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OK, thanks for the understanding, and next time I'll word the title more carefully.
I do think of cats as sort of my family, but, as I wrote earlier, I've also come to understand they aren't people. This is something I think many don't understand. Of course they're living beings with needs and worthy of compassion, but at the same time I think many cats owners don't understand that we're usually more attached to them than they are to us.
If my cats were transferred to another good caretaker who also looked after their needs, they'd probably mostly forget about me in fairly short order. This is probably true for the vast majority of cats. The truth is we're probably more attached to cats than they are to us. With dogs the feelings are, if not mutual, then at least somewhat more comparable.
You're using a psychological defense. No, they wouldn't "forget" about you. Cats might not express their emotions or attachment the same as dogs, but they do get attached to their human mothers and fathers. They get heartbroken just like dogs do.
Being a caretaker and responsible for a living being can bring up past issues/unresolved issues related to dependency and even your own childhood, how you were cared for--maybe you need some therapy to get through this.
You all think I am bad but, that's why people are so unhappy- they hold on to things that doesn't bring them happiness. Suit yourselves, try to enjoy a depressive life you are holding on to. Also, please don't compare children to cats. Some of you said that you hope I don't have children, this was hilarious to me, what kind of people are out there making this comparison.
There's much truth in this, but I think it goes deeper. Some research indicates that some persons think of pet relationships as equivalents to human relationships: This is delusional and unhealthy. Unfortunately this seems largely true with my mom; most interpersonal relationships she's had -esp with her parents- have been so unsatisfying that she treats cats as a substitute.
In terms of 'letting my cats go' I'd really like to, but as I said in good conscience I can't. To me it would be sort of like -but to a much lesser extent- if I had teenage children and just gave them up (if that were legal). I know cats are no where equivalent to people, but I just couldn't give them up unless I knew they would get a good home.
I do get your point though. Right now I think of my cats as children I never should have had. If I had it to do over again I wouldn't have gotten them in the first place.
Please,please don't do this. It is absolutely cruel to give up a pet that has relied on you and bonded with you. I go to a lot of adoption events to shelters we donate food monthly to and every time there is a new cat with the story of an owner that gave them up.....or moved and threw them outside.........It angers and saddens me.
One of my maine coons, Emma was "thrown" out her home because the owner did not want her anymore. Emma got flea infested and very anemic and almost died from being so sick before being rescued. For the last 3 years, we have been her forever home.......and nothing, nothing would ever make give up a pet.
Please don't give them up.......
There's much truth in this, but I think it goes deeper. Some research indicates that some persons think of pet relationships as equivalents to human relationships: This is delusional and unhealthy. Unfortunately this seems largely true with my mom; most interpersonal relationships she's had -esp with her parents- have been so unsatisfying that she treats cats as a substitute.
In terms of 'letting my cats go' I'd really like to, but as I said in good conscience I can't. To me it would be sort of like -but to a much lesser extent- if I had teenage children and just gave them up (if that were legal). I know cats are no where equivalent to people, but I just couldn't give them up unless I knew they would get a good home.
I do get your point though. Right now I think of my cats as children I never should have had. If I had it to do over again I wouldn't have gotten them in the first place.
That's your opinion, formed from whatever personal experiences or observations you've had. But I very much disagree with you, especially the 'unhealthy' part, and that comes from my personal experience. My "unhealthy" relationships with my cats over the last 25 years played a large part in me being a better person overall than I was before. Those "unhealthy" relationships also kept me from sliding down that slippery slope after my wife died. My cats quite literally saved my mental health, on a daily basis, and gave me the emotional therapy I needed.
If I chose to anthropomorphize my relationship with my cats, so be it. You can call it delusional if you want, but don't assume it's unhealthy.
There's much truth in this, but I think it goes deeper. Some research indicates that some persons think of pet relationships as equivalents to human relationships: This is delusional and unhealthy. .
Guess I'm delusional and unhealthy then....... as is my wife.
There's much truth in this, but I think it goes deeper. Some research indicates that some persons think of pet relationships as equivalents to human relationships: This is delusional and unhealthy. Unfortunately this seems largely true with my mom; most interpersonal relationships she's had -esp with her parents- have been so unsatisfying that she treats cats as a substitute.
In terms of 'letting my cats go' I'd really like to, but as I said in good conscience I can't. To me it would be sort of like -but to a much lesser extent- if I had teenage children and just gave them up (if that were legal). I know cats are no where equivalent to people, but I just couldn't give them up unless I knew they would get a good home.
I do get your point though. Right now I think of my cats as children I never should have had. If I had it to do over again I wouldn't have gotten them in the first place.
I am glad I have great relationships with my cats and my dog!
I know I certainly prefer my relationships with them over relationships with certain posters on this thread!!
That's your opinion, formed from whatever personal experiences or observations you've had. But I very much disagree with you, especially the 'unhealthy' part, and that comes from my personal experience. My "unhealthy" relationships with my cats over the last 25 years played a large part in me being a better person overall than I was before. Those "unhealthy" relationships also kept me from sliding down that slippery slope after my wife died. My cats quite literally saved my mental health, on a daily basis, and gave me the emotional therapy I needed.
If I chose to anthropomorphize my relationship with my cats, so be it. You can call it delusional if you want, but don't assume it's unhealthy.
I repped you again.
My relationships with my pets saved my sanity after living with and burying an alcoholic husband. They motivate me, and they make me be a better person. My dog motivates me to exercise by walking, and my cats motivate me to have some down time, put the work away, and just cuddle them. They are the best listeners, know just what to do to make me laugh, and know how to snuggle in when I'm feeling sad or sick.
I don't get that from most people - especially since I live alone most of the time!!!
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