A letter to my cats and visitors ... (feline, sleeping, food)

[Tigerlily64]

Apologies if you have seen this before but I love it and wanted to share....

For those of you who have cats and love them, you know exactly what I am talking about. The following letter was posted very low on the refrigerator door.

Dear Cats,

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.

However, cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other cat's butt or litter pan. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear cats, I have posted the following message on the front door, so that you know I do have your comfort in mind.

TO ALL NON-CAT OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR CATS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my cats a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters
who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't smoke or drink,
(7) don't want to wear your clothes,
(8) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children

[Wilson513]

Originally Posted by Tigerlily64

TO ALL NON-CAT OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR CATS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my cats a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters
who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

I agree with every bit of this sentiment.

[suedonym]

ive seen this before and by far, my favorite line is

(3) I like my cats a lot better than I like most people.

boy isnt that the truth! LOL

[sandycat]

I have kids and will admit that I love them more than Willow <gasp>, however the whole thing about cats being better than kids is pretty much true! Love it, thanks for the smile this morning.

[Garden of Eden]

Thank you so much for sharing!

[katzenfreund]

I agree with everything , thanks for sharing!!!

[Lola4]

Someone recently told me that she didn't think she could ever come to my home with us having 7 felines. I wanted to reply... "Who said you were invited?"

[jasper12]

Add one more on why cats are better than kids...

They show gratitude. My cat appreciates me. He does not just take, and run away.