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It ain't the 1950's. But, no, you won't find many couples that look like you. So what? Nobody's going to hurt you in the Bay Area over it. Do you have any friends as a couple? Yes? Well, then, it's not impossible. And the Bay Area is very diverse and accepting. Just don't hang out with people who are jerks. You'll be fine.
Location: Overlooking the vineyards, olive groves, cattle and horses in the hills of San Miguel CA
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There's no upside to hassling you guys for all but .00001 percent of Californians in the greater LA or Bay Areas... in thirty years of experience with friends from many countries, cultures and ethnicities courting and marrying each other in both SoCal and the Bay Area I'd say that all things considered, right now in 2014 SoCal would be the place you guys would likely be happiest going through the highs and lows of any rewarding human relationship with the least issues around where you're from and whom you look like.... for all its much vaunted 'tolerance', I've found the Bay Area over the last 40 years to be a little chillier than (let's say very roughly from Ventura to Oceanside and slightly inland as the biggest difference between the BA and the LA areas) SoCal in ways both Meteorological *and* cultural...
one young couple of the three couples we know who fit your 'couple/ethicity' mix live very happily and somewhat modestly in a beachside community in the LA area... she's Swedish and naturally very blonde... they recently sent us a video of her at home calling to their two young daughters in Swedish and they in turn answering her in Swedish... they are *tri-lingual* toddlers- English, Swedish and Hindi. They attend a Swedish School nearby and all are happily Living The Dream as they say... she's a successful caterer and marketer of her own candy and baked goods and he's a very busy scriptwriter. Their friends, community and workplace colleagues are all chill and very welcoming and supportive... let's put it this way- their two little girls are not the only black-haired moppets at the Swedish school!
If I were you I'd head to your first choice of SoCal and get busy with livin', my friend!
Last edited by threepounduniverse; 06-10-2014 at 02:29 AM..
From what I have heard from people who have lived in California, there is surprisingly a lot of hatred towards Indian and Asian males in the Bay Area and a few of my friends have told us to avoid it. They have said that my girlfriend and I will be an anomaly in the Bay Area because women there tend to look down on the idea of dating an asian or indian male. I have also heard that when we move there plenty of people will refuse to be friends with us or give us a tough time for being a young interracial couple that involves an indian male (someone considered to be the lowest on the dating ladder) with a young attractive white female (who is sought after by almost everyone).
Is this a serious concern? The Bay doesn't give a care about that, unless you make it an issue or come across someone who has issues. Yes, you will look like an odd couple because most Eur/asian couples tend to be opposite, but who cares?
And are you sure that you asked for advice about the Bay, versus some other area? This doesn't sound like the SF Bay at all.
Honestly, I don't know how this is even a 'thing'. The average Californian, from San Diego to the Bay, doesn't really care who you are or aren't dating. It isn't any of our business. If you move to California, this shouldn't be a concern...it wouldn't even make the top 10. It isn't the south or the Midwest. California is an international, cosmopolitan state with both very well educated people and a strong, and also very diverse, working class. From my experience, it is Asians (whether Korean, Chinese or Indian) who tend to date very exclusively with people only of their background. Like I have a Gujarati friend who will only date other Gujaratis. Even then, just about Indian friend I have has someone in their family that is married to someone of non-Indian background. This is in Southern California.
I am Latino (Mexican) and have dated women (and men) that were Cambodian, Filipino, Korean/Japanese, Serbian, Venezuelan, South Asian, African American.... Honestly, sometimes I didn't even know what they were ethnically...and at the end of the day it doesn't really matter, as I care much more about whether they share similar music interests than what their ancestry is. Also, no matter who I dated, their/my ethnic background was never an issue.
Sorry to put it like this, but you two aren't that special. ( :P ) Not many will pay attention to you two outside the occasional nosy stare that people give to couples (they do this to every couple, no matter the race.) Also, I know plenty of women (of all races) that are attracted to Indian men. Albeit, Bollywood has set some pretty high standards.
Funny that the midwest gets so much hate for interracial relationships, the reason they are so rare there is because everyone is white but I have seen white girls there date all races of men. No issues at all.
I am a guy of Indian heritage who went to college in Illinois, met my girlfriend there who facially resembles Hayden Panetierre (I don't want to post pics of her on here and I don't think she would approve anyways). She was in a sorority and I was your typical gym addict frat boy.
We moved to California almost a decade ago and here is our experience in all of the different places.
San Diego: Literally NO issues at all, people did not even acknowledge it. The only thing that happened was a bunch of mexican men were giving me high fives and thumbs up one time which I found kinda funny. Outside of that we made a lot of friends and just realized no one even talked about us being an interracial couple. We also remember seeing a good bit of latino and asian males with white females there so that might have had to do with it.
Easily the best city in California IMO.
San Francisco: A lot of problems from almost everyone, we were surprised ourselves. The people of the Bay Area might act all liberal and pretend to care about all races but we were surprised to experience what we did in our 3 years there. We literally felt like there was a bullseye on our heads.
Asian women were the absolute worst in all of this. The ones there tried to talk my girlfriend into dating a white guy and openly criticized her for being with me. Many would say things like "but why are you with an indian if you can easily have a great white guy for yourself". Quite a few would stare at us and go "you aren't actually a couple are you?", when we said yes they would talk so much about how white girls don't typically like asians or indians.
White "liberal" males would often try to talk to me about how amazing asian women and indian women are and what I am doing with a white girl. I tried to change the topic but some would say that if men like me keep having kids with women like my girlfriend then the blonde gene will go away. Quite a few made it clear to me that white girls don't typically date oriental males.
There were a few black guys that would hit on my girlfriend in public right in front of me and when she would be holding my hand they would reply with things such "awww come on baby don't tell me u with him now". A lot were openly racist too.
Asian and Indian guys would not leave me alone and kept asking me how I met my girlfriend. One Indian guy actually told me he would pay me a lot of $$$$ if I can help him get white girls.
There is a pretty good reason you don't see white girls with indian or asian men in the bay area that often despite there being plenty of both there.
Los Angeles: Here now, same as San Diego. Not many problems whatsoever and going out to different places here we do see asian and latino men with white women, slowly starting to see more indians with white girls too! Love it and would recommend it.
I don't have many good things to say about the Bay Area but I wish I did. It seems to me like Northern California despite claiming to be as liberal as it is has this whole social racism which discourages girls who are white from hooking up with guys that are asian or indian. I do recall seeing black guys with white girls which means there is no way it can be racist.
San Francisco: A lot of problems from almost everyone, we were surprised ourselves. The people of the Bay Area might act all liberal and pretend to care about all races but we were surprised to experience what we did in our 3 years there. We literally felt like there was a bullseye on our heads.
Asian women were the absolute worst in all of this. The ones there tried to talk my girlfriend into dating a white guy and openly criticized her for being with me. Many would say things like "but why are you with an indian if you can easily have a great white guy for yourself". Quite a few would stare at us and go "you aren't actually a couple are you?", when we said yes they would talk so much about how white girls don't typically like asians or indians.
White "liberal" males would often try to talk to me about how amazing asian women and indian women are and what I am doing with a white girl. I tried to change the topic but some would say that if men like me keep having kids with women like my girlfriend then the blonde gene will go away. Quite a few made it clear to me that white girls don't typically date oriental males.
There were a few black guys that would hit on my girlfriend in public right in front of me and when she would be holding my hand they would reply with things such "awww come on baby don't tell me u with him now". A lot were openly racist too.
Asian and Indian guys would not leave me alone and kept asking me how I met my girlfriend. One Indian guy actually told me he would pay me a lot of $$$$ if I can help him get white girls.
There is a pretty good reason you don't see white girls with indian or asian men in the bay area that often despite there being plenty of both there.
Are we speaking of a weird techie subculture, here? Because only really odd, dysfunctional types would be all over your case about racial dating stuff. Where are these people? They sure as hell aren't all over the Bay Area.
So my girlfriend and I are a very rare kind of interracial couple, I don't mean that in a bragging kind of way but I mean it in the sense that I doubt even in California you would find couples like us.
My girlfriend is a young white female (blonde) and I am a male of south asian (indian) heritage. We recently graduated college and we are thinking about places to move to, both of us have loved the state of California. Unfortunately, given the incidence involving Eliot Rodgers I am thinking that something like seeing an indian looking guy with an attractive blonde would probably not be anything close to the norm in California.
From what I have heard from people who have lived in California, there is surprisingly a lot of hatred towards Indian and Asian males in the Bay Area and a few of my friends have told us to avoid it. They have said that my girlfriend and I will be an anomaly in the Bay Area because women there tend to look down on the idea of dating an asian or indian male. I have also heard that when we move there plenty of people will refuse to be friends with us or give us a tough time for being a young interracial couple that involves an indian male (someone considered to be the lowest on the dating ladder) with a young attractive white female (who is sought after by almost everyone).
I don't believe this, this is what I have been told. We were more interested in Southern California anyways.
Are there any places in CA where a couple like my girlfriend and I would be somewhat common and not face a lot of issues?
1. As for the weird techie subculture comment, no. What I noticed with nor cal is that most women there are asian and white women are generally not as easy to find. The ones who do look good are often a part of very tight circles. Maybe it is my impression but I found that white people in San Francisco (especially the females) were not too open to interacting much with outsiders unless we are talking white guys there with an asian girl fetish in which case they did pursue them. I definitely received a lot of issues and found myself in interrogation like situations in the bay area.
And really think about it. If there are that many south asian males in the bay area and usually south asian men are known for liking white girls and you hardly see any with white females there, what does that tell you? Men are going to be men and pursue women so if that interracial pairing is not happening often then chances are that white women in the bay area are just not that receptive or open to being with a south asian male, americanized or not.
2. I have never been to the south so I cannot comment but I have lived in the midwest where I was born and raised, there certainly isn't that much taboo going on about interracial relationships there. The thing is that the midwest has a lot of White people and not that many minorities outside of the big city but once you do put someone like say an asian or indian dude in Wisconsin, he has an easy time assimilating and being a part of the society there and if he was to date a white girl no one would care and he would have an easy time dating one anyways since there are so many.
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