Are people in California meaner than other parts of the county? (San Francisco: 2015, rent)

[cyrusp1991]

Are people in California or Southern Cal to be exact meaner, or not as nice as people from other parts of the U.S? I'm born and raised in Southern California (orange county to be exact), and still reside and work here. However the last 3 years or so I've been doing more traveling to other areas and found that people in other states are much more friendly, and warmer, and nicer.

in 2013 I went to Indianapolis to visit a close friend. I would walk in the downtown area or a local park and people who I didn't even know would say hello to me, and start up a conversation. It was a really pleasant surprise. They would ask how my day is going, and it was like a small town feel in a big city. I enjoyed how approachable people seemed.

in 2014 I went to the South (charlotte area). People from the South are super nice! I would be in a grocery store and people could tell I was looking for something and other customers themselves would walk me through the isles and show me where things were. People there were really down to earth, and not full of themselves at all.

then this summer in 2015 I went to the northwest (portland & seattle) and same thing! I was walking through a park in Portland and asked this lady for directions somewhere. Not only was she nice enough to give them to me, but again started up a conversation with me because she realized I wasn't from there. Asked me where I was from, and eventually I ended up taking her out to coffee later that afternoon. In seattle i was at a local coffee shop drinking coffee, and reading a book and people who were sitting by me just stated up a convo with me about the book i was reading, and how I liked Seattle so far.
- in a span of about 5-6 days I met more people in the northwest just by accident walkin in public or at local shops/cafe's/ coffee shops there than I did in So cal in the last year.

I'm not saying People in So cal are rude or disrespectful, but they don't seem as warm, friendly, and down to earth. Everyone here keeps to themselves.People are also all about labels here. What car they drive, and if their prada sunglasses are on right, and if they have the newest fashion designer purse. The life style in So cal also seems significantly faster vs other areas of the county.

[MaxLMG]

Yes absolutely. It is largely due to the commute times and traffic.

I believe Charles Manson was once quoted as saying, "I moved from Ohio to California and lived a fairly normal life while pursuing my doctoral degree. Slowly the commute from when I was living in Orange County to LA County began to wear on me which ultimately caused me to move up north to San Francisco, establish the Manson Family and thus commit horrific crimes."



^^^^^^^^
So there you go. Empirical evidence right there.

[Mr5150]

Originally Posted by cyrusp1991

I'm not saying People in So cal are rude or disrespectful, but they don't seem as warm, friendly, and down to earth. Everyone here keeps to themselves.People are also all about labels here. What car they drive, and if their prada sunglasses are on right, and if they have the newest fashion designer purse. The life style in So cal also seems significantly faster vs other areas of the county.

Ya gotta love LA!

Fortunately, LA is well under 1% of CA.

[Ruth4Truth]

OP, part of what you experienced, especially in Seattle, was because you were obviously a visitor, and asked directions. The culture in Seattle is not friendly, generally, if you live there. But people will be helpful to visitors, and a few people will take a further interest.

I've found NorCal to be the friendliest place I've ever lived, as a resident. I don't know about LA, but the sheer masses of people, traffic/freeways, etc. might contribute to people wanting to isolate a bit when they're not out there fighting traffic and working.

However, like you, I was pleasantly surprised when I visited Colorado, and people strolling on the street would say hello in passing. That happens occasionally in the Bay Area, but not as much as in CO. People are very neighborly there. I think probably mid-Westerners are like that, too, as you found out.

[Curmudgeon]

Originally Posted by cyrusp1991

Are people in California or Southern Cal to be exact meaner, or not as nice as people from other parts of the U.S?

Oh, absolutely. Why, they'll bite your head off for breakfast and suck your blood for lunch. By dinner what's left of you will be spitted, grilled and served with a BBQ sauce.

[luv4horses]

A lot of friendliness does depend on peoples' stress levels. Commuting and struggling to make the rent is stressful. I would guess some folk have very little free time after working and driving and they are in a panic to get things done.

It also depends on your age and their ages, the type of lifestyle embraced by the locals, and whether yours is somewhat similar. If you are a lot younger, you are like their son or daughter, a lot older, like their grandparent, and that is a more friendly situation. Students are friendly to students, high rollers are friendly to high rollers, parents of toddlers to the same. Dog walkers are friendly to mellow dog walkers and surfers to surfers.

I worry that crowding makes people meaner, but maybe not. We'll see as "up-and-coming" towns like Raleigh and Austin get more crowded. Certainly lots of younger people are flocking to the urban centers, and why if not to look for new friends.

[savoytruffle]

Originally Posted by MaxLMG

I believe Charles Manson was once quoted as saying, "I moved from Ohio to California and lived a fairly normal life while pursuing my doctoral degree. Slowly the commute from when I was living in Orange County to LA County began to wear on me which ultimately caused me to move up north to San Francisco, establish the Manson Family and thus commit horrific crimes."

LOL. I believe it.

Anyway, I get kinda fed up with the whole "are residents of (Insert State Here) meaner than others?" because nice people and rude people are EVERYWHERE. What you have to look at is the culture of the area. In SoCal there isn't as much an emphasis on politeness as there is in the South (or I guess the Midwest...never been there but most people say Midwesterners are polite). Also, the comments about traffic and rent being stressful are on point. It is less laid-back when you have to sit in traffic for 2 hours to get to work. You generally won't be down with talking to strangers when you are in a rush. You see this in New York City as well and many New Yorkers are considered rude, but I have been there many times, and met many nice people, even a Manhattanite who gave us directions when we were lost.

Look at the overall American attitude. Americans are regarded by many other countries as being friendly and outgoing. Obviously there are some negative stereotypes too but those are the most common positive ones I hear.

So my conclusion is, there may be a little bit of a difference culturally, but to consider Californians (or anyone) as rude overall is a bit ignorant.

[crouching_tiger]

Ha lol if you think this Californians are mean, don't even visit NY, Boston, NJ etc LOL.

[MaxLMG]

My comment about Manson was a joke for anyone who didn't pick up on that. He was never in OC as far as I understand, he was primarily up north.

In all seriousness, compared to the Midwest people here in California are not as friendly. Usually everyone I have met is either quick to try and cut any small talk conversation short or avoid small talk if possible.

To be honest I don't really fault Californians though. Unless they have a high paying job, most are working more than 1 job to pay for the high cost of living here, on top of having to deal with constant traffic, their nerves are probably just fried at the end of the day.

In the Midwest the cost of living is so low and it's very spacious so the environment is more relaxed ironically.

There's a lot of entrepreneurs here in California and even in cities like NYC and Boston, it's on-the-go for work which can be very stressful, so I don't really hold that against anyone.

[expatCA]

Originally Posted by luv4horses

I worry that crowding makes people meaner, but maybe not. We'll see as "up-and-coming" towns like Raleigh and Austin get more crowded. Certainly lots of younger people are flocking to the urban centers, and why if not to look for new friends.

Crowding does, at it adds more stress and you have people living in an area that work in another so they spend little time together with the neighbors. They can't form links with a "community" as easily as in smaller towns. Where I last lived I on a cul de sac with 6 homes I never saw one neighbor, waved at one spoke with one and that was about it and I tried to get to know them all. Even Block parties that were established in the beginning (new development) faded as no one was home enough.Where I live now of the 6 homes on my cul de sac I see and wave or speak with all but one regularly and they do to me. In fact as you drive through the neighborhood everyone waves to each other including the kids. I live in a rural community where crowding and heavy traffic is a non issue(Non existant). Big cities bring more stress and less time to relax.