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Old 08-09-2010, 10:50 AM
 
1,852 posts, read 3,794,883 times
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So the boss has basically said that I'm not showing respect to a fellow employee.

Quote from boss:
"Please show Employee X the same amount of respect as you would me"

He sent this in an email to me and the HR lady. I'm tempted to respond. Because I have no clue why he would send the email. I feel I should reply with this "I treat everyone with the same amount of respect". Because it kind of attacking my character and that's no good.

What say ye all? Let it roll off my back and say O... K... or defend myself because I don't want him to get the idea that I'm a disrespectful presence.. or whatever the case may be.

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Old 08-09-2010, 11:47 AM
 
1,403 posts, read 3,235,284 times
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He already thinks you are a "disrespectful presence" if he sent the email to you and HR.

The question is: "Is he right?"

You might want to defend yourself if you think you are right, but you could also be cutting off your nose to spite your face (if you know what I mean).

Good luck
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Old 08-09-2010, 12:12 PM
 
2,153 posts, read 5,144,544 times
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Probably would be wise to find out why he thinks you aren't showing respect to this employee.
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Old 08-09-2010, 12:14 PM
 
9,856 posts, read 13,978,441 times
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Don't respond via email.

Walk into your boss's office and talk to him face to face. Off the bad apologize. It doesn't matter if you think you are right or wrong. Apologize and then ask him what you could do to improve yourself.

The fact is that it doesn't matter what you think. You work for the guy and he reported you to HR for this. Do what you need to in order to earn his trust. Swallow your pride and assume he is right and you are wrong.
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Old 08-09-2010, 05:49 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
26,412 posts, read 44,206,063 times
Reputation: 30118
In this case I would work through the HR person and arrange first a 3 way discussion, then a 4 way, bringing the accuser to the table in a controlled environment.

No Way reply via email. EZ way to be misunderstood, or construed as such.

Your boss should have never let this 'hit-the-wire' without 1st talking with you. I find emails have a bad habit of crossing oceans and timezones in a matter of seconds THEN there is a crisis (especially 'cross culturally'). I have found crummy bosses to be the worst offenders of forwarding emails of a personal nature that should have never been brought out of your region of confidence.
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Old 08-09-2010, 06:01 PM
NSX
 
866 posts, read 1,914,674 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post
In this case I would work through the HR person and arrange first a 3 way discussion, then a 4 way, bringing the accuser to the table in a controlled environment.

No Way reply via email. EZ way to be misunderstood, or construed as such.

Your boss should have never let this 'hit-the-wire' without 1st talking with you. I find emails have a bad habit of crossing oceans and timezones in a matter of seconds THEN there is a crisis (especially 'cross culturally'). I have found crummy bosses to be the worst offenders of forwarding emails of a personal nature that should have never been brought out of your region of confidence.
Agree. If he really wanted to solve the "problem" he should have talked to you in person first. It's more common than you'd think among mean-spirited bosses to try to instigate a fight with "so-and-so said this, that and the other thing to you". Ask the boss for concrete evidence of the "disrespect". If he doesn't have any, bring the situation up with your boss's boss.
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Old 08-09-2010, 06:40 PM
 
Location: Kalamalka Lake, B.C.
3,073 posts, read 4,338,186 times
Reputation: 3994
Not only do I agree with all of the above emails, his forwarding to HR is for himself (making it look like he's doing his job). Ask yourself this: does this boss have any other tools in his management skills? Or is this as good as he gets?

The word "disrespect" is a DESCRIPTIVE ADJECTIVE. It describes something: i.e. what you did. What did you do? Make someone do their job? So we're back to elementary school: where's the DIRECT OBJECT in all of this. Otherwise, your boss and the complainant are just team players in character assassination.

To repeat the above commentator: His "mandate of management" would have been to talk to you first.
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Old 08-10-2010, 04:06 AM
 
Location: North Texas
24,571 posts, read 35,221,642 times
Reputation: 28456
Quote:
Originally Posted by thedwightguy View Post
Not only do I agree with all of the above emails, his forwarding to HR is for himself (making it look like he's doing his job). Ask yourself this: does this boss have any other tools in his management skills? Or is this as good as he gets?

The word "disrespect" is a DESCRIPTIVE ADJECTIVE. It describes something: i.e. what you did. What did you do? Make someone do their job? So we're back to elementary school: where's the DIRECT OBJECT in all of this. Otherwise, your boss and the complainant are just team players in character assassination.

To repeat the above commentator: His "mandate of management" would have been to talk to you first.
I agree with this, but on the other hand you can't pay your bills with principles.

To the OP: suck it up, talk to the boss about how you can improve your relations with your colleagues...even if you disagree with his assessment, he could still be right...and if you are really miserable, quietly start looking for another position. Do not jump until you have a net.

Do what you have to do to keep your job.
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Old 08-12-2010, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Columbia, California
6,664 posts, read 27,651,396 times
Reputation: 5124
Quote:
Originally Posted by recuerdeme View Post
So the boss has basically said that I'm not showing respect to a fellow employee.

Quote from boss:
"Please show Employee X the same amount of respect as you would me"

He sent this in an email to me and the HR lady. I'm tempted to respond. Because I have no clue why he would send the email. I feel I should reply with this "I treat everyone with the same amount of respect". Because it kind of attacking my character and that's no good.

What say ye all? Let it roll off my back and say O... K... or defend myself because I don't want him to get the idea that I'm a disrespectful presence.. or whatever the case may be.

Go ahead and post the whole email here for us, we can respond for you.

I would seriously not even bring such up on forums. Employers often search with your email address and see what employees are saying.
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Old 08-14-2010, 02:52 PM
 
Location: Apple Valley Calif
7,474 posts, read 21,053,836 times
Reputation: 5634
His CCing the note to HR is also an official written notice. One or two more, depending you your company's policy, and you will be moving on down the hi way...!
As suggested, I would talk to him and find out more details, but if you want your job, swallow your pride and kiss some butt.. Jobs are hard to come by these days...
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