One cat (new) ONLY showing aggression when other cats on bed? (dogs, main)
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So Meja, the new cat, is fitting in but showing aggression towards Bud, older cat, ONLY when he's on the bed with us.
So basically: They could be in a room together and she won't do much. Walk past each other, eat closely, same room, nothing. But if she's on the bed and Bud jumps on it, for whatever reason, she immediately hisses and growls at him. And her body language tenses up like she's about to scratch at him if he moves around to whatever side of me she's on (so if she's on my left and he goes around to my left side).
This is causing Bud to, sadly, avoid the bedroom when she's in here. And I love it when he's in here, it's just comforting, but if Meja is in here he just leaves quickly or just stays in another room until she gets out. Like on normal occasions, he'll be in the room now and chilling on a pillow (one I set out for him) while I eat and watch videos. But since she's in here, he's out and she's in the corner of the bed.
To make it worse, it doesn't matter where she is at and where he's at. If he's literally RIGHT under her, but off the bed, she doesn't react. But if he jumps on the upper lefthand corner and she's on the lower righthand, she will immediately hiss and consistently growl at him. She'll eventually stop, but if he moves around, which he will do, she starts up again and again. Even when he's basically avoiding her. Like earlier today, he was sitting on my lap and purring up a storm, but she just stay growling and he eventually left.
So is there anything I can do to stop this? I don't want to coop her up in another room all day everyday, but I can't sit around having her scaring Bud off all the damn time just because he wants to chill on the bed with me. At this point, all I can do is kick her out if she won't stop while Bud keeps coming in, which tells me he really wants attention, but feel it's scaring her as well because she's pretty timid and doing so makes her hole herself up in the closet of the other "cat room".
I feel that we should always make our original cat our main priority, and defend them 100%. They were there first and didn't ask for this new intruder to come into "their" home.
I would do several things. I would scold your new cat for the aggression, when it happens, and if that didn't work, I would temporarily keep the new cat from coming into the bedroom, so Bud can relax and not feel attacked. After a while, your new cat might get the message, and also, in time, will become maybe more accepting of Bud and leave him alone.
This is one of the main reasons I keep Mama Cat at our shop and Lucky and Daisy at our home. Mama would monopolize my attention and not take to other cats well, because she has lived as a feral for so many years. I could not do that to Lucky and Daisy, so I keep them in separate locations.
I would plug some Feliway in the bedroom. Keep a toy nearby for when she jumps up and distract her with that. Or if you see her coming to jump up, get the toy out and prevent her from jumping up.
You could also make it a place where she is not allowed if you want to let Bud have access. If he's an older guy he may appreciate being separated from her during the night.
I'll try it. Though what they're doing now is a clear example of my confusion with her behavior.
Like right now, both cats are in the same room. Doors open, so neither cat has to be in there with each other and can come and go as they please. I hear no growling or hissing, no fighting, and check on them periodically to find they usually just moved around. But they're both calm. Mejas just napping right about now, Bud is preoccupied with looking out the window.
Also, for some odd reason, Bud has been going out of his way to be NEAR Meja, despite her objections to him. I have no idea why, maybe super friendly, but that's what he's been doing. Though I have had to kick her out the room more than once now. She's somehow decided that since she can't keep him off the bed, she'll try and keep him out the room altogether. So when I put her off the bed for growling, she decided to sit in front of the door and growl/hiss at him whenever he entered the room. Since I got irritated with it, I picked her up and took him out but not before she let out one final, and disturbing sounding, growl as she went over him.
You'd think she'll be this way regardless of location, but nope. Just my bedroom. Otherwise she pretty much ignores Bud or she'll hiss at him once and he walks away.
Does Meja do the same thing if you are not in the bedroom, or on the bed? She's either being territorial (of the bed), or possessive (of you), and could make a difference on what to do about it.
But I totally agree with Don above, about giving preference/priority to your senior boy. If he wants on the bed with you, make sure he can do so.... whether Meja likes it or not. And don't let her run him off of it. Hopefully she'll eventually learn to share space.
Does Meja do the same thing if you are not in the bedroom, or on the bed? She's either being territorial (of the bed), or possessive (of you), and could make a difference on what to do about it.
But I totally agree with Don above, about giving preference/priority to your senior boy. If he wants on the bed with you, make sure he can do so.... whether Meja likes it or not. And don't let her run him off of it. Hopefully she'll eventually learn to share space.
Catdad7x always has good recommendations.
Always show deference to the cat you've had the longest...it's only fair.
Let new cat learn to adjust...
Does Meja do the same thing if you are not in the bedroom, or on the bed? She's either being territorial (of the bed), or possessive (of you), and could make a difference on what to do about it.
But I totally agree with Don above, about giving preference/priority to your senior boy. If he wants on the bed with you, make sure he can do so.... whether Meja likes it or not. And don't let her run him off of it. Hopefully she'll eventually learn to share space.
I think it's either a little bit of both, but mostly possessiveness.
Reason being is put her off the bed, mostly because she moved closer to me and went at Bud who didn't want to move. So I shook my blanket to get her off the bed and kept her off it. In which case she moved across the room and began to just growl at Bud from there. She shut up once he walked out but the second he tried to come back in, she started up and that's when I noticed she had moved to where she was basically directly at the front of the door.
I got pretty pissed since Bud tried to just walk around her and she tilted herself and put a paw half up, like she would go at him if he did. So I picked her up and put her out completely and thats when she opened her mouth and made a growl/meow noise at him.
She somewhat growls at him (a little one timer I've noticed) when I'm in the other room with both of them, but not when that room is the living/dining room, bathroom, or kitchen. It's just the "cat room" or my bedroom, more so my bedroom though. Otherwise she's fine. She also barely comes in the bedroom, and won't touch the bed, if Buds on it first.
Not sure how long your cats have been together. It sounds mild compared to the all-out war we had when we got our last cat! I thought things would never work out, but they did. Time seems to cure a lot of problems. I try to remember dogs on chains. If they get put in the front yard for the first time, they bark at every car. With time, they don't bark at any. The situation hasn't changed. The dog has. If one cat is approaching the other, that's a good sign. Sometimes we snap our fingers at growling cats, but not right next to them. It seems to break their little kitty trances. It doesn't always work. Best.
We have had this between Izzi and ChaCha for several months now. Who is boss? The situation is different from bed, living room, food, brushing, … . All get talked to in the same tone of voice, get their brushings with the same brushes and if issues get past the boundaries there is a talking to of the guilty party.
I think so far the best recommendation might be the plug-in Feliway. It's worth a try. Sounds like Meja thinks the bedroom, on the bed, is the power position and she's going for it. I wonder if you could find a place that's hers? My cat spends the mornings in "the office" with my husband and at night she curls up on me while we watch TV. She's found the moments when we're each most still and accessible. If you only have one time and place like that, you may have to create one for Meja or it's up to you to make everyone comfortable in the bedroom at the same time. Take the advice to distract her rather than trying to discourage her behavior. Try not to let Bud run off at the first sign of attitude from her.
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