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How is your husband 5 years later? I just hate living in fear
and to hear the horror stories oh my!!!
He is considered healed but I will tell you and I am know others will agree, you never totally stop worrying. this might be a good thing as it makes you seek help sooner, but just don't let it consume you. That is the worst thing you can do for him and for yourself.
Thank you they said it was caught early but again who knows? I was worried about waiting weeks for surgery but they said it was fine it won't spread that quickly so I guess waiting until the 21st isnt too bad..He see's oncologist on Tuesday I have no idea what to expect from that Appointment..Still what type of treatment did you need? and how are you doing?
I belong to these support groups on FB and well I have to be honest I am terrified..I am thinking positive and yet I am reading everyone's stories and all I can think of is NOT losing my husband and that even caught early, life will never be the same..If its Stage 3 we are in for a long haul and who is to say these people told me that it wont come back...I am so scared that we will constantly live in fear of this horrible cancer and will never feel free
Just knowing there is a need to see an oncologist will scare even the bravest among us. Once I met my oncologist, many of my fears were diminished. He made me believe that I had a treatable health problem. He made me feel as if we were a team and would fight this together. There was always someone available from their office no matter if it was day or night. I needed these things. I felt so alone when I was first diagnosed. I was the first in my immediate family to ever have cancer and no one knew what to do for or say to me. My oncologist made me feel normal again. I think many of us develop a dependence upon our oncologists during treatment, which is just a way of turning some of our fears over to them.
I hope you give up the FB support groups at least for now. I think many online groups are more fear groups than support groups. I had limited involvement with a good breast cancer site when first diagnosed, but when I found myself imagining every bad thing that others posted would happen to me, I pulled back. Good thing too, because many of the bad things others posted about had nothing to do with my situation.
I was diagnosed with stage 2B breast cancer in 2009 (ER+, PR+, HER2-) which, fortunately for me, is the best kind --the type, not the stage. That means I am able to take estrogen blocking drugs to help keep it away. I had a low oncotype score, which is a great thing because it means the odds are in my favor. I had four rounds of chemo because of the positive node. While it wasn't any fun, it wasn't anything like the old TV shows always showed. Chemo is so much easier these days for most of us. They now have a shot to build up your white count the day after chemo. I lost my hair, but when it grew back, the gray that was starting to come was gone. I was now back to being totally red! So far, so good (knock wood.)
First of all, I'm so sorry for this cyclone of cancer you're caught up in. The biopsies, the tests, the surgery...it all happens so fast and decisions have to be made. It is unnerving and so, so scary.
As I type I'm in bed recovering from a mastectomy with reconstruction....a painful surgery. But my cancer was not in the lymph nodes and was stage 2. So I'm lucky.
As you gather more info and time passes, you will both feel more settled. I'm going to pass onto you the advice that was given to me in this forum from another cancer patient: as best as you can take it one day at a time. I was kinda put off when I first read that. I was anxious and thinking "yeah, easy for you to say! I might die!" But she was right. Just take it one step at a time, one procedure at a time, one appointment at a time. It will get easier. Hopefully the oncologist appt. will help fill in some of,the information gaps.
I too joined those support groups on FB and they scared the hell out of me. After two days I unfollowed them. They were not helpful and caused my anxiety to soared.
Of course it's normal to feel anxious, but if the anxiety is taking over your life, ask the oncologist to refer you to a social worker who works with cancer patients and their families. A few sessions might be helpful.
Take good care of yourself.
I remember you from earlier. I hope the surgery went well, and I know, it is painful. That's great that it wasn't in your lymph nodes. Hope you have a speedy recovery.
I think I may unfollow because its not so much the Anxiety its the horrible fear, and I just don't know how we can live out life with always worrying...
You do learn to live with it. Some days, I can hardly believe I ever had cancer and went through treatment. The real fear only returns for me when I go for any testing or have some type of new pain. I can live with a few anxious days every year especially since most of the other days are back to normal.
It has helped me to try to do everything in my power to keep it from returning. I used the book, "Anti-Cancer, A New Way of Life" as my main guide. I'm not one to sit back and hope it doesn't return. I focused on keeping at a good weight, eating healthy food, exercise, and meditation. I had to feel as if I was doing something and now those things have become second nature to me. It must be working because I feel really good and have been told that I look good and very healthy.
When I would get down about the diagnosis in the beginning, I would think, "at least I saw the bus coming." So many don't have any warning when their health is failing, they're just here one day and gone the next. A relative of mine just had a heart attack and died at only 74. Everyone thought he was in great shape, but he never had a chance. At least they found the cancer I had when it was still fairly early giving me the opportunity to get rid of it. For that I am grateful.
Hello Swimmom, I don't have a story to tell. I just want to send good thoughts your way. I hope you and your husband can live without fear. Fear is what destroys us. Take each day as it comes and try not to worry. He will be in good hands. Enjoy your lives. Do things to take your minds off it. And I agree with staying off the Facebook "support" sites. Those just feed your fears.
Gastro Dr called regarding the biopsy of some other cells he took from last weeks colonoscopy they came out with no cancer..Although he said we still dont know past the wall/lymph nodes he wanted to say that this was a little bit of good news and he wanted to share...We are praying that after the surgery that the biopsy comes back ok and it will be Stage 1...
Hello Swimmom, I don't have a story to tell. I just want to send good thoughts your way. I hope you and your husband can live without fear. Fear is what destroys us. Take each day as it comes and try not to worry. He will be in good hands. Enjoy your lives. Do things to take your minds off it. And I agree with staying off the Facebook "support" sites. Those just feed your fears.
Just knowing there is a need to see an oncologist will scare even the bravest among us. Once I met my oncologist, many of my fears were diminished. He made me believe that I had a treatable health problem. He made me feel as if we were a team and would fight this together. There was always someone available from their office no matter if it was day or night. I needed these things. I felt so alone when I was first diagnosed. I was the first in my immediate family to ever have cancer and no one knew what to do for or say to me. My oncologist made me feel normal again. I think many of us develop a dependence upon our oncologists during treatment, which is just a way of turning some of our fears over to them.
I hope you give up the FB support groups at least for now. I think many online groups are more fear groups than support groups. I had limited involvement with a good breast cancer site when first diagnosed, but when I found myself imagining every bad thing that others posted would happen to me, I pulled back. Good thing too, because many of the bad things others posted about had nothing to do with my situation.
I was diagnosed with stage 2B breast cancer in 2009 (ER+, PR+, HER2-) which, fortunately for me, is the best kind --the type, not the stage. That means I am able to take estrogen blocking drugs to help keep it away. I had a low oncotype score, which is a great thing because it means the odds are in my favor. I had four rounds of chemo because of the positive node. While it wasn't any fun, it wasn't anything like the old TV shows always showed. Chemo is so much easier these days for most of us. They now have a shot to build up your white count the day after chemo. I lost my hair, but when it grew back, the gray that was starting to come was gone. I was now back to being totally red! So far, so good (knock wood.)
thank you for sharing your story/experience...I am very happy that you are well
your right about the groups on FB I did unfollow them because all I want to do is crawl into a hole and cry...
Hey Everyone
Just wanted to update you guys my husband has colon cancer and will be having surgery on the 21st of June and they will be removing his Spleen as well via Lapascopy..CT Scan showed cancer in the wall of the lining of the Sub Mucosa so we are praying that it didnt get to the Lymph nodes we of course wont know until surgery and then the biopsy at what stage although surgeon said from what he see's now its Stage 1 but could be stage 2 or 3
I am so sorry to hear this, Swimmom. It sounds like your husband has a great medical team & I wish him a successful surgery, speedy recovery & the best possible news.
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