02-07-2009, 08:27 PM
Location: southern california
61,288 posts, read
87,395,538 times
Reputation: 55562
my favorite is when they try to get you leave your job, move up to join them and they dont tell you they quit their job and have developed a monster mastercard habit since you last saw them.
02-08-2009, 09:58 PM
359 posts, read
1,312,335 times
Reputation: 222
Are you insane?
I can't believe a pre-med student needs to come on here and ask for advice! You stated yourself this bum does nothing and does not want you to do anything. Anyone who is supposed to be with me and does NOT want me to go to MED SCHOOL? Will be a part of my past so damnnn ffaaassst! Why would you mess up your life dealing with this type of guy when it seems you have so much going for yourself? He is not the problem I would want to know WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM that you dislike yourself to this degree?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Bella85
I will try to make this as short as possible. My husband and I live in San Diego right now. I have lived here my entire life, he has lived here for 4 years. We have been together for 2 years. We have a 1 yr old son and a baby due in March. He wants to move to Plumas County in Norther CA soon after the baby is born. I do not. I am currently in school working on my pre-med requirements I will be done in two years. I just recently decided to go to medical school. I was studying psychology and have my BA in Psych. My husband says that I can go to school up there at Reno or Chico and doesn't think I should go to medical school. He is miserable here. He has been unemployed for 6 months and makes little effort to find a job. He helps out only a little. We live in a studio in the back of my parents house and don't pay rent. He hates it. He is not fond of my family, even though they do so much for us. They buy our son everything he could possibly need and have offered to help pay for my husbands schooling.
02-08-2009, 10:04 PM
Location: Vancouver, WA
8,213 posts, read
16,691,071 times
Reputation: 9463
Sorry but aren't you guys beating a dead horse. The original poster hasn't even been on the board since she posted this 2 months ago. Take a look if you don't believe me. Huck decided to resurrect it yesterday for who knows what reason.
02-08-2009, 11:26 PM
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read
41,029,544 times
Reputation: 13472
He's such a Huckster!
02-09-2009, 11:23 AM
1,112 posts, read
2,485,655 times
Reputation: 1130
Working and providing for a family is very important for a man. He is probably down on himself because he is unable to provide for you and your family. From what you've shared he has been looking for employment for 6 months. I hear it can take longer and I have seen what some of my friends have gone through. More like 8-12 months. Let him know that you are almost finished with school and it is important in a marriage that you support each others dreams and goals. Thankfully,you have your parents help. This can be frusterating living situation for him but it won't last forever. A couple steps back to go 5 steps forward is how I see it. I would suggest that your husband look in different states as well. He could commute while you finish school. Give and take is very important in a marriage. As time goes on you may have to leave CA and compromise. Unemplyoment is very high in that state but good things can happen. I have seen many young couples starting out that had to move home for awhile while the husband went back to school because he changed professions or for other reasons. The couples I'm thinking of ended up doing really well later on.
02-09-2009, 01:03 PM
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
77,771 posts, read
104,690,931 times
Reputation: 49248
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Bella85
I will try to make this as short as possible. My husband and I live in San Diego right now. I have lived here my entire life, he has lived here for 4 years. We have been together for 2 years. We have a 1 yr old son and a baby due in March. He wants to move to Plumas County in Norther CA soon after the baby is born. I do not. I am currently in school working on my pre-med requirements I will be done in two years. I just recently decided to go to medical school. I was studying psychology and have my BA in Psych. My husband says that I can go to school up there at Reno or Chico and doesn't think I should go to medical school. He is miserable here. He has been unemployed for 6 months and makes little effort to find a job. He helps out only a little. We live in a studio in the back of my parents house and don't pay rent. He hates it. He is not fond of my family, even though they do so much for us. They buy our son everything he could possibly need and have offered to help pay for my husbands schooling.
well Bella, you probably have already decided what to do so I am just stating how I see this. Have you written to Dear Abby about this?
02-09-2009, 01:11 PM
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
77,771 posts, read
104,690,931 times
Reputation: 49248
Quote:
Originally Posted by
cabolissa
YES!
My thoughts exactly. It sounds like we are dealing with a couple of pretty immature kids regardless of their age. She wants all of us to feel for her even though she says she wants unbiased opinions. I would like to hear his side of the story. She wants to be a doctor, but she will have 2 lilttle ones and how does she even know she will get into medical school. That isn't the easiest thing in the world. She mentioned he is a student. I would think, at this time it might be a good idea for her to let him get his education and then she can work on hers, keeping in mind, as I said, medical school isn't the easiest school to get into.
Also I noticed the last paragraph, I don't want to be a single mom, what is she saying? Does she value for marriage or just doesn't want to be a single mom...??
Does anyone get the idea we are dealing with a young man that isn't ready for the responsibility of a wife and 2 kids and a young lady that may be spoiled rotten by mommy and daddy?
and of course this is an old thread, so I am amazed she didn't some back. I guess we should just let it die.
Nita
Last edited by nmnita; 02-09-2009 at 01:39 PM ..
02-09-2009, 01:21 PM
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
77,771 posts, read
104,690,931 times
Reputation: 49248
Quote:
Originally Posted by
sav858
How do you know that? What are you basing this off of? You make way too many assumptions, including assuming she doesn't have a job.
Actually this is what loans are for, to help better yourself for the future. What is she suppose to do? Forget school and go work in fast food so she doesn't have to take out student loans?!? Yeah, b/c that would be better in the long run for her kids
You gotta spend money to make money and this is an INVESTMENT in the future well being of her family. You obviously don't really value education if you are discouraging someone from becoming a doctor.
Working full time, going to school, and taking care of a family. She is doing a hell of a lot more than others in her situation, I admire that.
and you beleive everything she is saying...??? I have some awesome desert land outside of Albuerque I would love to sell you???
she already stated at the beginning what her parents were doing for her. Now, she wants us to believe she is doing everything and dear hubby is all at fault and yet, she wanted our honest opinions.
Nita
02-09-2009, 07:40 PM
Location: NW. MO.
1,817 posts, read
6,857,976 times
Reputation: 1377
Bella85, Are you still around? I missed this thread till today and I wanted to respond to you. I know Plumas county and might be able to help with at least some conversation. Let me know of you are still on the boards.
03-21-2009, 06:10 PM
2 posts, read
9,182 times
Reputation: 10
Your husband seems to have classic symtoms of an abuser. There are books about this sort of thing. He doesn't want you to succeed. I have a friend who is a doctor. She is doing very well. The fact that he can't see that two years will go by fast shows his lack of insight. You are wise to make plans. He has none. His threats to leave are a control issue. To do this to you when you are going to have another baby shows you that he doesn't give a crap about you. He needs counseling. Misery loves company, and this loser will not be happy until he makes you miserable. Do not yield. If he cared about you he would be struggling for the benefit of your family (you and your child and new baby.) His behavior is despicable. He needs to be told to "man up." Unbelievable. Let him go his way. You will meet some fine person in medical school who will treat you as you deserve to be treated. Your life is an investment. What you leave behind is your children. Set a good example and get rid of the bum before he ruins your life. Sorry to be so blunt, but there are books about this type of behavior in law school libraries or online. Good luck.
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People in Group quarters - College dormitories (includes college quarters off campus) (%)
People in Group quarters - Military quarters (%)
People in Group quarters - On base (%)
People in Group quarters - Barracks, unaccompanied personnel housing (UPH), (Enlisted/Officer), ;and similar group living quarters for military personnel (%)
People in Group quarters - Transient quarters for temporary residents (%)
People in Group quarters - Military ships (%)
People in Group quarters - Group homes (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes or halfway houses for drug/alcohol abuse (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for the mentally ill (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for the mentally retarded (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for the physically handicapped (%)
People in Group quarters - Other group homes (%)
People in Group quarters - Religious group quarters (%)
People in Group quarters - Dormitories (%)
People in Group quarters - Agriculture workers' dormitories on farms (%)
People in Group quarters - Job Corps and vocational training facilities (%)
People in Group quarters - Other workers' dormitories (%)
People in Group quarters - Crews of maritime vessels (%)
People in Group quarters - Other nonhousehold living situations (%)
People in Group quarters - Other noninstitutional group quarters (%)
Residents speaking English at home (%)
Residents speaking English at home - Born in the United States (%)
Residents speaking English at home - Native, born elsewhere (%)
Residents speaking English at home - Foreign born (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home - Born in the United States (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home - Native, born elsewhere (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home - Foreign born (%)
Residents speaking other language at home (%)
Residents speaking other language at home - Born in the United States (%)
Residents speaking other language at home - Native, born elsewhere (%)
Residents speaking other language at home - Foreign born (%)
Class of Workers - Employee of private company (%)
Class of Workers - Self-employed in own incorporated business (%)
Class of Workers - Private not-for-profit wage and salary workers (%)
Class of Workers - Local government workers (%)
Class of Workers - State government workers (%)
Class of Workers - Federal government workers (%)
Class of Workers - Self-employed workers in own not incorporated business and Unpaid family workers (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Utility gas (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Bottled, tank, or LP gas (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Electricity (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Fuel oil, kerosene, etc. (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Coal or coke (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Wood (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Solar energy (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Other fuel (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - No fuel used (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Utility gas (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Bottled, tank, or LP gas (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Electricity (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Fuel oil, kerosene, etc. (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Coal or coke (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Wood (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Solar energy (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Other fuel (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - No fuel used (%)
Armed forces status - In Armed Forces (%)
Armed forces status - Civilian (%)
Armed forces status - Civilian - Veteran (%)
Armed forces status - Civilian - Nonveteran (%)
Fatal accidents locations in years 2005-2021
Fatal accidents locations in 2005
Fatal accidents locations in 2006
Fatal accidents locations in 2007
Fatal accidents locations in 2008
Fatal accidents locations in 2009
Fatal accidents locations in 2010
Fatal accidents locations in 2011
Fatal accidents locations in 2012
Fatal accidents locations in 2013
Fatal accidents locations in 2014
Fatal accidents locations in 2015
Fatal accidents locations in 2016
Fatal accidents locations in 2017
Fatal accidents locations in 2018
Fatal accidents locations in 2019
Fatal accidents locations in 2020
Fatal accidents locations in 2021
Alcohol use - People drinking some alcohol every month (%)
Alcohol use - People not drinking at all (%)
Alcohol use - Average days/month drinking alcohol
Alcohol use - Average drinks/week
Alcohol use - Average days/year people drink much
Audiometry - Average condition of hearing (%)
Audiometry - People that can hear a whisper from across a quiet room (%)
Audiometry - People that can hear normal voice from across a quiet room (%)
Audiometry - Ears ringing, roaring, buzzing (%)
Audiometry - Had a job exposure to loud noise (%)
Audiometry - Had off-work exposure to loud noise (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Has high blood pressure (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Checking blood pressure at home (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Frequently checking blood cholesterol (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Has high cholesterol level (%)
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on food at supermarket/grocery store
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on food at other stores
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on eating out
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on carryout/delivered foods
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on food at supermarket/grocery store (%)
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on food at other stores (%)
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on eating out (%)
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on carryout/delivered foods (%)
Current Health Status - General health condition (%)
Current Health Status - Blood donors (%)
Current Health Status - Has blood ever tested for HIV virus (%)
Current Health Status - Left-handed people (%)
Dermatology - People using sunscreen (%)
Diabetes - Diabetics (%)
Diabetes - Had a blood test for high blood sugar (%)
Diabetes - People taking insulin (%)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Diet health (%)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Milk product consumption (# of products/month)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Meals not home prepared (#/week)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Meals from fast food or pizza place (#/week)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Ready-to-eat foods (#/month)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Frozen meals/pizza (#/month)
Drug Use - People that ever used marijuana or hashish (%)
Drug Use - Ever used hard drugs (%)
Drug Use - Ever used any form of cocaine (%)
Drug Use - Ever used heroin (%)
Drug Use - Ever used methamphetamine (%)
Health Insurance - People covered by health insurance (%)
Kidney Conditions-Urology - Avg. # of times urinating at night
Medical Conditions - People with asthma (%)
Medical Conditions - People with anemia (%)
Medical Conditions - People with psoriasis (%)
Medical Conditions - People with overweight (%)
Medical Conditions - Elderly people having difficulties in thinking or remembering (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever received blood transfusion (%)
Medical Conditions - People having trouble seeing even with glass/contacts (%)
Medical Conditions - People with arthritis (%)
Medical Conditions - People with gout (%)
Medical Conditions - People with congestive heart failure (%)
Medical Conditions - People with coronary heart disease (%)
Medical Conditions - People with angina pectoris (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever had heart attack (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever had stroke (%)
Medical Conditions - People with emphysema (%)
Medical Conditions - People with thyroid problem (%)
Medical Conditions - People with chronic bronchitis (%)
Medical Conditions - People with any liver condition (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever had cancer or malignancy (%)
Mental Health - People who have little interest in doing things (%)
Mental Health - People feeling down, depressed, or hopeless (%)
Mental Health - People who have trouble sleeping or sleeping too much (%)
Mental Health - People feeling tired or having little energy (%)
Mental Health - People with poor appetite or overeating (%)
Mental Health - People feeling bad about themself (%)
Mental Health - People who have trouble concentrating on things (%)
Mental Health - People moving or speaking slowly or too fast (%)
Mental Health - People having thoughts they would be better off dead (%)
Oral Health - Average years since last visit a dentist
Oral Health - People embarrassed because of mouth (%)
Oral Health - People with gum disease (%)
Oral Health - General health of teeth and gums (%)
Oral Health - Average days a week using dental floss/device
Oral Health - Average days a week using mouthwash for dental problem
Oral Health - Average number of teeth
Pesticide Use - Households using pesticides to control insects (%)
Pesticide Use - Households using pesticides to kill weeds (%)
Physical Activity - People doing vigorous-intensity work activities (%)
Physical Activity - People doing moderate-intensity work activities (%)
Physical Activity - People walking or bicycling (%)
Physical Activity - People doing vigorous-intensity recreational activities (%)
Physical Activity - People doing moderate-intensity recreational activities (%)
Physical Activity - Average hours a day doing sedentary activities
Physical Activity - Average hours a day watching TV or videos
Physical Activity - Average hours a day using computer
Physical Functioning - People having limitations keeping them from working (%)
Physical Functioning - People limited in amount of work they can do (%)
Physical Functioning - People that need special equipment to walk (%)
Physical Functioning - People experiencing confusion/memory problems (%)
Physical Functioning - People requiring special healthcare equipment (%)
Prescription Medications - Average number of prescription medicines taking
Preventive Aspirin Use - Adults 40+ taking low-dose aspirin (%)
Reproductive Health - Vaginal deliveries (%)
Reproductive Health - Cesarean deliveries (%)
Reproductive Health - Deliveries resulted in a live birth (%)
Reproductive Health - Pregnancies resulted in a delivery (%)
Reproductive Health - Women breastfeeding newborns (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that had a hysterectomy (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that had both ovaries removed (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that have ever taken birth control pills (%)
Reproductive Health - Women taking birth control pills (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that have ever used Depo-Provera or injectables (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that have ever used female hormones (%)
Sexual Behavior - People 18+ that ever had sex (vaginal, anal, or oral) (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever had vaginal sex with a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever performed oral sex on a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever had anal sex with a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever had any sex with a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever had vaginal sex with a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever performed oral sex on a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever had anal sex with a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever had any kind of sex with a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Average age people first had sex
Sexual Behavior - Average number of female sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of female vaginal sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average age people first performed oral sex on a woman (18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of woman performed oral sex on in lifetime (18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male anal sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average age people first performed oral sex on a man (18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male oral sex partners in lifetime (18+)
Sexual Behavior - People using protection when performing oral sex (%)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of times people have vaginal or anal sex a year
Sexual Behavior - People having sex without condom (%)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male sex partners in lifetime (females 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male vaginal sex partners in lifetime (females 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of female sex partners in lifetime (females 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Circumcised males 18+ (%)
Sleep Disorders - Average hours sleeping at night
Sleep Disorders - People that has trouble sleeping (%)
Smoking-Cigarette Use - People smoking cigarettes (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ having problems with smell (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ having problems with taste (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had wisdom teeth removed (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had tonsils teeth removed (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had a loss of consciousness because of a head injury (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had a broken nose or other serious injury to face or skull (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had two or more sinus infections (%)
Weight - Average height (inches)
Weight - Average weight (pounds)
Weight - Average BMI
Weight - People that are obese (%)
Weight - People that ever were obese (%)
Weight - People trying to lose weight (%)
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