Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It wasn't effective having children raised by their mothers while their fathers supported the family? Children need their mothers, the workforce doesn't need mothers. And no society needs feminism.
That is what you think but obviously things changed, society changed because there was a need for change. That status quo might have been good for some family and some children but it was not good for everyone in the equation. We should learn from our past, not try to re-live it
Yes they're are; ironically, all created by men.You might, excepting the fact that the entire family court system(also created by men) has been arranged to benefit you. That is, you'll be entitled to half of everything your husband has earned before he divorced you(for whatever reason), and half of everything he earns in the future. And it's virtually automatic you'll be given custody of your shared children unless you're a drug addict. Is that sponging?HALF of the intelligence? LOL. Maybe a fifth. Maybe. Women better contribute to the world by supporting their husbands/children, encouraging them, and building a more comfortable home life for them. Women can do well in support roles as nurses, secretaries, etc. but shouldn't be placed in leadership positions, especially over men.
But maybe I just need to watch some old Oprah or Sally shows and get edjewcated...
Well, you certainly need to do SOMETHING...edited to add that it's wonderful you realized this.
The "husband's earnings" is the family's earnings. A marriage is set up as a unit, no one can sponge off another, they are one. Goes the same way if the wife brings in the money. You can't really have your own money unless you hide it well, and then why even be married.
In some archaic and innately dysfunctional sorts of marriages, the male asserts his pathetic manliness by seeking to control family income from whatever source derived. Wifey effectively has an allowance from hubbie who can reduce or eliminate it if she isn't sufficiently good to him. Makes me want to puke.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane
There is no need to make women feel guilty for however they set up their lives with their family. A woman should not have to hear about being a loss to the world if she makes a personal choice that works for her and her family. This is what feminists did in the 60s and 70s, guilted women into doing what they wanted them to do - have it all, do it all, well women are exhausted and frustrated.
That's quite the distortion. The women's movement was and still is about empowering women to do what they want to do, rather than slavishly following some rote path set out before them. For those women with ambitions outside the home, access to higher education had to be won first, and after that, it was the typing pool and the glass ceiling that had to go.
Just like men, some women may come to regret the choices they make in their lives, but they at least had the chance to make them. That chance had to be fought for. It didn't come in a cereal box.
In some archaic and innately dysfunctional sorts of marriages, the male asserts his pathetic manliness by seeking to control family income from whatever source derived. Wifey effectively has an allowance from hubbie who can reduce or eliminate it if she isn't sufficiently good to him. Makes me want to puke.
.
In such a case if the wife files for divorce the husband would find out quickly his money is their money. There are many ways a marriage can be dysfunctional and wives can be just as controlling.
There is still no reason to bully women into believing they need to work should they want to stay home to raise their children. Some husbands are actually adults who respect their wives, want a happy marriage and family and would not dream of jeopardizing that.
I would not be surprised to see more younger women choose to stay home and raise kids. It doesn't take the choice away from those who want to work and opens up more jobs for people who really need it. In my area home buyers want to downscale and are demanding smaller, cheaper homes for new construction. Maybe if expenses were not so high families could afford to live on one income, and would make that choice, as much as that would upset certain groups.
I can't decide whether I find it humorous or terrifying that so many people believe the court system is so cut and dry when it comes to divorce. I've seen FAR too many educated, stay-at-home-moms of multiple kids get swindled in divorces where the husband secretly funnels most of his cash to protected places, manages to convince a male judge he should get custody (never-mind the fact that he's never taken care of the kids a day in his life), and then proceeds to saddle his poor ex with tremendous debt (that they get to "split") from him racking up credit cards taking the mistress on vacations.
I can't decide whether I find it humorous or terrifying that so many people believe the court system is so cut and dry when it comes to divorce. I've seen FAR too many educated, stay-at-home-moms of multiple kids get swindled in divorces where the husband secretly funnels most of his cash to protected places, manages to convince a male judge he should get custody (never-mind the fact that he's never taken care of the kids a day in his life), and then proceeds to saddle his poor ex with tremendous debt (that they get to "split") from him racking up credit cards taking the mistress on vacations.
If the husband funnels the cash to keep it fro. Being contested in divorce process it doesn't change the judgement of the court system still ruled favoring the wife . It just means the husband is cheating his way out of the court ruling.
The vast majority of cases end up woth custody either joint or with mother. The child still living with the mother even in joint.
Divorce laws are not specifically gender bias but the people involved are indeed biased. There are far more divorces in which custody alimony favored the woman. A very large law firm, my twice divorced female HS classmate is a lawyer for them, exists to specifically to represent men in such situations. Where there is a need there is a business to fulfill that need.
I personally wished my wife was earning more than she did now... Our plan was the second child was suppose to be raised by me as a stay at home dad. Unfortunately she chose to pursue a career of choice while I pursued a career primarily to support the family. I truly believed she had good intentions but I think she had differ priorities in mind that placed me in a better position to work while she stayed home. Yes.. There are some regrets.
Maybe if expenses were not so high families could afford to live on one income, and would make that choice, as much as that would upset certain groups.
These groups that you imagine do not exist. Women were not herded into anything by anyone, but rather as individuals broke free of traditional bonds and constraints because they wanted a slice of the pie. They wanted the challenge and stimulation of education and work. Not in most cases to the exclusion of home and family, but in addition. It's that simple.
I can't decide whether I find it humorous or terrifying that so many people believe the court system is so cut and dry when it comes to divorce.
Elections have consequences. So do poor decision-making in choosing a marriage partner and poor behavior while being married to such a person. Many more people actually made the bed that they lie in than are willing to 'fess up to it.
These groups that you imagine do not exist. Women were not herded into anything by anyone, but rather as individuals broke free of traditional bonds and constraints because they wanted a slice of the pie. They wanted the challenge and stimulation of education and work. Not in most cases to the exclusion of home and family, but in addition. It's that simple.
It is not simple at all. Women are finding they can't have it all or they don't want to do It All. Feminists are resisting this and "warning" women about giving up their power. They exist because I am part of a forum full of them. They do not believe any women should stay home with children ever. I'm sorry anyone feels being a stay at home mom is a prison or not having a slice of pie. There are only so many hours in a day, and you can't do everything, working full time is excluding oneself from much of the child's life. Again and again MANY women say they only work because they cannot afford not to have two incomes.
It is not simple at all. Women are finding they can't have it all or they don't want to do It All. Feminists are resisting this and "warning" women about giving up their power. They exist because I am part of a forum full of them. They do not believe any women should stay home with children ever. I'm sorry anyone feels being a stay at home mom is a prison or not having a slice of pie. There are only so many hours in a day, and you can't do everything, working full time is excluding oneself from much of the child's life. Again and again MANY women say they only work because they cannot afford not to have two incomes.
Anyone who actually believes that a woman who wants to stay at home and chooses to do so is "wrong" or "shouldn't do that" is not a feminist. Feminism gets a bad rap and there are those who bastardize the term with their words and actions. A true feminist would say do what you want and don't let anyone else dictate the course of your life. If that's staying home? Great! If that's working? Great! If that's splitting the different? Great! If it's choosing to move to Mars? Great!
The point is, the rise of feminism was brought about because women wanted to have agency in their own lives and didn't want to be told what they should or shouldn't do. And by the way, there are plenty of women who work because they actually enjoy their careers and working full time does not mean excluding oneself from much of the child's life. Especially once the kids start school - are you excluding yourself from your child's life by working while they are at school 8 hours a day? I think not.
People need to understand that hot button words like "feminism" and "privilege" don't actually mean what many people use them to mean.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
