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Old 03-30-2013, 11:47 AM
 
14,921 posts, read 18,705,356 times
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I think you are asking/wondering, "Why are men not attracted to me?".

Well, almost all women wonder that.

You're no different.

Last edited by srjth; 03-30-2013 at 12:01 PM..
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Old 03-30-2013, 12:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by *Sixy* View Post
So according to you administraive assistants, social workers, nurses, teachers and writers have no ambition?

Maybe your superior attitude is what they find unattractive
I agree as well. It's how one carries him/herself. No matter how rich, how successful, how beautiful a person is, if their attitude stinks. No one wants to be around it. It has little to do with envy or jealousy. Their attitude and the way they carry themselves will determine if people find them attractive or not. Success, Wealth, and Looks will only go so far.
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Old 03-30-2013, 12:05 PM
 
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Your comment about cocktail waitressing should be a clue to you. You simply had more access to more men when you did that and it was okay for them to come onto you in that atmosphere. Being accessible and open and around men who think it's okay to come onto you is half the battle.
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Old 03-30-2013, 12:11 PM
 
19,236 posts, read 25,419,002 times
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Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Your comment about cocktail waitressing should be a clue to you. You simply had more access to more men when you did that and it was okay for them to come onto you in that atmosphere. Being accessible and open and around men who think it's okay to come onto you is half the battle.
this is good advice
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Old 03-30-2013, 12:25 PM
 
Location: Gotham
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Originally Posted by calnbs View Post
I agree as well. It's how one carries him/herself. No matter how rich, how successful, how beautiful a person is, if their attitude stinks. No one wants to be around it. It has little to do with envy or jealousy. Their attitude and the way they carry themselves will determine if people find them attractive or not. Success, Wealth, and Looks will only go so far.
Some people will never realize this unfortunately.
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Old 03-30-2013, 12:37 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
86,481 posts, read 79,604,121 times
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Originally Posted by Micio View Post

But from the group of people I know,
Key words: "the group of people I know". Your circle can't be too wide, at this point in your life. Plenty of female financial analysts, stock brokers, lawyers, and CEO's are happily married. To be career-driven doesn't mean cold and calculating, boring, domineering. The women I've come across in those professions are wonderful people; funny, quirky, down to earth, personable. What's not to like?
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Old 03-30-2013, 12:50 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Your comment about cocktail waitressing should be a clue to you. You simply had more access to more men when you did that and it was okay for them to come onto you in that atmosphere. Being accessible and open and around men who think it's okay to come onto you is half the battle.
I think this is an interesting angle. I think far more men will be willing to come onto a cocktail waitress because it's far more likely she's 'lower' in the social ladder than he is. I've found most men don't want a woman that is too much work to 'get' nor do they want a woman who will overshadow him when it comes to success in one's given career.

It's the same with a nurse or a school teacher. I'm absolutely not saying those careers are full of people who lack ambition and that they're not important, don't get me wrong... but they're seen as traditionally feminine careers and I think men are drawn to women whose job is to care for others. It makes sense that high powered men would be drawn to women like that.
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Old 03-30-2013, 01:00 PM
 
19,059 posts, read 22,861,322 times
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Originally Posted by Micio View Post
Right, I'm 22 and bitter already?

No, I'm just stating the facts. I look exactly the same as when I was a cocktail waitress. When I was cocktailing I used to have to swat guys off of me both out of work and at work (customers).

Now, I have worked in an office for almost a year and both in and out of work only unattractive men hit on me, flirt with me, etc. Hot guys check me out when I'm around the building (the building is home to probably 20+ other companies) but thats the extent of it.

I don't look down on social workers or teachers. Some of the best people I know work those jobs but they are typically not Type A's.
When you were cocktailing you were getting people drunk. Of course those people would be more likely to hit on you. It would be inappropriate to do so in the workplace. The workplace is not a frat house.
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Old 03-30-2013, 01:02 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
86,481 posts, read 79,604,121 times
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Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
I think this is an interesting angle. I think far more men will be willing to come onto a cocktail waitress because it's far more likely she's 'lower' in the social ladder than he is. I've found most men don't want a woman that is too much work to 'get' nor do they want a woman who will overshadow him when it comes to success in one's given career.
You're right, this IS an interesting question. I think men come on to waitresses simply because they can. As we've discussed in the "the cashier said 'have a nice day', does it mean she likes me?" threads, people come onto service personnel (subconsciously) because they're a captive audience to the come-ons, and they're paid to respond pleasantly. But are those the women the high-powered guys want to marry? In most cases, probably not. We notice the cases in which the senator marries his staff person because they're sensationalistic, but we don't notice all the quietly, happily-married couples who are professional equals, because it's pretty mundane, and they don't stand out.
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Old 03-30-2013, 01:08 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
86,481 posts, read 79,604,121 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Micio View Post
Right, I'm 22 and bitter already?

No, I'm just stating the facts. I look exactly the same as when I was a cocktail waitress. When I was cocktailing I used to have to swat guys off of me both out of work and at work (customers).

Now, I have worked in an office for almost a year and both in and out of work only unattractive men hit on me, flirt with me, etc. Hot guys check me out when I'm around the building (the building is home to probably 20+ other companies) but thats the extent of it.
This is interesting. You're saying that when you are/were outside of the work context, on your days off, men somehow knew what your profession was, and zeroed in on you (or avoided) based on whether you were a cocktail waitress or a corporate type at work, even though they'd never seen you at work and didn't know where and in what sector you were employed. You're saying guys had some kind of clairvoyance regarding what your profession was, even when seeing you for the first time on your time off, when you were in leisure wear: jeans, or whatever.

How do you explain that?
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