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I have 2 boys and currently live downstate in Long Island. The culture in which kids grow up in Long Island is opressive. Kids are from a very young age are not allowed to be kids! They are shipped from one organized activity to another and are not allowed to do anything fun on their own, like playing hockey in the driveway with other children or just riding their bikes around the neighborhood. They are totally micromanaged every second of the day. They don't learn how to handle any responsibility and the constant indulgence makes them shallow, materialistic, helpless and dependant on their parents until they are 30. It is NOT the way I want my kids to grow up!
What I need to know is if parenting styles are more laid back in WNY? By laid back I mean that parents are there to set rules, provide guidence and discipline, but give kids some degree of responsibility and allow them to play outside unsupervised (at an appropriate age). What I don't mean is that the parents are never home and allow their kids to run loose at midnight causing havoc and getting into trouble (the opposite of the Long Island parenting model).
Is there a happy medium in WNY? What areas are best for a balanced approach to parenting? Somewhere that isn't the sterotypical micromanaging East Amherst upper middle class parent or the neglectful East Side Buffalo parent (I'm sure there are good parents in both places but I'm using stereotypes to show what I don't want)
There are all kinds of parenting styles. It will all depend on the area you decide to move into.
I as a parent am strict when it comes to respect and I control the amount of activities my child participates in.
I have a feeling that you misunderstand what I mean. What I mean is a place where neighbors talk with each other and people don't live with constant irrational mistrust and fear. Where kids can play in their yard or with the next door neighbors kids and not be looked at negatively.
A place that has a sense of community and is generally friendly to kids having a traditional childhood.
Last edited by Port North; 04-09-2011 at 05:05 PM..
I have a feeling that you misunderstand what I mean. What I mean is a place where neighbors talk with each other and people don't live with constant irrational mistrust and fear. Where kids can play in their yard or with the next door neighbors kids and not be looked at negatively.
A place that has a sense of community and is generally friendly to kids having a traditional childhood.
My neighborhood is like this & I'm sure its not the only one around here. There are always kids in my neighborhood playing, riding bikes, rollerblading, street hockey or whatever. In fact my 5 y/o old daughter was rollerblading in front of the house this afternoon & when the boy across the street saw her he went & put on his & joined her. We have a family across the street that puts up an ice rink in their back yard every winter & all the neighbors are welcome to use it. Its easily the friendliest & most welcoming neighborhood I have ever lived in.
My neighborhood is like this & I'm sure its not the only one around here. There are always kids in my neighborhood playing, riding bikes, rollerblading, street hockey or whatever. In fact my 5 y/o old daughter was rollerblading in front of the house this afternoon & when the boy across the street saw her he went & put on his & joined her. We have a family across the street that puts up an ice rink in their back yard every winter & all the neighbors are welcome to use it. Its easily the friendliest & most welcoming neighborhood I have ever lived in.
Yes, that is what I'm talking about! I really want that for my kids. I always remembered that as one of the best things about Western New York and wanted to know if it still existed. I'm glad to hear it still does.
Makes me want to rebouble my efforts to get out of this hell called Long Island! Between the traffic, high-pressure parenting, illegal aliens, outrageous taxes, sky high housing prices and nasty people I've had it!
...and I don't want to hear that taxes are too high in WNY. I pay nearly $9000 in taxes on a 1100 square foot home on .17 of an acre. My mother in Hamburg pays $4700 on a 1700 sqaure foot home on .25 acre... end of story!
When you manage to come, just remember the seller has not updated any assessments (why should they? ) Someone near where I live is selling a house they redid beautifully from the 70 year old original farmhouse -- gutted and rebuilt --, but it is not reassessed and the new owners will see taxes almost double. Plus, they are not pointing out they have a flood plain and that will cost a buyer flood insurance with a mortgage.
When you manage to come, just remember the seller has not updated any assessments (why should they? ) Someone near where I live is selling a house they redid beautifully from the 70 year old original farmhouse -- gutted and rebuilt --, but it is not reassessed and the new owners will see taxes almost double. Plus, they are not pointing out they have a flood plain and that will cost a buyer flood insurance with a mortgage.
My mother bought the house in 2006, so the assessment should be current. If I moved back I would definitely avoid Amherst and their floodplains/unstable soils.
Last edited by Port North; 04-11-2011 at 09:01 AM..
I currently live in northern westchester NY and work for NYC. I have 8 years to go before I can leave. Most of my wifes closest friends all live out in WNY. (she graduated at houghton). While I do enjoy where I live, proximity to nature, ppl friendlier here than the city, outdoors, etc. The cost to live here is pretty high.
I love when we visit out there, WNY is so beautiful, some of her friends live in the Eden area. Man, rural farm life is for me! Not far from buffalo(quick city fix).
The last time we went up there we took rt. 81 north to the cherry valley trnpk. and travelled rt 20 all the way out to them starting in Skaneateles. Such gorgeous country. After leaving Eden we pased thru hamburg and took rt 20A back thru east aurora. How I lust for that area of NY. east aurora, and the ourter areas just east of there were magnifigant . Seemingly so much to see. I truly hope or wish to move out there someday in the future when my stint with the city is over.
Hey Port,
the place I live in west seneca seems to be exactly like what you are talking about. The subdivision is less than 2 years old and there are a lot of young families in here with little kids or young teens. The kids are out riding bikes all the time together and playing basketball on the driveway, hockey on the street, or baseball in the backyards. They are frequently spending time with neighbor kids. On a nice day everyone seems to be out with babies in strollers. I am new here but most of the people seem to know each other and look out for each other's kids. There are several cops and their families who live here too. It seems very safe. Total suburbia, but very charming.
Oh and my brand new 2200 sq ft house was only 250,000.... not a bad deal really. It was a spec house so we walked in and bought it already done and it's really comfortable and has some nice upgrades like hardwood floors, high ceilings, a fireplace, and upgraded kitchen. I know that wasn't what you were specifically asking, but I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the affordability of housing IF you are comparing to areas that are not too far from major cities like NYC.
Hey Port,
the place I live in west seneca seems to be exactly like what you are talking about. The subdivision is less than 2 years old and there are a lot of young families in here with little kids or young teens. The kids are out riding bikes all the time together and playing basketball on the driveway, hockey on the street, or baseball in the backyards. They are frequently spending time with neighbor kids. On a nice day everyone seems to be out with babies in strollers. I am new here but most of the people seem to know each other and look out for each other's kids. There are several cops and their families who live here too. It seems very safe. Total suburbia, but very charming.
Oh and my brand new 2200 sq ft house was only 250,000.... not a bad deal really. It was a spec house so we walked in and bought it already done and it's really comfortable and has some nice upgrades like hardwood floors, high ceilings, a fireplace, and upgraded kitchen. I know that wasn't what you were specifically asking, but I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the affordability of housing IF you are comparing to areas that are not too far from major cities like NYC.
Thanks for sharing. Good to know that there are still sane places left. I hope to starting looking for a job in Western New York in earnest this summer.
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