Would you move from Lakeside CA (SD area) to Boston if you were me? (Irvine: fit in, 2013)

[Mass hole in Cali]

I love where I live and I love California. I love living in Lakeside and I feel like I fit in here. I'm irish (as in born in Ireland) and grew up in Boston, all my immediate family is in Mass or New Hampshire. I miss my mother and dad and want my kids to have grandparents that they know. Also education in California sucks, even in good schools the curriculum is bad and there is a lot of social engineering thrown in that don't belong in public school. I don't care much for CA state politics but I dont like MA politics either, although I feel that East Coast liberals are less hippy wahoos and more about unions and the working class than CA where a lot of it is nonsense social issues and too much power to environmentalist extremists.

My wife is an LA native (Tujunga) and her parents now live in Coeur dAlene Idaho, CA is all she knows.

I love the CA lifestyle but my loved ones (besides my wife and kiddos of course) are in MA, education is better in MA and I won't have to pay out of state tuition for kids college in MA (I went to UCI and transferred out to ASU and I wouldn't send my kids to a UC/CSU for free) and also this might sound silly but I can keep my kids better in touch with our Irish cultural roots in MA because Irish culture is everywhere there, still a ton of newly arrived Irish immigrants in many neighborhoods and nearby suburbs, I guess that's the same why Mexicans raise their kids in Whittier or Chinese in Irvine, to be able keep the culture alive for their children growing up in the USA


In my situation, would you move to Boston?


We have two kids both under 10 and my wife is a housewife and she has said she doesn't mind and its up to me. I am an X-ray tech and in both places I would make the same money, $20 an hour/just over $40k. I am a homeowner, bought a foreclosure at auction and renovated myself.



What would you do?

[wac_432]

Originally Posted by Mass hole in Cali

...although I feel that East Coast liberals are less hippy wahoos and more about unions and the working class than CA where a lot of it is nonsense social issues and too much power to environmentalist extremists.

That's about right. Liberals in CA are more about environmentalism, self-discovery, and local community, while liberals out East are more about populism and protectionism.

My wife is an LA native (Tujunga) and her parents now live in Coeur dAlene Idaho, CA is all she knows.

She will hate the weather. She might or might not get used to it, but for years she will notice (and maybe complain) about 9 frozen months, 2 sweltering months, and one month of reasonably decent weather.

I love the CA lifestyle but my loved ones (besides my wife and kiddos of course) are in MA, education is better in MA and I won't have to pay out of state tuition for kids college in MA (I went to UCI and transferred out to ASU and I wouldn't send my kids to a UC/CSU for free)

That's silly. Besides MIT and Harvard, no MA school stands out more than private CA schools, or ones in the UC system. Nobody outside of BOS has ever heard of Tufts or WPI (is that even right?) or any other MA university. Everybody knows Stanford, Berkeley, UCLA, and a lot of people know the other UC's and private schools.

and also this might sound silly but I can keep my kids better in touch with our Irish cultural roots in MA because Irish culture is everywhere there, still a ton of newly arrived Irish immigrants in many neighborhoods and nearby suburbs, I guess that's the same why Mexicans raise their kids in Whittier or Chinese in Irvine, to be able keep the culture alive for their children growing up in the USA

That's not silly. There are many more immediate European immigrants in Boston than in CA.

In my situation, would you move to Boston?

Never in a million years. We specifically left Boston for SoCal. However, some of our reasons don't apply to you. Here's why we moved, and something for you to think about:

1. Nasty people. The EC, and especially the NE, is amazingly insular and unfriendly. You have family there, so you will probably be fine. Unless they act like typical M*******s and make your wife hate their guts (as in-laws sometimes do.)

2. Nasty weather. Though changing seasons can be fun. For a few days, then there's 200 more days of ice and sleet to go...

3. Less natural beauty. The mountains are lower. The skiing is worse. The coast is swampier and flatter. The surfing is worse. You can drive to many more beautiful places from SoCal than you can from BOS.

4. It feels like the end of the world. Boston feels like the last outpost of civilization to the north. Kinda like Winterfell. You can go south to NYC, but that's about it without flying.

5. Less innovation/opportunity. Boston is all about establishment. Established research universities, established banking institutions, established transit systems (they still have conductors--and you can still fare dodge!), established unions, and resistance to change. Starting a business or doing anything new and innovative is an uphill battle in the NE compared to in experiment-friendly CA.

6. An overall feeling of closed-mindedness, which may just be an amalgamation of some other things I've listed.

7. Gawdawful roads. Poor layout and poor maintenance. I've never been anywhere where it took 45 minutes to go 9 miles with NO TRAFFIC!

We have two kids both under 10 and my wife is a housewife and she has said she doesn't mind and its up to me. I am an X-ray tech and in both places I would make the same money, $20 an hour/just over $40k. I am a homeowner, bought a foreclosure at auction and renovated myself.



What would you do?

On the plus side, home prices are waaaaay up here, so you could probably sell at a huge profit (did you buy post-2009?) and get a pretty nice place on the North Shore (my favorite part of BOS), or wherever.

[znlwovuhrjw]

Boston MA Average Temperatures by Month - Current Results

365 - 245 = 120 days of potential days of snow.

[wac_432]

Originally Posted by kingdomkz

Boston MA Average Temperatures by Month - Current Results

365 - 245 = 120 days of potential days of snow.

Easy for someone who has never lived there to say. It snows in late April and early October. 7*30=210 potential days of snow. Though I bet it snows in may some years too.

[the city]

The only people I know moving out of CA are the ones who want to save money by getting cheaper housing and have less taxes. Other most everyone outside of CA wants to move here.

[wac_432]

Also, be aware that MA has a flat 5% income tax, so you will pay a few thousand more a year in taxes there. Unless you make over 250k per year, in which case you would pay less.

[NoMoreSnowForMe]

I grew up in CA and moved to WA. I hated all the clouds and the long winters.

I moved to TN, and hated the humidity and the icy winters.

When you grow up in CA, especially in an area with no snow, where you can go outside and be comfortable most of the year, it's about impossible to adjust to living somewhere where you can't do that. In WA, it was ice and snow from late October to May, often, and I couldn't plant a garden until June. There's a saying there that "we have 9 months of winter and 3 months of bad sledding." Between the long winters and the clouds the rest of the year, I was just miserable.

And in TN, the humidity kept me running from A/C to A/C most of the summer, and dealing with ice and snow in the winter. So, again, a tiny window of decent weather in the spring and fall where it's nice to be outside.

I can also say that adjusting to TN culture was nearly impossible for me, too. The friends I made were all from somewhere else - New York or a western state. The culture in WA was similar enough to CA that that wasn't a problem.

But, I really think between the culture people here have mentioned and especially the weather, your wife may be miserable. And you know the saying, If Mama Ain't Happy - Ain't Nobody Happy. And mother-in-laws are really challenging for a woman. Unless your mother is extremely unique, no matter how much you love her or think she's a saint, she will probably not be very nice to your wife. Mothers never think their sons' wives are good enough. And sons normally can't see how their mothers are making their wives miserable.

Another thought, don't expect your kids to go to college where you want them to go. Odds are they'll want to go somewhere far away from you. It's normal. I lived in Davis and couldn't afford to pay for my daughter to go to Santa Barbara where she wanted to go, so she just got student loans and went there. Best you can do is tell them how much you'll contribute. But, anyway, just don't count on them cooperating on going to a college in MA, no matter your reasons for wanting them to.

I'd suggest a compromise if you still want to move back to MA, and that's to rent out your house in CA and go try it for a year. If it doesn't work out, you can move back.

[the city]

One nice thing to mention about Boston is it's close to Phili, NYC, and I think Connecticut's major city too. I think you can take train and subway to them.

i say stick to where you own a home and have a job. security is so important these days. if it doesn't work out, it will be alot harder to get a rental or house again in CA and could take a while to get a job back.

[Jimrob1]

Can you do this. Keep your home in Lakeside, and rent for a year in Mass. Basically do a trial run. That way if the adjustment to living in Mass doesn't come, then you can pack up and go home to Lakeside. I think your wife could have trouble with this type of move. Actually I'm thinking you might find that you really can't go home again. You may find yourself constantly comparing Mass to your life in Calif. I know the weather and the crowded commuter type living in Mass. Combined with the horrible winters, and I will add to the comments on the horrible roads. I honestly cannot stand to drive on the roads in Mass. All of that can be the deal breaker for many with the region. My family in Mass has said after this winter, they don't know if they can stand another.

I'm Irish like you, the same scenario. My entire family that is in this country lives in Eastern Mass, but I don't. Its the climate high COL for very old housing, and the awful commutes on those horrible roads that keep me out. I visit that's it. Other than that I love New England. I think its one of the most unique parts of the country. I feel the connection to Europe when I'm in New England. I just can't live there again in life. I feel you might end up regretting the move, but of course I can't say for sure. That is why I think it would be best, if you could hang on to your home, while you do a trail run with Mass. I know its probably easier said than done. Good Luck with your decision.

[Chuck5000]

If your wife has anyone at all whom she's close to in MA, that would make a big difference. If she's going there knowing nobody, and she doesn't have experience living on that coast or traveling there much, then this seems riskier to me.

I'm from the East Coast, and it has it's negatives. It also has positives. Many many more good suburban public school districts and lower housing costs. Better community colleges, let alone many more sub-Ivy colleges. Very beautiful springs and autumns. Some summers are nice, every summer has plenty of good days. And some winters are mild.

A lot of really direct, funny, and easy-to-know people. There are crazy people everywhere.