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It's time to let them go when their quality of life is significantly compromised, whether or not you are ready to let them go.
I'm not saying it is easy, it never is but is a much a part of caring for them as all the years of good food, love, etc.
The sharp pain of loss does gradually change in to a dull ache that never quite goes away but it is far outweighed by all the moments of joy we have with them.
I went through this with my first cay in May. My vet was so ignorant she didn't know he was near the end and had actually scheduled a dental appt.
I cancelled the appt. because I could tell he was not well. I wish I had known, so his last week could have been about letting him go peacefully, rather than vets and medication to cure a condition that would not matter anyway.
My cat was sick for quite awhile and kept throwing up. We tried a lot of things, different food, steroid shots, etc. but he kept declining. We even forced fed him thinking he may come out of it. He was only 6. Finally, he got so skinny and it was obvious he was starving to death but I didn't want to hurry it along.
When he started to hide in the corner or boxes I knew he was trying to find a peaceful place to die. I have another cat and he stopped sleeping with her. She may have known the end was near as well and told him to stop sleeping with her. I would imaging in the wild sick cats are not allowed to die with healthy ones since that would draw bigger animals to come to eat it. So sad.
He passed fast, as soon as the shot was administered it seemed. My hubby was devastated since he didn't know we were going to go in with him but I could not just drop him off and leave. I had said my goodbyes the day or two before but my hubby had not, so it was hard for him. I don't know if I can ever convince him to get another cat. I still have one healthy one and I hope she stays that way for a long time.
banjomike: I know it's a terribly hard thing to do, but if you really want her death to be good, I'd say the time is here.
Thank all of you who commented very much!
I have decided to wait until the winter here is very cold and with snow on the ground. Speedo, my old cat, is still going out daily with her dog; they do their biz, then check the yard out and hang out together until one or the other lets me know they want back in.
When she was younger, the weather made no difference to her- she wanted out every day, even when a blizzard was going on, but last year, she didn't want out for over 2 months, and even then, didn't go out very frequently until late spring.
As long as she's still asking to go, it's a real indication to me that she's still enjoying her life. If she quits asking before hard winter sets in here, I'll probably take her to the vet, but for now, I'm planning on waiting until January or February at the latest. It won't be long, for sure- just over the past few days she has lost some of her appetite, which is another big sign for me. If she stops eating for two days, then it will be time, not matter if it fits what my plans are now or not.
My old dog is going to miss her. She is older than he is, and they have been pals his entire life. He's growing steadily more deaf, but is in otherwise very good shape for his age.
I am indulging her in her last days- cats love to curl up in open banjo cases. The case is an excellent cat bed, but they get the cases very hairy- not so good for the banjo. I'm leaving a case open for her and vacuuming it out daily, and she's loving it- I've always chased her out of a case before.
I really appreciate how objective you fine folks are about this. Your objectivity was just what I needed to help make a decision!
Funny how we do this, isn't it? I don't know that my cat is close to her last days, quite probably she will be around a few more years. But as she has aged we certainly have become more indulgent, or perhaps mainly me as I was always the less indulgent one. While rooms are still closed off when we are not home or not using them, we no longer keep her out of rooms when we are in there. This includes the bedroom, which was long completely cat-free due to allergies. Now in the evening we let her come in there. She doesn't stay all night at all, and while it's open in the morning when getting ready for work, she doesn't go in there and lie on the bed or anything. It's funny how she's retained some sort of self-imposed limits, really. And of course part of that is routine, certain things happen at certain times of day. She always came just inside the bedroom doorway in the mornings, and that's still as far as she'll go at that time. Keeping the door open at night at least allows me not to wake up from her scratching it (she had gotten worse about that, which is much of why we gave up closing it). Sometimes I get woken up by her jumping on the bed instead though. Heh. But somehow that's not as bad.
Great description of what you're doing, and it certainly sounds like you have as good a handle on it as one might reasonably expect to have. Hang in there and good luck.
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While rooms are still closed off when we are not home or not using them, we no longer keep her out of rooms when we are in there. This includes the bedroom, which was long completely cat-free due to allergies. Now in the evening we let her come in there. She doesn't stay all night at all, and while it's open in the morning when getting ready for work, she doesn't go in there and lie on the bed or anything. It's funny how she's retained some sort of self-imposed limits, really. And of course part of that is routine, certain things happen at certain times of day. She always came just inside the bedroom doorway in the mornings, and that's still as far as she'll go at that time. Keeping the door open at night at least allows me not to wake up from her scratching it (she had gotten worse about that, which is much of why we gave up closing it). Sometimes I get woken up by her jumping on the bed instead though. Heh. But somehow that's not as bad.
