How can I help my sister and Mom

[linicx]

I used the backdoor to get around the obstacles. I have a friend who has an older aunt. When it reached a point I could not leave my spouse alone for much more than an hour, I hired aunt Carol. But. Before this happened I had my friend bring the aunt so she was not a stranger. It worked well. Alzheimer patients don't seem to like surprises. They don't like their routine upset. They don't like 'nannies' especially if they are strangers.

The only thing Aunt Carol did was visit and fix lunch. They lhad common interests: music football and her nephew. There are always questions: Why is she coming? I don't need anyone. And I always replied: I am going shopping. I will be gone all day. I had the good luck that my spouse liked Aunt Carol and looked forward to visits despite the endless questions and push back.

Every person is different. Every situation is different. My spouse was a heart/lung patent. A stranger was in the house every week for four years. Aunt Carol didn't come until the Alzheimer got bad the fifth year. My spouse had been sick for 25 years before the fibrosis ended life. The last six years was palliative care. The only cure for fibrosis is lung transplant; my spouse was not eligible due to a failed quad bypass.

Caring for a dying patient is stressful under the very best circumstances. Your sister should be encouraged to take the time to pamper herself every week. She doesn't realize how much she needs to have time for herself and NOT feel guilty.

Eath comes in on cat feet when we least expect it. We can't stop it, we can only slow it down with good care.

[theoldnorthstate]

thanks, a good back door approach. I will see what we can do.