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She used to have a laptop maybe as recently as 5 years ago but her dexterity was not great and she really didn't have much need of a full keyboard anyway. Tablets have been billed as being simpler and the kindle seemed like a good choice considering reading was to be the main activity.
But then the kindles got more sophisticated and she found out about about other apps/games/music which she could handle pretty well until recently. So she's used those features all before and is now frustrated when she can't make them do what she was able to in the past - if she'd not had them, she'd not miss them so that makes it harder.
Then I guess you're left with managing her, not the Kindle. Put sideboards on her demands. Turn your phone off at night.
If the only thing email is being used for is to send cute animal videos back and forth (which is a sweet idea), I might suggest that instead the OP share the cute animal videos on her phone while she is there visiting, which would make email/passwords no longer necessary.
That would certainly be a possibility - when I started sharing the videos a couple years ago (before she was in hospice) it was because I wasn't seeing her every day and it was a way to "keep in touch". And I liked the idea that she was continuing to use email in general - we'd send each other e-greeting cards for all those made-up holidays! It was, and is, a way for her to get some entertainment for all the time when I wasn't there - she's obviously even more dependent now than she was then.
That would certainly be a possibility - when I started sharing the videos a couple years ago (before she was in hospice) it was because I wasn't seeing her every day and it was a way to "keep in touch". And I liked the idea that she was continuing to use email in general - we'd send each other e-greeting cards for all those made-up holidays! It was, and is, a way for her to get some entertainment for all the time when I wasn't there - she's obviously even more dependent now than she was then.
Maybe get her an Echo Show, that you can "visit" her on, and she can actually see you, and disable the internet features on her Kindle? She could also watch movies and shows on an Echo, as well as ask it questions. You can get them from about $70 for older models to $120 for newest.
Maybe get her an Echo Show, that you can "visit" her on, and she can actually see you, and disable the internet features on her Kindle? She could also watch movies and shows on an Echo, as well as ask it questions. You can get them from about $70 for older models to $120 for newest.
I'll check into this, especially since the Echo Show was also mentioned earlier - thanks.
I'll check into this, especially since the Echo Show was also mentioned earlier - thanks.
I know nothing about them. Here are links to a 1st and 2nd gen. Not sure it would work for her if she likes using kindle apps. Sounds like the echo is Alexa with a screen
Echo Show (2nd Gen) – stay connected and in touch with Alexa - Charcoal $199.99
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
I'm pretty sure I'd have an easier time with my sister if I had years of experience parenting my own kids! But since I don't I'll try to get some of your wisdom.
I've posted a couple times about my developmentally challenged sister in hospice at a nursing home. I do think some of her thought processes are slipping further because she's having multiple daily issues with her Kindle Fire tablet. She's having trouble sleeping and she's even calling me at 2:30 in the morning about passwords, and email, and needing to re-register, etc. Stuff I can't diagnose over the phone and even if I could I couldn't tell her how to fix it in an understandable way. So I try to put her off until our daily visit. But she is like a kid - she wants it FIXED...NOW. And it ruins every single conversation and monopolizes every single visit. I'm ready to throw it out the window!
She clearly is no longer in a position to get much if any kind of enjoyment out of the Kindle though she uses it to read a lot of the time (at least in the past). It has become a constant hassle for her and me - I have to admit I dread visiting and hearing the latest problem and then spending all my time trying to fix it. Now because I'm balking and she doesn't want to wait she's asking staff there to help her...OMG...and THEY do really screwy things with it that are very hard for me to figure out - like trying to create new accounts or changing passwords.
I want to just take it away but I can only imagine the tears and rage that will bring on....she will seriously HATE me. And we are sisters so my level of authority is pretty low so yeah, we are "rivals" still in some weird ways (I should say our parents are both gone and have been for more than 15 years now).
So beyond it being about a Kindle specifically, what advice do you have for me? It's not quite at the level of taking the car keys away but in some ways worse since she does not have a lot to entertain herself with at this point.
You still do not understand what you are working with. I do, as I live it every day, with my wife and her advanced dementia. The Kindle is the one thing that she is still has to hold on to her past life. It is like my Doctor told me about my wife.....When they are forced away from the past and only have one or two things to hold onto, when they lose those they go down hill very rapidly.
Take away the Kindle, and she will go down hill rapidly. It apparently is the only thing from the past that is holding her together, and if she loses that, she will be lost in this world. People that are giving you advice to take it away, or replace it with something else, do no understand your sisters problems, and are rationalizing solutions that sound reasonable to them. But they are not reasonable solutions to your sisters problem.
I have been able to understand my wife's problems, as 60 to 70 years ago, I had a grandmother that my mother put in a nursing home, as she could not handle working with my grandmother. It would hurt my mother when she went to the nursing home, and was asked which horse she rode in to visit with her. Then to be introduced to one of the nurses as the nurse was her daughter, and my mother was a friend from her neighborhood. And those were her good days.
It is very clear that the Kindle is your sisters crutch holding onto her sanity, and when that is taken away from her, she loses her important connection with reality. Don't take the Kindle away from her, or try to replace it with something else, as she will not understand either action, and will put her onto a faster down hill path, as my doctor puts it. The others giving advice, are using rational thinking, but your sister no longer thinks rationally.
You still do not understand what you are working with. I do, as I live it every day, with my wife and her advanced dementia. The Kindle is the one thing that she is still has to hold on to her past life. It is like my Doctor told me about my wife.....When they are forced away from the past and only have one or two things to hold onto, when they lose those they go down hill very rapidly.
Take away the Kindle, and she will go down hill rapidly. It apparently is the only thing from the past that is holding her together, and if she loses that, she will be lost in this world. People that are giving you advice to take it away, or replace it with something else, do no understand your sisters problems, and are rationalizing solutions that sound reasonable to them. But they are not reasonable solutions to your sisters problem.
I have been able to understand my wife's problems, as 60 to 70 years ago, I had a grandmother that my mother put in a nursing home, as she could not handle working with my grandmother. It would hurt my mother when she went to the nursing home, and was asked which horse she rode in to visit with her. Then to be introduced to one of the nurses as the nurse was her daughter, and my mother was a friend from her neighborhood. And those were her good days.
It is very clear that the Kindle is your sisters crutch holding onto her sanity, and when that is taken away from her, she loses her important connection with reality. Don't take the Kindle away from her, or try to replace it with something else, as she will not understand either action, and will put her onto a faster down hill path, as my doctor puts it. The others giving advice, are using rational thinking, but your sister no longer thinks rationally.
I was suggesting the echo show as a replacement for email only. It appears to be the email that is causing the most problems due to the need for a password. OP said she uses email to stay in touch with her sister by sending videos etc. But that could easily be replaced with an echo show her sister could actually see her and they could talk. It doesn’t mean she still can’t use the Kindle, but certain features like email could be disabled. She could go back to using just the Kindle reader, as she apparently used to.Those features appear to be causing her sister more distress then Joy. She said her sister use the old style Kindle for reading. She can still do that.
Maybe get her an Echo Show, that you can "visit" her on, and she can actually see you, and disable the internet features on her Kindle? She could also watch movies and shows on an Echo, as well as ask it questions. You can get them from about $70 for older models to $120 for newest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oldtrader
You still do not understand what you are working with. I do, as I live it every day, with my wife and her advanced dementia. The Kindle is the one thing that she is still has to hold on to her past life. It is like my Doctor told me about my wife.....When they are forced away from the past and only have one or two things to hold onto, when they lose those they go down hill very rapidly.
Take away the Kindle, and she will go down hill rapidly. It apparently is the only thing from the past that is holding her together, and if she loses that, she will be lost in this world. People that are giving you advice to take it away, or replace it with something else, do no understand your sisters problems, and are rationalizing solutions that sound reasonable to them. But they are not reasonable solutions to your sisters problem.
I have been able to understand my wife's problems, as 60 to 70 years ago, I had a grandmother that my mother put in a nursing home, as she could not handle working with my grandmother. It would hurt my mother when she went to the nursing home, and was asked which horse she rode in to visit with her. Then to be introduced to one of the nurses as the nurse was her daughter, and my mother was a friend from her neighborhood. And those were her good days.
It is very clear that the Kindle is your sisters crutch holding onto her sanity, and when that is taken away from her, she loses her important connection with reality. Don't take the Kindle away from her, or try to replace it with something else, as she will not understand either action, and will put her onto a faster down hill path, as my doctor puts it. The others giving advice, are using rational thinking, but your sister no longer thinks rationally.
I do get this - however, if her irrational thinking persists or gets worse (likely) she's going to wear herself into a frazzle of anxiety over "getting it to work right". I've put on the parental controls but as she points out "You're not my mom!" - and frequently she does stuff that brings up the screen to enter that parental password which she hates. Of course as sisters we have that kind of relationship but obviously there are some parental features where I'm responsible but she doesn't accept that.
I don't want to take it away - and she has had better days since then because I added some more books to pad out her library (she's afraid she'll "run out") and since I told her she could not add any apps on her phone. I can't lock her phone down but she seems to have listened to me and at least she's not getting bombed with ads and spam such that the phone was practically locking up on her.
I'm just trying to balance and the balance point keeps shifting back and forth. I would like to figure out at least a transitional device that I could introduce and then at some point it would replace the kindle. More broadly, it doesn't help that no one will give me any kind of timeframe. It seems she'll need to get reassessed at 6 months to stay in hospice - maybe that process will yield more information since they basically do no bloodwork or any lab stuff beyond acute conditions that arise in hospice....but that's another issue.
I use a kindle fire as my main computer (like right now!)
There are passwords for practically everything, including posting on this forum. If you don't notice them, it's because you told your device to remember and fill them in.
If you turn off wifi in settings, can she figure out how to turn it back on?
You should be able to load some books and games that work offline.
Have you tried audio books with her? She wouldn't need glasses.
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