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If I had some pet that turned out to be a prissy turd, I would roll my eyes and not like it at all, but I would never dump them.
You sign on to take responsibility for a life. Now you do it.
Now if it is biting the crap out of everyone and unprovokedly attacking, that's a different story. But, aw...everything isn't going exactly MY WAY...are you kidding me? Nut up!
I'm pretty sure you're trolling, and if not, you have no understanding of animal behavior or felines in general. You will never understand the love of animals for who they are, and I'm glad I'm not one of your children.
OP- I personally think you are a jerk. And that was putting it nicely. You want to control the cat and even said "I OWN YOU". Who the hell do you think you are??? Yes, technically the cat is your property but they are living creatures with feelings. Your attitude thoroughly disgusts me. People like you are why there are so many cats being euth'd in shelters. You brought the cat home so accept the responsibility. Don't just discard it because the cat didn't do as wanted. How would you feel if you were just passed from home to home with no one accepting you the way you are? That's exactly what you are doing to these poor cats and each time they get passed to a new home destroys their spirit a little more because no one wants them. I'm going to stop now just because of the fact that you have me seriously ticked off and it's getting hard not to curse you out.
I have one who I've had since she was born. Found a pregnant stray outside. Once the babies were born, found homes for all except momma and the runt of the litter so I kept them both. The runt, Priscilla, is now 5 years old and has never liked being picked up. She runs as soon as someone comes in the house. After awhile she will come out but keep her distance. Yet she is the first to come running up to me and lick my arm if I'm crying. She is the first one to jump on the bed when I lay down. She won't go near my husband but will lay next to me and snuggle for a few until she's ready to go sleep by herself somewhere. She meows her hello when I enter a room she's in or she comes in a room I'm in. She'll come up to me for pets when she feels like it as long as I don't attempt to pick her up. Doesn't happen often but sometimes she'll choose to climb in my lap for a few minutes. We have an understanding. I respect her feelings and the boundaries she has. She's a good girl who just simply doesn't want to be picked up. I'm not going to kick her out of my house because of that. She's not here to be controlled. She's here so she can live her life and be happy. If she was at a kill shelter, she would be one of the first ones to be put to sleep because of her behavior. With me, she's safe.
And pets are like children. They can't speak for themselves. They need us to speak for them. They need us to provide them with the care they need. They rely on us just like kids rely on parents to take care of them. And they need love. They may not want it they way you want to show it but they still need it in their own way. As a responsible and caring person, it's your job to figure out how that is. Not just give up on them and kick them out the house.
[quote=amberlina26;35102013]OP- She's a good girl who just simply doesn't want to be picked up. I'm not going to kick her out of my house because of that. She's not here to be controlled. She's here so she can live her life and be happy. If she was at a kill shelter, she would be one of the first ones to be put to sleep because of her behavior. With me, she's safe.
OP- I personally think you are a jerk. And that was putting it nicely. You want to control the cat and even said "I OWN YOU". Who the hell do you think you are??? Yes, technically the cat is your property but they are living creatures with feelings. Your attitude thoroughly disgusts me. People like you are why there are so many cats being euth'd in shelters. You brought the cat home so accept the responsibility. Don't just discard it because the cat didn't do as wanted. How would you feel if you were just passed from home to home with no one accepting you the way you are? That's exactly what you are doing to these poor cats and each time they get passed to a new home destroys their spirit a little more because no one wants them. I'm going to stop now just because of the fact that you have me seriously ticked off and it's getting hard not to curse you out.
I have one who I've had since she was born. Found a pregnant stray outside. Once the babies were born, found homes for all except momma and the runt of the litter so I kept them both. The runt, Priscilla, is now 5 years old and has never liked being picked up. She runs as soon as someone comes in the house. After awhile she will come out but keep her distance. Yet she is the first to come running up to me and lick my arm if I'm crying. She is the first one to jump on the bed when I lay down. She won't go near my husband but will lay next to me and snuggle for a few until she's ready to go sleep by herself somewhere. She meows her hello when I enter a room she's in or she comes in a room I'm in. She'll come up to me for pets when she feels like it as long as I don't attempt to pick her up. Doesn't happen often but sometimes she'll choose to climb in my lap for a few minutes. We have an understanding. I respect her feelings and the boundaries she has. She's a good girl who just simply doesn't want to be picked up. I'm not going to kick her out of my house because of that. She's not here to be controlled. She's here so she can live her life and be happy. If she was at a kill shelter, she would be one of the first ones to be put to sleep because of her behavior. With me, she's safe.
And pets are like children. They can't speak for themselves. They need us to speak for them. They need us to provide them with the care they need. They rely on us just like kids rely on parents to take care of them. And they need love. They may not want it they way you want to show it but they still need it in their own way. As a responsible and caring person, it's your job to figure out how that is. Not just give up on them and kick them out the house.
OP do you understand that the cats that don't want you to pet them may sense your lack of regard for their feelings and therefor ARE SCARED OF YOU? The other possibility is that they just don't like being petted. The fact that you somehow think they are judging you as "not good enough" to let you pet them is just bizarre. Most people don't get INSULTED by animal behavior. It's really, really strange that you do. I agree with the poster who said you clearly have control issues.
I also wonder if you think if you buy a woman dinner she "owes" you. That kind of thinking is very, very disturbing.
I guess I am a jerk in many people's minds, but I don't respect such boundaries at all. In my house, there are none. I OWN YOU. You're here to fit in with what we're looking for, the kids having you as something cute and furry to pet and love on etc, or else you have no place here. There's no violence or drama involved, other than that one example where I mentioned I actually held the cat in anticipation of my friend's arrival and MADE it tolerate the petting. Even so, ultimately it was given away, because I knew it wouldn't work. Someone else wouldn't mind, and that was the way to go for all concerned.
I did read that "shy cat thread," when that first post said "how many of us would tolerate that," my reply--"I might would maybe for 5 seconds, tops." To me, "don't touch me" is a ridiculous boundary except maybe in exceptional cases (abusive home etc) and it won't fly here. My kids want to touch you and pet you--you LET them, and if you scratch them, you're going to be lucky to even make it out of the house in a single piece, frankly (no such has never actually happened). Certainly if my kids are pulling on its tail or such, then that's different, and I have always taught them not to do any outright teasing or meanness, and if they were to get popped by the cat because of that, well you shouldn't have been mean to it. Petting and holding, though, is not meanness, and any cat that has that as its boundary--oh well. We're not here to view goldfish.
I just don't see the point in having them otherwise, but I guess everyone has different needs or reasons for why they take any pet into their home. I just don't see cats as goldfish, I suppose.
Then you shouldn't be a pet owner. Sorry to be blunt... but you can't control an animal's personality. Maybe if it was a kitten, yes, but not an adult cat.
My cat HATES being held by anyone. She's friendly and will let you pet her, but to pick her up she sounds like she's being murdered. We call her our special girl because she has a lot of health issues. We keep her because we love her and want the best for her. We adopted our cats from a no-kill cat shelter, so being put down was never in her lifetime... but we love her.
Sometimes if you give a cat enough time, they will start to come up to you and even go to sit on your lap one day totally unexpected. When they do that its so much of a treat for me, because i had previously thought they were standoffish.
Some cats that are like that (who do not like to be babied) have a wild personality that they like to do tricks and they amuse you by watching their athletic antics.
If you do want a standoffish cat to come to you, then you have to get a toy like a fishing pole with a feather or bird (toy) and your cat will probably go crazy fun with it! you can tempt them with food.
One thing to remember, if they do come to you, when they are done, you have to let them go on their way ,, otherwise if you try to hold them down, they will not want to come to you - they are a free spirit.
so let them have their independence, but make them come to you with play and food, and they might actually start coming to you and lay on your lap and then you give them a petting or a kitty massage around their neck and then they will go into la la land right on your lap and probably fall asleep even.. its the cutest thing ever. be patient.
About you, OP, do you spend time playing with them? or just doing the drudgery cleanup? you should try playing with them. You probably need to form a loving bond with them, right now they are just your property. Try to find the reward of a cat by playing with them and watching for thier positive qualities.
Or, maybe you are at an age where a cat/kitten is too much work, and maybe it was fun but now its work and therefore, you should probably not be a pet parent. but maybe you have them for the kids. if so, maybe they should get involved with the cleanup more.
next time IF you get a cat, i dont recommend it because their general nature is that of independence. the phrase "The cat owns me" is kinda true. maybe you are over being a cat parent. maybe no pets is right for your household.
but if you do get another pet, spend time with it and get one that is known to be a lap cat.
Last edited by ChicagoMeO; 06-15-2014 at 04:41 PM..
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