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I'm not a fan of medicating animals; especially not for "emotional problems." I'm sure it's a reaction to the quiet of the house after all the hustle and bustle of years of caregiving, people coming and going, etc. Now I'm basically gone all day and sometimes in the evening, as well, which is why I haven't yet adopted a "needy" dog. But you'd THINK a cat -- you know, the independent pet -- would be fine or at least take comfort in the company of his fellow cat rather than beating up on him! But there's not much I can do about it until I retire. For nine years, he was relatively normal. Has anyone met a cat like this?
This might be it. I have an 18 month old male. He has always been an "attention-seeker." When he was a year old, I started working from home. He was really clingy and annoying the first couple of weeks. I got so annoyed with him sometimes, but then he settled down somewhat.
Now I am getting ready to move. There are boxes everywhere and I am moving stuff around. I noticed some of the clingy behavior coming back and I think it might be because his environment is changing. I put a chair next to my desk so he can sit there while I am working. When he is quiet I make sure to give him positive attention.
Feliway does work. I have to make sure I pack that in my purse for the first day in the new house. He will probably be a bit of a nutcase the first few days, so I will need some extra patience. I guess cats are like people and some do not do well with change. Luckily my other cat is not phased by anything so I only have one stuck to me like glue. I know how annoying this can be. I am resigned to the fact that he is never going to be as easy-going as other cats I have had. That is just his personality.
As I say, it's been nearly two years; if he were going to adjust to the change in his environment, I would think he would have by now! Additionally, I ADORE my other cat (he's a 22-pound Maine Coon; a big, laid-back, lovable Garfield type), and this is putting a wedge between us. I additionally resent the "Velcro" cat for this, as they're both older and the big one could well go before the little one without my having been able to fully enjoy him. Between that and the daily dosing with medication and the frequent "accidents," I sometimes have thoughts no good cat mother should have! I suppose Feliway is worth a try but, if it's a plug-in, won't it affect my other cat, too? If he become any more relaxed, he may expire.
Yes, two years is a long time! Feliway might be worth a try. It won't make your other cat comatose. It is supposed to help them when they are feeling stressed. I used it when I first introduced the male into the house and the female was not accepting him. It might help a little, but it sounds like your kitty needs more than just an aid for temporary stress.
I would definitely consult with your vet to see if the cat's behavior is related to his medical condition. If not, you may have to consult with a "cat whisperer" someone who specializes in cat behavior and cat training. I feel bad for you and your other cat and I hope you can find the source of the behavior.
We have one girl who is very clingy and the other girl is not clingy but she does get the pets she desires.
The girl who is clingy gets picked up and squished in a hug and pet a few times throughout the day.
Most days that is good enough for her but other days she is seeking more physical attention, sometimes she gets it, other times she doesn't.
I haven't taken a shower, cooked, cleaned, or done anything else without at least one of our critters under foot for years.
Sometimes I have two of them and other times I have all three of them. I have learned to step over them without kicking them but it took a while.
Honestly, I think it's just his purr-sonality; the whole reason I adopted him was because the shelter was desperate to get rid of him (I assumed it was the gastronomic issue, but maybe not) and because he meowed at me, LOUD, three times a row, like, 'Help, help, help!" I figured he must be in distress, being abused by someone there, or in dire need of rescuing; little did I know he was just an attention-hog!
He's always been clingy and pushy (he gazes at me adoringly without breaking a stare, which I once found flattering but lately find a little unnerving), but the behavior has increased since our recent loss.
In other words, I seriously doubt if it's a physical issue (and I'm not one to recklessly invite vets to do their worst to my pocketbook by looking for trouble where there doesn't seem to be any). He's perfectly healthy -- and deliriously happy -- as long as he's simply glued to me at all times. Any other ideas???
Knowing your cat better than anyone, you have probably already put your finger on the problem. The separation anxiety evolves from the loss in your house and a house too quiet feels eerie and unfamiliar to him. My cat used to pester me relentlessly when she wanted something but as soon as I figured out whatever 'that' was the clinginess stopped...until the next time she wanted something. Then there were those times when my cat insisted on sleeping next to me in bed, and that was like having a heating pad on high against my arm or back. (Great in January, not so much in August.) Independent one day and clingy the next. You have it 1,000 times worse because the needy part never seems to end. You got a hint of this when you met him in the shelter. Poor kitty. He has an empty "hole" if you will that can only be filled by your touch and attention. Imagine the restful sleep he gets in your lap after battling emotional demons all day long while you're gone. You are the only "familiar" thing left that he loves...not his evil nemesis, Cat #2. (Does this make you feel guilty? Because truly that's not my intent here.) I do not believe that 2 years is too long for emotional scars to last in a cat because cats are relentless and if his needs aren't being met, how's he supposed to know that he should just change his needs? It is what it is. Being in your presence is the only time he feels secure. <sigh>
Not a "fix" by any means, but a couple of suggestions to consider (or laugh at) as you see fit. Do you think it might help if you left the TV on and a couple of your worn t-shirts out for him to lay on while you're away? Now I'm not sure if cats care about the human scent thing like dogs do, but the TV's moving pictures and volume on low do help several cats and birds I know get through the day alone. (I'm catsitting an older tiger boy right now who prefers CBS on 24/7 while his owners are on vacation.) Also, could you call home during the day and let him hear your voice on the speaker? Yes, be one of those annoying cat people, lol.
As you said, it's been 2 years and he hasn't adjusted to the environment so maybe it's time to change up the environment. Just some thoughts...
By jove, Smitten, I think you've got it. Yes, I DO feel guilty -- after all, who complains about being adored??? But I feel bad for my other cat, who's pretty much just ignored now (I can shut us up alone in a room together, but GUESS WHO will be raising the roof on the other side of the door, disturbing our quality time), and it's just a pain. I haven't even tried taking a vacation because a) he's terrified of everyone but me, b) no way could they syringe his dissolved Miralax into his mouth every day, and c) his intestines go haywire if I just look at him cross-eyed, much less leave for a week or board him. I don't have a land line, so no answering machine. I'm too cheap to leave an electronic device on all day, but I suppose it's worth a try. He DOES sleep in my bed, under my covers; in fact, after taking his medicine in the morning, he marches right back there and demands -- INSISTENTLY -- to be tucked in under the covers. Thanks for the suggestions.
And for having such a soft heart for a kitty with hole in his heart; "rehoming" candidate? (just kidding)
Last edited by otterhere; 05-15-2015 at 01:28 PM..
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It is supposed to help them when they are feeling stressed. I used it when I first introduced the male into the house and the female was not accepting him. It might help a little, but it sounds like your kitty needs more than just an aid for temporary stress. 
and I hope you can find the source of the behavior.
) I do not believe that 2 years is too long for emotional scars to last in a cat because cats are relentless and if his needs aren't being met, how's he supposed to know that he should just change his needs? It is what it is. Being in your presence is the only time he feels secure. <sigh>
