California attitude: Is it like this in the entire state? (Oakland: neighborhood, friendly)

[blueskywalker]

Where are you from Blob? Where were you before you moved to California?

[Bluesmama]

LOL!!! One poster cited the NW as having the most unfriendly people (popular descriptions are "The Portland Freeze" or "The Seattle Freeze"), and then another one said that Oregon has the friendliest.

Perfect example of different perspectives from people, just like with California.

I spent 2 weeks in New York City on a vacation, and I didn't find them rude at all. They don't sugarcoat, and they don't usually initiate conversation first, but they were always responsive and nice and helpful. I did experience some damn rude bus drivers, but I've seen my share of them in San Francisco and here in Portland, too.

[Electrician4you]

Originally Posted by theblob

We recently moved to California and are astounded by the attitudes we’ve encountered. We’d like to find a place in the state that is different. But if it is like this in all of the state, we’ll be moving on. Hope you can help us find an un-California attitude in California. Here’s our experience:

In San Diego county we went to an open house and as we were looking out the living room window at the interstate, the haze and the neighbor’s house, the owner came to us and said “Do you know what you’re looking at?” No hello, or my name is....
He obviously thought he had something much more wonderful than he did. Conceited.

We rented a house in San Diego county and asked the owner if we should be getting standard cable channels like ESPN. She said “I don’t know. I don’t watch ESPN.” Clearly if it didn’t matter to her, why would it matter to anyone else. A very self-absorbed person.

While renting a place in Palm Desert, a neighbor decided to help herself to the outdoor hose of our rental. When we checked what was going on she said, “Do you have something to say to me?” No hello or explanation. We consider this very rude.

We found that most people don’t smile or laugh and engaging them in a conversation is difficult. We find these people not only rude, self-absorbed, and arrogant, but shallow and devoid of personality. We sometimes feel that we can reach out and tip them over because they must be made of cardboard with no substance behind them.

We find that people don’t joke around and understand sarcasm. We give it and take it, and we find this fun. Californians look at us with blank stares when we do this. We encountered a transplant from Brooklyn (no, we don’t want to go there) who told us he has the same experiences. He warned us that Californians “don’t get the joke.” It’s true. So far we would find it hard to make friends in any of the places we’ve been.

We are open to trying different places in California, but if the whole state is like this, we’re gone. Suggestions on other places to try would be appreciated.

Some people just aren't as formal. I don't watch much tv so someone asking me a doecifucallys question would get a I don't know if I don't know.

[In2itive_1]

Originally Posted by sav858

Yeah I didn't really get it either. Don't get how someone is self-absorbed because they don't watch ESPN and can't tell you to get it or not.

I'm with you on this. What the heck? I would say the self-absorption may be the other way around.

[In2itive_1]

Originally Posted by seain dublin

This is a bogus post. How do you move to a state, but you don't actually live in a certain area? That makes no sense, they're all over the state, so you technically haven't moved any one place? Well where are your belongings?

You don't reside in a state if you're traveling from place to place, you're visiting the state.

OP never visited CA first and picked up on this so called attitude? Odd. Just decides to move here but is traveling around, doesn't make sense. You do that before you move, not after.

No posting history, I suspect it's done by someone on CD who lives in another state who likes to CA bash, logged in under a new name just to stir the pot.

Y'know.. I wonder about this too, having seen some supposed "first-timers" being seemingly familiar and comfortable and will question what or how content is shared. Not the first time I have observed this.

[Ceece]

Originally Posted by saibot

This was my first thought on reading the OP. Not that the people "didn't get it," but that they thought the sarcasm was unfunny. The same way people will deliberately ignore or stare blankly if someone attempts a racial joke, etc.

Well sarcasm either runs in your family or it doesn't and it runs deep in mine and we are all native CA going back a couple generations. We do insult a lot of people accidently/on purpose but they have either learned to embrace it or don't bother with us.


I KNOW the east coast sarcasm too, from some of my transplant friends. It actually sounds ruder with the east coast accent but it still cracks ME up!

[Gentoo]

Originally Posted by SOON2BNSURPRISE

I don't get the sarcasm, especially to people you don't even know. I have a saying that you need to know your audience before you say anything to them. I am as polite as they come when I meet someone and start to get a feel for them. I would consider it very rude for someone to bring out a sarcastic attitude when I first meet them. I would consider them somewhat less than educated on how to be around others. Sarcasm should be kept for only those that are close to you, good friends and family, or people that you want to pi.. off.

I agree with this. Like David Aguilar, I am VERY sarcastic, to the point of annoying many people. However, I am never like that with people I don't know. I think it's a complete lack of social skills to come off like that with strangers.

[Gentoo]

Originally Posted by EclecticEars

t Coast who would look and act just oh so excited to be wherever they were at that moment. /sarcasm

The rudest people I've met in California have been in San Francisco (city, with its smug hyper-leftism), the west side of L.A. (Hollywood and "shallow" influences), and San Diego (surprisingly). Even in much of L.A., the people I've met have been fine (again, as long as I'm not west of about La Cienaga). I don't find the people of the Central Valley or Central Coast to be particularly any more or less friendly in daily, passing interactions than the famously hospitable South.

I sort of agree with this. San Francisco and San Diego are perhaps the least friendly but this is to west coast standards. I've been to 41 states and I would say both SD and SF are powerfully chummy compared to a place like Pennsylvania.

[Count David]

Originally Posted by Gentoo

I agree with this. Like David Aguilar, I am VERY sarcastic, to the point of annoying many people. However, I am never like that with people I don't know. I think it's a complete lack of social skills to come off like that with strangers.

I only do it once I'm comfortable with people, and even after YEARS, some of my friends and acquaintances don't get it, like they think I'm just being an ass (so I tone it down with them and play the straight man until I feel like they get it).

[Gentoo]

Originally Posted by David Aguilar

I only do it once I'm comfortable with people, and even after YEARS, some of my friends and acquaintances don't get it, like they think I'm just being an ass (so I tone it down with them and play the straight man until I feel like they get it).

Yep, same here. I am the ******* of my circle LOL