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Old 03-30-2013, 07:42 AM
 
6,802 posts, read 6,713,845 times
Reputation: 1911

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The Tale of Bugs Bunny and Marvin Martian:

Why, I am inspired
by the epic fluffy tail
of Bugs Bunny
and Martian named Marvin
for Bugs did find himself
with a space oddity
a little green man
of uncertain demeanor
who seemed to intend
to blow up earth
now Bugs did protest in his way
and with the little Martian
he did play
with various jokes, teases and retorts
which left the Martian feeling very short
and under the weather
from constant reports
of sightings of Bugs around the place
making light of the situation
as he saved the earth from destruction
at the hands of the little green martian.


Looney Tunes - Spaced Out Bunny - YouTube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GtDPVeDKl8

Last edited by Senno; 03-30-2013 at 07:54 AM..

 
Old 03-30-2013, 07:47 AM
 
6,802 posts, read 6,713,845 times
Reputation: 1911
Quote:
Originally Posted by StaggerLee22 View Post
Irritable bowel syndrome is no joke.
....just saying...........

The General Lees Horn - YouTube
 
Old 03-30-2013, 10:53 AM
 
6,802 posts, read 6,713,845 times
Reputation: 1911
Mateo, good news. I was sitting on my couch examining my toenails when a poem peeked out a bit. Well, at least a title which is where my poems like to start themselves most of the time. I will take the time to explore the poem and see what else pops out of there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mateo45 View Post
Why do I get the feeling there oughta be a Fresno joke buried in there somewhere (or maybe I'm thinking of some other vegetable (and yes, I know, I know, tomatoes are actually a fruit...)?
Invasion of the Fresno Killer Tomaters

Fresno is known far and wide
as the greatest of veggie growers in the land
yet it's a dark secret we do hide
so gather in close
lend me your ear
for it's scary tale that you will hear
and you will learn to fear Fresno
and their killer tomatoes
for the rows of green ain't so benign
hiding behind leafy green and reddy red
are killer tomatoes that will leave you dead
for they leap up off of vine
and attack Pedro if given the time
so be knowing that it's not just fertilizer
and fair clime
we use to produce those wonderful vines
for they is extra reddy red
from the blood of the valley dead
but you are safe as you shop
for they are already sated by just one blood drop
so thank the field workers so brave
that bring fine food to your plate

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes - intro song - YouTube
 
Old 03-30-2013, 11:14 AM
 
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
8,852 posts, read 10,455,696 times
Reputation: 6670
Quote:
Originally Posted by Senno View Post
Personal anecdote about the General Lee. Up here in ag-heavy ''good ol boy'' country, where C/W and pop icons from "rural" culture are more common, was driving around looking for an address that was really "out in the sticks"", even by local standards. And there passing me on this country road, going iike a bat out of hell, was the friggin' General Lee, an orange Charger, with the number ''01'' on the side, the whole deal! In fact the driver also had dark hair and was even wearing Luke's trademark blue plaid shirt!

Anywho, I finally find the address, some nearby farm where I was buying some stuff off CraigsList, and mention seeing this car to the owner. And he says, ''oh, that's nothing, there are actually 3 of them like that around here!!''
 
Old 03-30-2013, 11:28 AM
 
6,802 posts, read 6,713,845 times
Reputation: 1911
Well, the only General I really know of in Fresno was General Vang Pao. A Hmong who fought on our side during the Vietnam war. All you whiners out there whining about Hmong in Fresno and elsewhere oughta know we owe them for their help during Vietnam. And I always thought Americans helped out their friends.

Vang Pao - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

And yes, I read his whole bio. He was there when we needed him and is deceased now.

There might be a few General Lee's tucked around Fresno County somewhere. It was a popular car on a very popular show.
 
Old 03-30-2013, 11:36 AM
 
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
8,852 posts, read 10,455,696 times
Reputation: 6670
And I gather he was also like ''The Godfather'' to the Hmong community, who you came to for certain kindsa ''problems'' (and how ironic that Brando also played a general in Vietnam... ''the horror, the horror'')!
 
Old 03-30-2013, 11:40 AM
 
6,802 posts, read 6,713,845 times
Reputation: 1911
I dunno. They are kinda clannish though. Old habits die hard in old men.
 
Old 03-30-2013, 11:41 AM
 
6,802 posts, read 6,713,845 times
Reputation: 1911
General Lee

General Lee got the news
Virgininia had seceded
and to war they would go
General Lee consulted his conscious
and to his state he thus owed
loyalty; so he resigned
commission and did report
where Davis did assign
Lee the responsibility of the times
the Army of Northern Virginia
and many southerners lives
now General Lee was trained at West Point
and the best of the best are so ordained
to lead great armies on the march
so Lee and boys done did there bestest
but they were beaten down finally
by Grant and the mighty
Army of the Potomac
 
Old 03-30-2013, 12:36 PM
 
6,802 posts, read 6,713,845 times
Reputation: 1911
Time for another installment of "What on earth are those weirdos in Texas doing now?"

We will start off with Longhorn steer horns on Caddies. The only use I can see for them is to get to the point with an obstinate window washer maybe. Don't take off after a patrolman, that would be a bad thing.

Texas Rangers. Holy cow, will you just finally win a world series please? How long can you maintain a worlds best offense for do you think? Besides Nolan Ryan needs another ring. I'm not really messing with Nolan Ryan cause he might bean me.

Galveston. One of the more brilliant choices we've made for city location. Get tired of the old look just wait, a Hurricane will be along to sweep it clean at any time.

Willie Nelson. Well nothing to say, keep on smokin Willie.

Chupacabra. As I have recently learned, if a goat dies it might in fact be a mountain lion that done did it. Just sayin....

Dallas Cowboys. I'm a Steelers fan. 6 rings baby. Thhhhppppttttt.

Jackie Slater. Well, I guess he's heard enough of not catching that pass in his lifetime. His dropped pass helps account for the Steelers win 35-31 in one of my favoritey all time Super Bowls.

Houston Oilers. RIP. How does such a big town lose their franchise?

Dallas Mavericks. Actually I was happy when they beat the Heat. But you do have to deal with Cuban. So maybe it's kinda a wash? I'm kidding, he's supposed to be a great owner.

Rick Perry. Apparently he doesn't know we have a large oil industry here in CA.

Some weird laws for fun. Can anyone tell me if wierd is an exception to I before E except after C though? I'm to lazy to look it up on the dictionary or click spellcheck.

Quote:
One must acknowledge a supreme being before being able to hold public office.
Well OK. I choose to acknowledge Diana Ross.

Quote:
A program has been created in the state that attempts to control the weather.
Wouldn't this kinda be like building the Tower of Babel to reach the supreme being you just acknowledged?

Quote:
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
Well, holy cow. Can't wait to get to their sodomy laws. I think it's a secret way to get ya to buy World Book though.

Quote:
Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.
.... That 7th ***** is the straw on the camels back. Do they regulate how many you can actually use at one time?

Quote:
It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
That's why I always request first story, smoking. Gotta account for my gunpowder smoke in there. I'm not smokeless user.

Quote:
It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.
Damn right. Those is my cows.

Quote:
A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
Does it have to be notarized or a sworn statement under oath?
Quote:

Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense.
I'm actually surprised. Thought for sure it would be a felony.

Quote:
It is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or quirts (riding crop), and explosive firecrackers of any kind.
The kids play illicit dodgeball. Lawbreakers in training.

Quote:
It’s illegal to possess realistic dildos.
And certainly not more than 6. Do they regulate length and girth?

Quote:
Landing an airplane on the beach is illegal.
Can I land in Galveston after an hurricane to help out?

Quote:
Drivers of city vehicles must respect all traffic rules just like the rest of us.
Hah. Take that red light running copper who does that at 3 AM when he thinks no ones watching.

Quote:
Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator.
Hey lookie. Texas has an odor law...

Quote:
It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo.
Well, once Ozzy did it everyone would try...

Quote:
Cattle thieves may be hanged on the spot.
When in Texas.

This has been the Texas review.

Last edited by Senno; 03-30-2013 at 12:48 PM.. Reason: is the quote a censor bypass or not? It's not censoring the plural in the quote.
 
Old 03-30-2013, 12:51 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,217 posts, read 107,859,557 times
Reputation: 116153
Quote:
Originally Posted by Senno View Post
Hah. Take that red light running copper who does that at 3 AM when he thinks no ones watching.
They can do it anytime they want. They just have to run lights and sirens for a couple of blocks.
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