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I think everyone has given some great ideas, however they've taken the guidance nurturing route, so I'll take the other kick in the ass POV.
First, you must realize this. Your successful. You've proven it twice already. Both time you've made some mistakes, but you've learned from them. And if you haven't, then you need to go find a paycheck from someone who has, and is doing their thing.
Second, self pity and a realization of "damn this sucks, and why me" while it has it's uses and is a healthy part of self actualization can lead to a self defeating attitude. You've got punched in the face, and then in the 'nads. It hurts. It sucks. Now get mad. Get busy. Life will keep kicking you if you stay down. The only way you can fight back is to first get up. You've done it before you can do it again. Sitting here on a board asking for someone to help is not gonna get it done. It's not even going to start to address the issue.
Third, you have to get your a** off the couch. Get up. Get moving. Make small goals to start as someone else said. But make a bigger goal as well. If you just take small steps, w/out knowing where you want to go, you can go in circles. Don't be specific, be general. I'm going to succeed today. If not today then I WILL make it tomorrow. Life isn't going to hand you anything. If you want it you have to be willing to go out and either make it or take it. Make your own way, or take the crap shoveled down your throat by someone else who is. But either way, you've got to do it.
I know this is from a movie, but my buddies and I use clips to help keep us motivated sometimes, so I'll do the same for you. Again, not trying to be mean or flippant, just trying to help w/ a little kick in the ass. Take it for what it's worth...or not.
Quote:
...the world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!
Steve Pavlina has a ton of articles (usually in-depth and long, so be prepared) on "Personal Development", but his focus is quite broad and covers scheduling, motivation, diet, creating new paradigms, the nature of success...
First, much in your life has changed. Consider if this has changed your goals. Sometimes we think *this* is what we want, unconditionally, until life gets in the way. Unless your sure you want something now, look at lots of options. Since you've been burned by partners, it will be hard for you to do that over again. But look at all the options you have, not in the future, but now. Perhaps find something that brings in enough and gives you personal rewards. If your motivation is lacking perhaps there is a reason.
Whatever you do, don't look at the horizon. Look at tomorrow. Look at the end of the day. Set a daily goal. And a weekly one. Don't push it beyond what is reasonable so you succeed. And reward yourself when you do it. This will help you build your confidence. And if you find that your goal is met but there is no reward in the doing consider why. Just don't assume that since way back when it was something you enjoyed that you still do.
Determine your reward before you start. Make it simple and something that you really enjoy. And at the end of the day keep a journal. Write down your accomplishments, but also the things you have discovered. Maybe some of them are totally unplanned but allow yourself to be joyful in the discovery.
Its all little steps but when you are depressed or unmotivated by the big unobtainable idea you will find that as a human being little steps are manageable and in your control. Confidence comes from the build up of small successes and reaching small goals. Big ones will shut you down if thats all you have since they are not something of now.
And while you are working on building for tomorrow don't every forget that you need to appreciate today. It is what you have. The other is what you dream. A good conversation, an awesome sunset, a satisfying movie or book, a perfect smile, these matter too. If you go to bed having had no joy at all that day, you haven't tried.
I have a friend with wonderful ideas but he'll never get anywhere with them. Its all or nothing. If it won't take him all the way its not acceptable. Life isn't like that. We remember the past and we dream of the future but we *live* in the now. Make the now better and it will help make the dreams come true.
I know how you feel, because I've been there. I ended up never going back because it turned out that it wasn't what worked for me anymore, once I was done rediscovering myself. Everything that happens to you changes things and we should never assume we can go back to the same place where we were before.
I love people living in Oklahoma......wow. Love you input!! SO Humble!
Tx golfer....that was inspirational. Plus considering the fact that Jordan "the businessman" failed over and over again, before he finally broke through.
I dont know.....I have always been optimistic and motivated as far as making business for myself. I blame that entirely on the fact that I came from nothing and pleasure came merely off the idea that I can build something just because i could.
When we were all young, all of us had that something we wanted to impress our parents/guardians/peers with by acheiving something that they thought we couldn't. Whether it was because they thought we werent smart enough or big enough, we had to show them that we had what it takes to overcome that obstacle. That was sucesss and it was enough. No money was involved, no reward, no award.....just pure self satisfaction that we could do it. Well, I personally havent lost "that feeling", and thats how I approach business.
Im a born and raised resident of Louisiana. Everyone knows the weak stats and weak ranks in Louisiana but, yet and still for a state of its size & bad reps, our population still remains the same because people here are content. Ive learn to be content with very little, anything above that I want someone esle to have it. That helps me control myself when it come to business so I wont ever get to ahead of myself. I simply need enough. If I need more, I simply only get the more I need. Efficient living is my game, then afterwards I will empower others to do the same; in which will always give me a purpose in this business world. Thus, I am always motivated and inspired.
I have a realistic life goal in business and in life.....to impact. Everything I do businesswise will fall simply in the categories of providing sparks, inspiring others, and promoting influence. I understand in business you can get full of yourself and try to play king giving you the urge to conquer, conquer, and conquer. Stay humble, stay efficient, and help others................thats real wealth and success.
Well moving from NH to FL.. Change should help. I do exercise 3 times a week. I can see how being more outgoing can give you fresh ideas. Being stuck in the same house means you are not going to experience anything new and the old ideas will just stick around.
I started an ebay company back in 1998 after college by accident and that was my full time job for 18 months. Talk about limiting. The only people I knew were people behind the counter at the post office. Stuck behind the computer all day and night and spending the rest of the time managing inventory in the walk in closet and boxing up goods, there is only so much you can take.
I don't know what it is but getting out of the house does wonders.
I am a highly motivated individual with tons of drive. However, these life setbacks are haunting me and I am having trouble getting going again. Mental block for ideas or the ability to recognize the next big thing for me to do. I am ready to drive somewhere, but I am lacking the vehicle/idea.
Currently working from home with a family, so in reality I do not get out much.
I know this is a bit vague, but what can I do? How can someone whom is intelligent with drive and ambition get back on the horse? Is a there a web site/forum that deals with goal setting?
Thank you for your thoughts....
Probably you are driving things too much rather than going with the flow and letting them happen and finding a path that you want to take, not doing things just because you think you should. And when you do that you have a lot wrapped up in defining who you are by "success" as other people perceive it, not yourself.
I think the best thing to do is make a list of what you like to do and then make it your job. That's what I did and if I can do it, you can too.
I used to work in marketing and was a high earner in the north east. I worked my butt off and it showed - with raises, promotions and all that stuff. I was moving up on the wealth scale and very materialistic.
Then I was laid off, not once but twice. First, just after 9/11 in NYC. Then right before this latest recession in 2008.
I no longer have the drive I used to. I feel personally betrayed by these companies and kicked in the ass. Even though I am bright, motivated and KNOW I could go out and get another excellent job I just don't want to. So, I started my own business in 2008. I am doing OK, making maybe 60-70K this year, which is really low compared with what I'm used to. Even though I should be happy and proud of my achievements it somehow doesn't feel "real" unless I'm working 24/7 at some mega-Forbes 100 firm. Plus, it's isolating. I didn't realize before how all my "friends" were work-related/from the office.
Anyway, I have no help for you because I feel in similar rut myself. I think we both need to change our perspectives and re-evaluate what's important or something like that...
So, I started my own business in 2008. I am doing OK, making maybe 60-70K this year, which is really low compared with what I'm used to. Even though I should be happy and proud of my achievements it somehow doesn't feel "real" unless I'm working 24/7 at some mega-Forbes 100 firm. Plus, it's isolating. I didn't realize before how all my "friends" were work-related/from the office.
What is stopping you from making more money? Are there ways to grow your business? Can you generate any income from another side business...
I think the greatest feeling would be to say, "How you like me now!?" to those companies that "betrayed" you.
What is stopping you from making more money? Are there ways to grow your business? Can you generate any income from another side business...
I think the greatest feeling would be to say, "How you like me now!?" to those companies that "betrayed" you.
Volk2k,
You're right. I should be thrilled I'm doing this and just keep motivated to kick ass and make even more $$
Thanks!
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