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I'm slowly preparing myself for a major purge of possessions. I'm not ready YET, but am mentally getting ready for it.
Part of it is at 57, I'm just not in the 'accumulation phase of my life anymore. I've GOT all (or most of) the furniture and dishwater and handbags, and do-dads I'll need. And I've lived though inheriting enough of my parents things that I did NOT want -- and seen in friends lives that they couldn't give some stuff away to their kids. Most young people just aren't interested in the vast majority of our old stuff.
I tell myself, OK if you haven't looked at it or touched it by this time next year, let it go. Of course I said that two years ago. But what can I say, Some people can go cold turkey and everything must go. For me, I'll need to be ready -- to let go of clothes I haven't even worn in YEARS, or EVER that still have the tags on them. But I LIKE just OWNING them. I like knowing they're there and their mine. I've joked with friends (and it's partly true) that I may indeed need their help (kick in the rear) -- and their loving insistence, that the amount of clothes I have ridiculous.
I do confess to being sort of a pack rat. HOARDER? no. Pack rat yes.
If I'm made to I will be able to get rid of the things. Short of that, I'm just not ready.
-- I have BOXES of old phone cords and connector cables
-- I have boxes AND boxes of -- well, storage boxes. Every shape and size. In case.....I need to store something.
-- I have more clothes than I'll ever wear. Some things I can't even fit anymore.
-- More holiday wrapping paper, and gift cards than anyone will likely use, (unless you're a crafter or something like that)
-- five gallon buckets of unused paint from the last remodel. Not five ONE gallon buckets, actually 6 FIVE-gallon buckets)
Not to mention, pictures artwork, family photos, etc.
And to be honest I've found my nieces and nephews don't even want actual photos of much any more. Let alone actual items.
Sure they MIGHT take a table or a scarf, or pin or a pot or a pan -- IF they need it at the time. But other than that...I already know no one will want MY stuff. They certainly won't be clamoring for their GRANDPARENT's items that I still have. They had their pick of some of that stuff years ago when the grandparents passed away.
I also already know I'll need to find a charity that will take the clothes as is (I still have some of my mom's old clothes.) I won't be trying to sell, or sort. I'll bag it and take it over there. That's it. If they can use it fine. If not, THEY can throw it away.
I also want to add that you need to talk to your children about your finances. My sister knew that the finance sheet we had gotten from dad was out of date, but neither of us had the nerve to bring up the topic. We were afraid our parents would think we were after their money.
My dad's finances were quite complex. I enrolled in the HR Block income tax course that fall in order to help me deal with his tax forms. It was time and money well spent. It took a couple of years to sort out the finances. The trust income is able to pay for mom's assisted living.
If you hide money, silver, gold in the house (a very bad idea in my opinion), you need to tell your children. Otherwise, the valuables may be sold with the house, to be found by a future owner.
I totally agree about furniture, bronzed baby shoes, and the like.
However, please do genealogists a favor! When you are culling through old photos and documents, scan those and upload them to genealogy sites, especially hundred-year-old family photos, even if you don't know anyone. It is very possible that you will help out a relative.
After you have done that, feel free to let that stuff go. I fully understand the minimalist lifestyle. But please think of others and future generations who will be doing research.
Some of this stuff will be happily taken by local museums..... especially the military stuff. Recently an elderly friend passed, and all of his WW2 photos and personal military documents were donated to a small museum with a military focus. They were thrilled, and will take great care of the items, and even had a special exhibit with them.
We never had a whole lot of "stuff" growing up and when my Mother died, (she had been living with my brother) he got whatever she left. When my Father died, his wife got what little there was and when she died, my half-sisters sold the only thing of value, the property.
Most of what I have is the "stuff" my kids left behind when they moved out. When I die and they complain about the "stuff" I saved, I hope they realize that they were contributors to the "stuff" pile.
There is a ton of photos and no matter what, I'm not throwing those away. A few antiques that I have prudently rescued from being discarded but not with enormous monetary value.
Most of my stuff consists of what I use during the course of daily life. I shouldn't be expected to downsize to the point that I have one plate, one bowl, one fork, etc so as to make my survivor's lives easier.
When I die, get a case of Guiness (or two) and a dumpster and have at it. It will give all of you time to be together to laugh at what I've saved and that can be fodder for jokes at every family gathering thereafter.
For me? The stuff older than 150 years goes into storage because younger family members may be interested in it later.
Everything else nobody wants NOW goes in the dumpster. Except usable stuff a Goodwill might cart away.
Some $50 vases aren't worth my time "selling".
I bartered my mother's items like that to a guy who did a broom clean out of her basement which had some mid-century furniture and other items so I could list the house.
Right now I'm sitting on a closet of circa 1800-1900 cut glass and Haviland china of my great grandmothers. I never use it and I don't know anyone who wants it except maybe some consignment shops for free. I'm getting rid of it shortly.
For an alternative view, so many heirlooms and antiques are of questionable quality, the results of early-20th or mid-20th century mass production. I’ve been trawling the local Craigslist looking for solid-hardwood bookshelves, coming up empty. Does nobody read and store books anymore? Does anyone like to display them in dignified, elegant fashion? Most items on Craigslist are veneered particle board, or perhaps a softwood like pine.
The point, therefore, is that nostalgia or Americana is perhaps less in vogue, but genuine quality – whether of something of grand and hoary pedigree, or made by a carpenter in 2007 – remains in demand. Otherwise it would not linger unsold, all over Craigslist.
have a yard sale .. price the painting reasonablely and a couple of them HIGHER so folks think they are getting a steal on art works .. the household "stuff" cheap and donate the papers to the local genology society whats left goes to the dump.. grandpas bronzed baby shoes mean zip to the young family members sooo off the dump with things no one but you can relate to .. .. I am having the same issue with old pictures in my family .. I am the only one who knew these folks .. in the end it wont matter anyways .. I saved the ancestery stuff in a file but the tangiable stuff no one wants is gone .. I made the effort but no one was interested so eeehhh.. out it goes
Yep, I agree that somehow or another it needs to go. I've told the family "If you want it, come get it. I'll give you a year. After that, it's gone."
I mean, I have kept some items of course and will pass them down, but just because someone in the family owned something once doesn't make it a relic.
I'm glad you brought this up as I was thinking it would be a good discussion.
For me it has been a process and certain mindset, I think. I have downsized significantly over several years. I have very little in the way of stuff, furniture or heirlooms. I do have a small area in my garage with a few containers of important to me items and thats it. I will likely go through those items again and get rid of some if it. I'm tired of packing, stacking, moving, and collecting stuff.
Wish I could write more but gotta go to work....
Good discussion though!
Wow, you said exactly what I'm feeling in that bolded sentence.
BTW, FYI having just done this , donations to Goodwill or Habitat and the like will require being packed into boxes for them to take away which is the same amount of work as if you were moving lol.
Our charities and poor people are very SPOILED in America!
Habitat told me they would take any broken down moving usable boxes so I accumulated quite a pile of them. Then the guy tells me upon arrival he only takes them if you bind them up. WTH.
Last edited by runswithscissors; 07-19-2017 at 09:39 AM..
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