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Old 03-30-2013, 10:04 PM
 
25,739 posts, read 26,923,330 times
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I can't believe this would even still be a question as it is no longer 1979. So many women work that the whole "Working Girl" or "Tootsie" (sans the cross-dressing) bit doesn't have to happen any more in order for us to be "accepted" into the working world. Of course working women are seen as sexy, the majority of us do work. This news is 30 years old.
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Old 03-31-2013, 06:43 AM
 
5,348 posts, read 6,349,993 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Not true.

I've been turned down for my career when I worked as a mechanic. One of my best girlfriends is a union welder and she's been turned down for hers as well. Many men won't date a woman in a traditionally male career.
How do you know you were turned down for that specifically though?

There's tons of female engineers,doctors, ceo's, lawyers, architects (insert any other "male" career here) who have successful happy dating lives
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Old 03-31-2013, 09:14 AM
 
Location: Chicagoland
5,722 posts, read 9,141,243 times
Reputation: 6916
Quote:
Originally Posted by Micio View Post
I'm about to graduate from college and extremely career driven. I don't care if I have to work 60 hours a week to be the best at what I do. I'm a true "type A" personality.

Type A is defined as : highly independent, take charge, decisive, direct, business-like, ambitious, efficient, motivated, persistent, focused, risk taking, practical solution oriented, dislike routine, high achieving, no-nonsense, multitasking, deadline driven and change oriented.

I'm also only attracted to men similar to me. I respect intelligent and savvy men. I'm generally attracted to type A men and men who even exhibit neurosis such as being high strung or a perfectionist.

But from the group of people I know, it seems like most of these men end up with women who have no ambition whatsoever and I wonder if they're attracted to that. They end up with administrative assistants, rich daddies girls who live off trust funds, social workers, nurses, teachers, ex-models, writers, women who went to college but never had careers, etc.

Are professional women in the corporate world not seen as feminine of sexy? In my free time, I dress very feminine and cocktail waitressed for 4 years while in college. When I was cocktailing, I felt like every type of man was attracted to me.

Now, working in a corporate firm doing serious work, I feel like a ghost. Is being a corporate worker and a driven woman unattractive and unfeminine?
I am also Type-A and married another Type-A. We met as corporate sales engineers in our 20's and now own the company. I am attracted to the energetic, doers, leaders, goal-oriented people of the world, like myself, which is typical Type-A. We fit every trait you listed (both are also first-born children), however, I do not associate "neurosis, high-strung, perfectionist" with Type-A. E.g. My hubby and I work very hard but we are not perfectionist or neurotic. We are often the opposite - calm, logical, big picture people who do not sweat the small details (not perfectionistic) as that can be irrelevant and slow one down from achieving bigger goals.

I find that you are incorrectly labeling people. E.g. My mother, an award winning teacher, is very Type-A. My close friend, a nurse, is also an extreme Type-A. I can also think of plenty of people in the business fields you mentioned (e.g. accounting/finance) who are Type-B. It's not just a business-degree or corporate title that makes one a Type-A, it is a mindset. It is not so easy to categorize people based on major/job title as you may think.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernRXMan View Post
The real successful women never forget they are feminine no matter how much the alpha male tries to beats them down.
Very true.... IMO strong leverage comes from knowledge, competency, and the embracing of feminine powers rather than trying to compete by acting as a man (they will usually be better at being men!). I am the rare feminine female in a field of alpha males. I will not compete on masculinity when I have other unique, "feminine" strengths. I am pretty good at reigning in the alpha males this way, and they do not try to beat me down.

The only downside is that when one competes as a feminine in a male-dominated field, there will invariably be men who try to pursue you for non-professional purposes and these relationship boundaries need to be properly communicated/managed. BTW, I am not referring to competing on looks, sexiness, etc. One may still be very professional, feminine, while utilizing strong intuition, interpersonal, and strategizing skills.

Last edited by GoCUBS1; 03-31-2013 at 09:24 AM..
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Old 03-31-2013, 09:58 AM
LLN
 
Location: Upstairs closet
5,154 posts, read 9,280,288 times
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I think the sexual harassment deal has pretty made the workplace off limits.

All a women has to say is "he said" and the guys career is ruined. Seen it first hand, and I stood up for my guy, and my career would have been ruined, too, if I was not already moving on.

Additionally, there is a fine line between Type A and *****, or the male equivalent. The talented Type A will go far if he or she has some empathy and leadership skills and is not too full of him/herself. Lots of folks hide behind Type A and they are really just A-holes. Seen it a million times.

Good Luck.
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Old 03-31-2013, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,116 posts, read 27,829,309 times
Reputation: 16296
Quote:
Originally Posted by BradPiff View Post
How do you know you were turned down for that specifically though?

There's tons of female engineers,doctors, ceo's, lawyers, architects (insert any other "male" career here) who have successful happy dating lives

Because they said 'I could never be with a woman mechanic.'

But maybe it was something else.

I have no doubts those women have successful, happy dating lives. I know a few woman mechanics who are currently married or in relationships, and most of them have also been rejected specifically for their careers in the past. It's something we can jokingly bond over.
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Old 03-31-2013, 06:38 PM
 
119 posts, read 217,966 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
What about my post do you find interesting, and do you have any comments on it? Let's leave my gender out of this for the time being, and get back to the topic (which is a good one).

Because so far, most of the men in this thread said it is not unattractive and almost all of the women in this thread said it is unattractive in a rude tone. I don't care about women who think I'm unattractive because I have my **** together, I care about what men think and other women who are in similar fields.
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Old 03-31-2013, 06:47 PM
 
15,724 posts, read 19,074,966 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Micio View Post
Because so far, most of the men in this thread said it is not unattractive and almost all of the women in this thread said it is unattractive in a rude tone. I don't care about women who think I'm unattractive because I have my **** together, I care about what men think and other women who are in similar fields.
Your OP and initial "better than thou" attitude brought that on. You insulted a large percentage of women here with this little snippet:

"it seems like most of these men end up with women who have no ambition whatsoever and I wonder if they're attracted to that. They end up with administrative assistants, rich daddies girls who live off trust funds, social workers, nurses, teachers, ex-models, writers, women who went to college but never had careers, etc."

I'm a teacher. My husband is an corporate executive. He didn't "end up with" me. He chose me as his partner (and I chose him). I wasn't some second class left-over as you seem to imply.
I also don't lack ambition simply because I'm a teacher.

Can you not see that you alienated a few folks with your initial post? You initiated the "rude tone"...what did you expect in return?
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Old 03-31-2013, 06:54 PM
 
119 posts, read 217,966 times
Reputation: 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Sixy* View Post
Your OP and initial "better than thou" attitude brought that on. You insulted a large percentage of women here with this little snippet:

"it seems like most of these men end up with women who have no ambition whatsoever and I wonder if they're attracted to that. They end up with administrative assistants, rich daddies girls who live off trust funds, social workers, nurses, teachers, ex-models, writers, women who went to college but never had careers, etc."

I'm a teacher. My husband is an corporate executive. He didn't "end up with" me. He chose me as his partner (and I chose him). I wasn't some second class left-over as you seem to imply.
I also don't lack ambition simply because I'm a teacher.

Can you not see that you alienated a few folks with your initial post? You initiated the "rude tone"...what did you expect in return?

Clearly, you didn't read one of my three posts where I said I worded that poorly and I in no way, shape, or form think people with those jobs lack ambition. What I meant is they are generally not Type A personalities like myself and others who prefer to work in business.


And lets be honest here, is a 26 year old secretary in 2012 as ambitious as a 26 year old lawyer in 2012?

A lot of women 40+ have made careers out of being secretaries but I don't see any women of my generation doing that unless they really don't give a crap. Most of the secretaries I know who are under the age of 40 just did it through college.
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Old 03-31-2013, 06:56 PM
 
Location: So Cal
43,935 posts, read 43,008,327 times
Reputation: 45055
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Sixy* View Post
Your OP and initial "better than thou" attitude brought that on. You insulted a large percentage of women here with this little snippet:

"it seems like most of these men end up with women who have no ambition whatsoever and I wonder if they're attracted to that. They end up with administrative assistants, rich daddies girls who live off trust funds, social workers, nurses, teachers, ex-models, writers, women who went to college but never had careers, etc."

I'm a teacher. My husband is an corporate executive. He didn't "end up with" me. He chose me as his partner (and I chose him). I wasn't some second class left-over as you seem to imply.
I also don't lack ambition simply because I'm a teacher.

Can you not see that you alienated a few folks with your initial post? You initiated the "rude tone"...what did you expect in return?
I agree... completely...

The initial post pretty much grossed me out......

Dripping with ego and a superior attitude.......perhaps that comes across in real life too.... might send a lot of men running.... It sure as shyt would send me on my way......


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Old 03-31-2013, 07:06 PM
 
15,724 posts, read 19,074,966 times
Reputation: 12795
Quote:
Originally Posted by Micio View Post
Clearly, you didn't read one of my three posts where I said I worded that poorly and I in no way, shape, or form think people with those jobs lack ambition. What I meant is they are generally not Type A personalities like myself and others who prefer to work in business.


And lets be honest here, is a 26 year old secretary in 2012 as ambitious as a 26 year old lawyer in 2012?

A lot of women 40+ have made careers out of being secretaries but I don't see any women of my generation doing that unless they really don't give a crap. Most of the secretaries I know who are under the age of 40 just did it through college.
Your snob is showing again.

My mother was a "secretary" to a county commisioner (these days they are called Executive Assistants). She used to bust her ass for the department she worked in, changing the way they handled all their business. She did not lack ambition at all.

My husband's EA is also quite ambitious. Do you have any idea of the job responsibilities? They don't just get coffee anymore. They do EVERYTHING behind the scenes and make the people they work for look great. My husband never takes her for granted and would NEVER look down on her like some second-rate professional the way you have just done.
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