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So much for just getting by. A week ago Wednesday my husband was again having difficulty swallowing. He ended up choking and I again had to do the Heimlich Maneuver. The increased energy for some unknown reason caused our largest dog (a 100 lb Chesapeake Bay Retriever) to attack our other male dog (an 80 lb Rhodesian Ridgeback). When I tried to break up the fight I was badly mauled on my right hand. After finally getting them separated, I called 911 for my injuries and my brother to take care of my husband while I went to get my hand stitched. The next day, I went to the county shelter where the dogs had been taken. While curled in my arms, I had my Chessie put to sleep. The next day, my husband fell. He ended up with a black eye but otherwise seemed ok. Fast forward to Sunday. We received 9 inches of snow. I headed out and got our driveway and walks cleared. When I came in, my husband told me he couldn't get up out of bed. With the deep snow I knew getting an ambulance through to the house wasn't possible, I managed to get him out to our 4 wheel drive SUV and drove him to the hospital. I'm glad I did. He has 4 transverse fractured vertebrae. I just got him home today. I'm completely overwhelmed. Our two remaining dogs are completely unsettled and my husband is just being an absolute jerk. I haven't even processed yet the loss of my dog and my patchwork stitched hand much less the army of nurses, physical therapists and social workers that will be descending on us. Over the last two days I've clean the floors, walls, rugs and cabinets that were covered in blood spatter from the dog fight. I understand now that me being in control of all this was just an illusion. I have to figure out where we go from here. But that is for tomorrow. I just needed to vent tonight.
OMG! What a nightmare! Any one of those occurrences is horrible but to have them all coincide is more than anyone should have to bear.
FTD by itself is enough to test anyone but the loss of your dog, your injury, his fractures . . . just all of it is almost too much to fathom. Yes, it's time to re-evaluate and plan your next path. It sounds like your husband's condition has turned a corner, sadly.
I wish I could do more than send condolences, healing thoughts, best wishes and cyber hugs. But know that I'm with you in spirit for whatever that's worth.
P.S. One more thought . . . be sure to take advantage of whatever services are offered to you. The social worker will be a valuable source of moral support and information to help you take the next steps.
Oh my gosh, I am so, so sorry for all of it - all of it. What a terrible combination of events. Like others have said, one by itself would be pretty bad (starting with the heavy snow) but all at once - UGH.
I agree, it sounds like your husband has taken a serious turn for the worse. What are some of your options? This is so, so much of a load for you to carry. Maybe too much of a load.
One time, and this isn't as bad as your situation but the song seems to fit, my mom was still living alone in her house after my dad died, but she wasn't doing well because she couldn't drive. I had already been over there once earlier that day. I was already IN BED and my brother (out of state) called me and said very apologetically, "I know it's really late and Mom is probably fine, and the phone is probably just off the hook, but I've been trying to reach her for two hours now and I can't get her. I'm not asking you to go over there, but..." Sigh. So I got up, got dressed again, and drove over there again, and rang her doorbell - no answer. I went in (I had a key) and she was simply sound asleep, in her bed, with the phone off the hook of course. I mean, she thought she had hung it up, but she had hung it up upside down so it was just off the hook. I didn't even wake her up. I just put the phone back up right, and left quietly. On the way home, this song came on - and wow, I could sure relate:
So much for just getting by. A week ago Wednesday my husband was again having difficulty swallowing. He ended up choking and I again had to do the Heimlich Maneuver. The increased energy for some unknown reason caused our largest dog (a 100 lb Chesapeake Bay Retriever) to attack our other male dog (an 80 lb Rhodesian Ridgeback). When I tried to break up the fight I was badly mauled on my right hand. After finally getting them separated, I called 911 for my injuries and my brother to take care of my husband while I went to get my hand stitched. The next day, I went to the county shelter where the dogs had been taken. While curled in my arms, I had my Chessie put to sleep. The next day, my husband fell. He ended up with a black eye but otherwise seemed ok. Fast forward to Sunday. We received 9 inches of snow. I headed out and got our driveway and walks cleared. When I came in, my husband told me he couldn't get up out of bed. With the deep snow I knew getting an ambulance through to the house wasn't possible, I managed to get him out to our 4 wheel drive SUV and drove him to the hospital. I'm glad I did. He has 4 transverse fractured vertebrae. I just got him home today. I'm completely overwhelmed. Our two remaining dogs are completely unsettled and my husband is just being an absolute jerk. I haven't even processed yet the loss of my dog and my patchwork stitched hand much less the army of nurses, physical therapists and social workers that will be descending on us. Over the last two days I've clean the floors, walls, rugs and cabinets that were covered in blood spatter from the dog fight. I understand now that me being in control of all this was just an illusion. I have to figure out where we go from here. But that is for tomorrow. I just needed to vent tonight.
I am so so sorry I cannot even imagine what you are going through. I will pray for you both.
Can I ask though when is the last time your husband was seen by a speech therapist? It sounds like he might need a swallow study and a change in texture of food and or beverages. If he is choking this much, he cannot handle the consistency of the diet he is on. Can you request a speech therapist consult from the home care agency?
I don’t know why animals do that. I once took a step back in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on one of my cats tails, who I didn’t know it was sitting right behind me. He yowled, and for whatever reason that triggered my other cat to go after him and attack him. It was very weird and scary. I am so sorry you had to lose your pet.
Echoing everyone here, I'm so sorry. There's overwhelm and then there's overwhelm. My dad went into assisted for far less than what's going on with your spouse. He's doing so much better now. There comes a time when consistent non-family care is what becomes necessary even if we want to be the one doing it.
Yeah. I was just going to ask but I'm new to this forum so don't know your history but is there a reason why you're taking care of him at home versus at a nursing home facility? His needs sound more than an assisted living facility can handle?
I'm asking because I'm in a similar situation with my mom. I'm still going back and forth on whether to let her remain in a skilled nursing facility or take her home and be her caretaker with home health aids.
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