at this just a couple of weeks ago. Except for along the VT border, downstate, and big cities, NY is a lot more Conservative than people think. The small towns here are no less Conservative than the average small town in the South. It's not like the west coast where even some smaller coastal towns are very Liberal, that's why I like NY. If you don't like the city or Liberal politics, go out to the country for a big change.
I would really recommend going to CNN or the Washington Post and finding that map, just find the bluer areas, and you'll be fine. I don't agree with your lifestyle, but if you're going to move, you may as well make it to a place where people like me won't give you a hard time. Just being honest.
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Ithaca a good solid choice.
