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Some of you know me on the forum here and admittedly I haven't been on here a lot in recent months - mostly life issues and such, but this week has been one of the worst for my husband and my furbabies. We have/had 24 kids and the number has varied over time. We have lost several only to regain a few new faces due to finding other little ones who needed homes desperately and us not being able to turn our hearts to stone and say no. Somehow, it works - it just does....
Anyway, two of my oldest and dearest furchildren - Ralphie - who was going to be 16 in August and who had suffered from IBS his entire life - had taken a turn in recent months. We had tried him on steroids, Flagyl, he was on Probiotics, we tried diet changes - and his condition kept deteriorating. He was hungry all the time, he was in pain most of the time, and he spent an inordinate amount of time coming and going to the litter box. I took him back to the doc a week ago Thursday and they did some blood work on him, and gave him a super dose of prednisone and antibiotics, he was dehydrated, he had been passing blood in his stool and was anemic, and his core body temp had dropped into the 90's. They were keeping him propped up with warm blankets and covered with a heating pad to keep him comfortable and I went in to visit with him a few times - spending a couple of hours with him. When I looked into his eyes - I knew what I had to do and even now I can hardly stand how much it hurts. He was still IN THERE when I looked into that sweet face - he stretched his little paws to my hand and pulled my hand toward him and laid his head on my hand. I just laid on him and cried. The vet said he had one or two more things he wanted to check (this was Monday) and we would make a decision later this week. Well, on Monday afternoon when I got home, my oldest gal, Sweetie who was there the day I brought Ralphie home as a baby - and she would be 17 this year, went to the litter box while I was in the sunroom scooping - and there was fresh blood. She has always been tiny - but she has lost more weight recently. She has been hiding, not talking, and had not been eating much either. She had a particularly foul smell to her - I couldn't place it exactly but I had smelled it before. I called the vet and made an appointment to take her in. Well, after examining her and doing some blood work - doc determined she most likely had developed cancer - she had lost 2 pounds and he could feel a small mass in the belly. She was too frail for anything invasive - and I think that explains the foul odor - it was emanating from her. I made the painful decision to let her and Ralphie go together - they had been lifelong friends anyway, and at least they would see each other and have each other one last time. I do believe it was one of the worst days of my life - and that is saying something. I can't believe they are gone - but I told them that I was doing this for them, no more pain, no more hurting. I told them to look for Grandpa (my Dad) who knew them both in life and loved them - I knew he would be there to welcome them. I keep seeing those little faces in my mind's eye - and I haven't had a day yet where I haven't cried most of it. I just needed to share this with someone other than my hubby - he's about as bad as I am...and if I know anything - I do know that there are others here on CD who do understand. As much as it hurts to see them go - what a joy it is to see them come - and it is still so very much worth it to put your heart out there and experience the love and joy they share with us every day - in return for food, shelter, tenderness and a home. I treasured every day I had with them - and I will miss them forever.
(((HUGS))) I am very sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to lose one furbaby let alone two. I wish I had a magic wand to take away your pain. I'm crying right along with you. I am so sorry.
For a change, it's not misusing the word "awesome" to describe what you did for those cat friends. Neither of them would have been done any favors by your going to extreme measures in exchange for a few more days of life. I faced the same decision with Weasie three years ago. Steroids would have slowed her precipitous weight loss from metastasized liver cancer, and she could've even been given pain killers. But somehow through all my denial and separation anxiety I turned down those options. Left to her own devices and with nature in charge, Weasie (aside from rallying amazingly for two days) rapidly went downhill and reached her final decline a mere week and a half after the much-delayed diagnosis. I'll always feel like this was for the best. Buying time would've only meant a short while longer with a miserable cat who probably would have at least somewhat become "zombified" from the medications. As a cat-owned neighbor put it, "Who is that helping?"
Everyone reading this probably heard about the surgeon who was recently murdered where he worked in my city. A statement made at his funeral got stuck in my head - I have a quibble with the choice of adjectives, but that's my problem: "It's a fearful thing to love what death can touch." So true.
I'm very sorry for your losses. I kinda understand what you're going through. I lost my Ash a few months ago and the pain is still very fresh for me, as he considered him my ONLY true friend, as I'm isolated in a state with no family, nor human friends, and going through a divorce. All I can say is, treasure the time you did have together. I'm glad you had a long time with your friends. I had to schedule a home euthanasia for Ash (FIP sadly), and he was not even 3 years old.
Heartbreaking. May I send every bit of condolences to you & those 2 lovely kitties. Lifelong friends is an unbelievable thing to see for so long. I know you too will see them again in the afterlife at Rainbow Bridge. There are so many of our furbabies awaiting there for us, that I almost wish after reading stories as yours, that it was time to join them all. I too, have kitties awaiting me, & hope we all get the chance to be w/ our loved pets very soon & for eternity.
Please take care of yourself as they'd want you to do but remember, they are ALWAYS here in spirit & their loss is really their gain as they leave these earthly carcasses we all travel with here. They are forever unbound from these tiedowns & can really truly experience joy & happiness, far beyond what we could ever envision here on earth. Sorry so corny but it is genuine, heartfelt feelings re what I believe to be very true.
I can well imagine how incredibly hard that was for you to do, letting them go together like that. But it was a wonderful gift you gave them. So very sorry for your loss.
Run free at the Bridge, Sweetie and Ralphie.
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May I send every bit of condolences to you & those 2 lovely kitties. Lifelong friends is an unbelievable thing to see for so long. I know you too will see them again in the afterlife at Rainbow Bridge. There are so many of our furbabies awaiting there for us, that I almost wish after reading stories as yours, that it was time to join them all. I too, have kitties awaiting me, & hope we all get the chance to be w/ our loved pets very soon & for eternity. 
