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I have been dealing with/in denial about the FACT that Meeko is trying to Kill Freddie.
I won't have internet at home until late Saturday afternoon but will check for responses as often as possible until then.
At first I thought their play was just a little rough, but Meeko will try and hamstring Freddie and then flip him on his back and go for his throat.
This has progressed from only happening when Freddie is running (I thought it was a response to Freddie acting like prey) to Meeko actively stalking him.
The worst part, to me, is that Meeko will actually come looking for me, asses my ability to respond quickly, ie. when I'm using the toilet, and take advantage of the situation to attack Freddie.
This came to head about 2 weeks ago, when Meeko attacked Freddie with me right there, I looked away, to look in a bag, and he was on Freddie in an instant.
They have been in separate rooms since then, except when Freddie asks to initiate contact.
I NEVER take my eyes off them, and stay VERY close to Freddie, but it's not getting any better, and I think Freddie has finally had enough.
I have been crying non stop for two weeks, I've bonded with Meeko and I just love the kitty he is with me, but Freddie chose me at Petco, he jumped into my arms while Bittersweet Symphony was playing, and he looks like Saber.
Are you absolutely sure he isn't doing it in play? Is there hissing or other angry vocalization? Has Meeko actually drawn blood? How does Freddie react? My Mickey hissed at Dusty for a couple of days after we got him. They've been OK since. They do play rough, a little less so as time goes on. One of them will stalk, chase and pounce. Sometimes they get into (for lack of a better word) kind of 69 position, kick each other's faces with their back feet, and yes, bite each other's necks. I don't like the face kicking too much because I worry about their eyes, but no one gets hurt. He waits till your busy because he knows you'll tell him to stop, but I'm not sure he's really out to get Freddie. I hope not anyway!
There's no hissing or growling, the only sounds are from Freddie squealing and yelping/crying when Meeko is on him or has swatted his flank.
If they were playing or feeling each other out before, it seems to be escalating and turning for the worse.
When this first started I would yell at Meeko "Meeko-no" and he would run off.
When it got more frequent and rougher I started putting them in separate rooms for awhile but as soon as I let them back together Meeko would go after him again immediately.
Of course it will be all my fault that they aren't friends.
Meeko has also been deliberately peeing on the wall near the litterbox.
He will squat then stand up enough to get the wall. So now when he goes to use a box (there are three in the house)I stand there and watch him and push his butt back down if he starts to spray.
I've been trying to make decisions based on Freddies actions and reactions.
He was wanting to be with Meeko again, now he stays near me, looks to see if Meeko is in the room, won't come on the bed if Meeko is on it (they used to sleep on the bed on opposite sides or body parts of me) and only really seems to relax when I have Meeko zipped into his pop-up kennel.
It could be a territory dispute but I haven't been connected to the internet at home so hopefully Saturday I can find out if there is a way to better set up the house even though they both have their own areas (to my way of thinking)
Even if they did, I'm sure Meeko, at least, would try to have it all.
Even I have become more of a pawn than a mom to him lately.
I spend hours alone with him in my room, brushing him, playing with him etc. doesn't matter.
He's been better behaved when I put him in the living room at night to sleep alone.
But he will come to the bedroom door and cry, and it is heartbreaking, he trills and coos, but as soon as the door is open, make a silent b-line for Freddie. Usually I wait for him to quiet down then I'll go out to him and lay down with him or we'll play with the turbotrack.
I absolutely don't trust him to sleep in the same room with Freddie and some nights Freddie won't come into my room if Meeko is already there.
Actually, anytime he is not near Freddie he is looking for him and then makes a b-line at his flank.
Unless it is one-on-one time, I always let Freddie join us if he shows that he wants too.
Freddie vocalizes more now and seems guarded, I don't want him to live in fear, it will change him.
I'm so sorry Lean, This must be heart breaking. I have no suggestions but wanted to let you know I'm sad for you. You have not had the best of luck with your cats this year. Hope somebody can offer you some help.
I'm sorry too. And I hope someone with more experience than me will answer! I know Meeko's issues make this a little more complicated, maybe not as typical. If he hasn't hurt Freddie, though, I think that's a good sign. If he wanted to, he would. Normally time will calm things down somewhat. My Patty despised Mickey when we got him and he pretty much always had a scratch on his nose for the first year. Now I can't remember the last time she's actually touched him. She still screams and air-swats at him if he comes too close, same with the kitten, but she's never touched him once. They eat meals together peaceably, and sometimes sit a lot nearer to each other than she would have tolerated before.
Maybe you could take turns letting them sleep with you. And just be obsessively even-handed with them for awhile. They'll probably both still think it's not enough, but that's all you can do. Meekos was there first, and he's probably still adjusting to the surprise of an intruder. I think that's why Patty's been easier on the kitten compared to Mickey. When Mickey came, it had never dawned on her another cat could come into the house. I would have thought a 3rd cat would send her over the edge (he came in supposedly just until we could find him a home). But she took another cat more in stride, I think because she'd adjusted to the idea that was possible. I know you're still working on Meeko's issues, but I'm hoping for you that he'll get used to the "new normal" of a two-cat household with time.
I just thought, when we first got Mickey, I found both of these books at the library. I think one was more useful, two years later I don't remember which. Both had some good ideas though. Yes, entire books devoted to helping two cats get along!
A few thoughts from me - for what they are worth. Fortunately I haven't had this problem myself! But knowing the bit that I do about cat behavior this is where I would start. The book suggestions are good ones - learn what you can always.
For me, I would rather re home trying to make someone happy then have them live with me and be un happy. However this is a very tough choice for everyone and you have to come to that on your own. I know the trouble that Meeko has and it won't be easy
Some cats are just better in one cat environments. It's just their style. That being said - It's possible Meeko IS trying to play and not hurt (as stated before) maybe he just lacks manners and know-how? I think your good-intentioned alone time and extra attention to him may be re-enforcing the problem here though. If not spending time with Freddie is what Meeko wants, well he has found a sure fire way to get it. Be an ass and get mom alone - cats are very smart.
Get some Fel-away cat hormone and see if it settles down the crew. The plug in's are a good way to go vs. the spray can - you may need more than one for your size living space. It may take a day or two to start working.
My cats HATE canned air! The kind you clean computers and stuff with. Get a can or two keep them handy. When a fight breaks out - shoot at them. It doesn't hurt them - just noisy. I dislike spray water (but I do use it) because you can get it in the ears and eyes Air is harmless. If that's not enough get the air horns!!
Don't coddle the trouble maker. If you can't get along - then be on your own. Try a bit a tough love for a bit and see how that works out. May take awhile for the new message to get through. If he makes trouble when you are with Freddy push Meeko down and away, let him come back and try again. Keep at it.
I'll see if I can get those books today from the library.
Last night I decided to intervene less, hoping that Freddie wouldn't pay too high a price.
I have a tall cat tree/scratcher in a corner right next to a window along a wall in the bedroom.
The home is typical mobile home, long rectangle, so the cats will run from one end, (the top of the refrigerator, through the living room, down the hall, into the bedroom, up onto a table , then Freddie jumps into the top of the cat tree, where he sleeps most of the time, with Meeko right on top of him.
This is where I intervene because I've caught Meeko more than once on top of Freddie (de-clawed front paws) where Freddie is on his back with Meeko lunging at his throat.
Once Freddie was holding him off with his outstretched front leg.
The initial behavior that put me on alert, so to speak, was that Meeko will jump onto the middle of the cat tree where there are scratching posts (when Freddie is not there) and scratch himself into a bigger frenzy.
Then he runs off to find Freddie.
I'm at McDonalds and my contractor is on his way to my "house", so more from me later.
We did all sleep in the same room last night, and whenever the chase led to the cat tree Meeko stopped, looked at me and then did not follow Freddie onto the tree.
I have two cats who beat the crap out of each other constantly. They get really rough with each other & I sometimes break them up. I always worry about the rear paw kicks to the face & head as I certainly don't want scratched eyes.
Even though they are rough about it, if I let them go, one will eventually walk away appearing disinterested in continuing. My guide as of late has been:
Are their ears back, do they hiss, caterwaul, growl, raise the hair on their backs, etc? So they're showing no signs of real anger or aggression. The answer is consistently no to all of those questions. In my mind, this tells me that these kitties are play fighting, just a little rougher than I would like to see but that's basically what is. They lock onto each other's throats, bite each others legs, paws, ears, etc. But never any blood, just clumps of fur on the floor & in their mouths.
Beyond this, I don't know what to tell you. This is just my experience.
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