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It isn't so much the cats the OP doesn't want but the burden of care they require now that the cats are old.
Not quite. The OP has indicated in earlier posts that the cats, while getting older, are still pretty healthy. The OP is just at a different point in his/her life now, and no longer wishes the burden of care that ownership of ANY cat (young or old) imposes. It happens.
The OP has also indicated that the cats aren't going to be rehomed or euthanized, just not replaced when they finally die. So there's really no problem here. The cats are fine, and are going to continue to be fine until their end comes. The OP's original post was just a vent, that's all.
Not quite. The OP has indicated in earlier posts that the cats, while getting older, are still pretty healthy. The OP is just at a different point in his/her life now, and no longer wishes the burden of care that ownership of ANY cat (young or old) imposes. It happens.
The OP has also indicated that the cats aren't going to be rehomed or euthanized, just not replaced when they finally die. So there's really no problem here. The cats are fine, and are going to continue to be fine until their end comes. The OP's original post was just a vent, that's all.
Thank you for understanding, though to be honest I were highly confident I could find them a good home it would be really tempting. You are absolutely correct: it's not so much that they're older now, it's just that my cats prevent me from making some significant changes I'm anxious to make. As I wrote, I can't simplify my living situation to the degree I want.
As I also indicated in my original post, I was also curious if anyone else has ever been in this situation. My mom has always had what I consider to be an unhealthy obsession with pets. This tendency seems to get worse as she ages: Currently she and her boyfriend have about 12 cats! She's 72 and has lots of health issues, he's 81 and relatively healthy (but at that age things can change quickly). I'm completely incredulous why anyone would have so many cats. Of course it's their life; I just don't understand they appeal.
OK, thanks for the understanding, and next time I'll word the title more carefully.
I do think of cats as sort of my family, but, as I wrote earlier, I've also come to understand they aren't people. This is something I think many don't understand. Of course they're living beings with needs and worthy of compassion, but at the same time I think many cats owners don't understand that we're usually more attached to them than they are to us.
If my cats were transferred to another good caretaker who also looked after their needs, they'd probably mostly forget about me in fairly short order. This is probably true for the vast majority of cats. The truth is we're probably more attached to cats than they are to us. With dogs the feelings are, if not mutual, then at least somewhat more comparable.
When I would leave my elderly semi-feral cat with my housemate (whom she adored), she would scream for 3 days straight. Nothing changed in her routine - she just didn't have me. When I'd come back, she'd glue herself to me for another few days.
My Siamese used to throw himself between me and anything he perceived as a threat, screaming and hissing. He attacked several people (all of who he knew very well) who had the bad luck to poke their heads into my room while I was sleeping.
I'm a dog person, but my cats have been just as loyal and devoted as my dogs.
Last edited by JrzDefector; 02-12-2015 at 09:34 PM..
Not quite. The OP has indicated in earlier posts that the cats, while getting older, are still pretty healthy. The OP is just at a different point in his/her life now, and no longer wishes the burden of care that ownership of ANY cat (young or old) imposes. It happens.
The OP has also indicated that the cats aren't going to be rehomed or euthanized, just not replaced when they finally die. So there's really no problem here. The cats are fine, and are going to continue to be fine until their end comes. The OP's original post was just a vent, that's all.
I was suggesting that cats face this situation as they age not that his cats necessarily are experiencing it right now. They may not appear to be show signs of slowing down or illness but when older cats begin to show the aging process it can happen pretty quickly which is why it is more difficult to rehome them if that turns out to be the option chosen.
I didn't say he was going to rehome or euthanize them because I have no idea what his intentions are. I was bringing up scenarios in which the possibilities of what can happen when the decision is made to give them up.
Let's be honest, when someone posts on a forum about cats that they are in a different place about how they feel about their cats, it does sound just a little bit as though they would no longer like to have the cats around which indicates there is a possibility the cats might not be around at some point.
He may be just venting but he also may be looking for support in feeling less guilty should he decide to give the cats up. I don't know that and neither does anyone else. Only he knows for sure. As I said before, I am not judging. People have to do what they feel they must do.
Coincidentally, a friend of mine just emailed me today telling me she is bringing her cat back to the shelter where she adopted her about three years ago. She says she can no longer can handle the burden of owning this cat for various reasons. It's her business. I feel badly for both her and the cat but she feels it's more of a relief than anything else. No matter what though, it's always hard on the cat.
OK, thanks for the understanding, and next time I'll word the title more carefully.
I do think of cats as sort of my family, but, as I wrote earlier, I've also come to understand they aren't people. This is something I think many don't understand. Of course they're living beings with needs and worthy of compassion, but at the same time I think many cats owners don't understand that we're usually more attached to them than they are to us.
If my cats were transferred to another good caretaker who also looked after their needs, they'd probably mostly forget about me in fairly short order. This is probably true for the vast majority of cats. The truth is we're probably more attached to cats than they are to us. With dogs the feelings are, if not mutual, then at least somewhat more comparable.
I must disagree. About 6 years ago, we adopted a shelter cat, I named Marshmallow. He was about 11 years old at the time. His owner had to give him up. she was 93 and going into a nursing home. Marshmallow had been her "baby" since he was born, part of an abandonded litter. She bottle-fed him and raised him. It broke her heart to give him up. I just happened to be volunteering in the shelter and found him, or rather, he found me. I use a cane, and so did his former owner. When he spied the cane, he reached out his paw and batted at me. Something familiar, perhaps Mama had sent me! BTW, he was in the shelter almost a month, and hadn't forgotten his familiar touch-points.
I simply couldn't leave him there, knowing he would probably be put down. Everybody wants a kitten, no one wants an older cat. He was a big, beautiful Black & White Maine Coon, so sweet and gentle, weighted about 18 pounds!
I knew he was happy with us as soon as we brought him home and we bonded instantly. However, he kept sniffing around, like he was still looking for something. Then, one day, he escaped, he got out! I was so saddened. I did everything to find him, flyers, contact shelters, vets, walked the streets, knocked on doors, he had just disappeared. Then, after 10 horrible days, he came home. He just wandered into the kitchen! I was stewing up some turkey parts, the windows were open, and I guess he followed the scent trail. He seemed content to be back with us. However, he first had to tell me all about it. He curled up in my lap and literally cried. He wrapped his giant paws around my neck and made the most mournful cry. This went on for about an hour. Then, finally, he was all cried out and fell asleep next to me. When he woke up, he seemed to have "forgotten" about his first mama. However, from time to time, if I said her name---Esther---he would look around like looking for her.
Sadly, marshmallow passed away ~ 2 years ago from diabetes. He was an old boy and his time had come, but he had 4 wonderful years with us. However, he never truly forgot his first mama. He even spent 10 days looking for his former home. animals feel love, loss, and grief too, those emotions aren't exclusively human!
Thank you for understanding, though to be honest I were highly confident I could find them a good home it would be really tempting. You are absolutely correct: it's not so much that they're older now, it's just that my cats prevent me from making some significant changes I'm anxious to make. As I wrote, I can't simplify my living situation to the degree I want.
As I also indicated in my original post, I was also curious if anyone else has ever been in this situation. My mom has always had what I consider to be an unhealthy obsession with pets. This tendency seems to get worse as she ages: Currently she and her boyfriend have about 12 cats! She's 72 and has lots of health issues, he's 81 and relatively healthy (but at that age things can change quickly). I'm completely incredulous why anyone would have so many cats. Of course it's their life; I just don't understand they appeal.
I haven't been keeping up with this topic but I am very glad you're keeping the cats, as inconvenient as they are at this point in your life.
I actually totally understand how the OP feels about the cats, but I really disagree that this has much to do with CATS at all. I think it's possible to feel this way about anything in your life. I sometimes (definitely not always) feel this way about my family. I joked about my husband... but the reality is, my kids are getting older, I'm feeling the way a mother creature can sometimes when it's nearly time to shoo the boys off and get on with life. Only unlike most animals it's not so I can breed up another litter, it's because I have adult goals I want to pursue for myself. I honestly don't know if, in the long run, I'll stay with my husband or not. It's not a question I'm dealing with today. But I DO know that, as the OP feels some obligation with the cats, whether I like it or not and no matter how restless I get, I have a big obligation to my sons to get the raised and out on their own. Only then can I take some of the risks, pursue some of the ideas, I have cooking in my brain. Sometimes I get restless and it's hard to wait...but I know what the right thing to do is.
Simply because I feel this way about my family doesn't mean I'm likely to up and run away. I know better.
And if I can feel this way, and acknowledge it, about my human family, and not be a terrible person, then certainly OP can feel this way about a couple of old cats, and it doesn't make them a bad person.
Of course I should not have any more kids, and I don't intend to. Of course the OP should not get another cat, and probably won't.
And of course I'm not saying cats and people are the same thing....but I am saying that the feeling OP is having is more about the conflict between that restless readiness to move on to a next phase, and feelings of obligation that they weight in making decisions, and finding a good balance between impulse and responsibility is a very normal human thing. If anything, I salute the OP for being honest with him/herself and with others, about these feelings.
Sonic Spork, I think you hit the nail on the head with your post!
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She's 72 and has lots of health issues, he's 81 and relatively healthy (but at that age things can change quickly). I'm completely incredulous why anyone would have so many cats. Of course it's their life; I just don't understand they appeal.
