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I know, I know... there's no true "average" when we talk about something like grief.
Our 14 year-old cat died last month. All of us took it hard, but my husband and 9 year old child took it hardest. Neither one wants to even think about adopting another pet. My 7 year-old and I are almost ready to adopt. We're obviously still sad about losing our cat, but there are so many animals out there that need homes and I have a nice warm house that feels too empty.
If you've lost a pet, how long did it take you before you adopted another?
Back in the early 90's I had to put what was then my all-time favorite cat to sleep. Me and one of my sisters did it one Thanksgiving, and I was the last thing she ever saw.
I cried a lot that day, and was very sad for some while afterwards. I remember going to a cat show with a friend some number of months afterwards, and there was a cat who looked just like my deceased cat, and I started crying.
Give it time. You'll never really get over it, but you can eventually deal with it.
We lost our little girly on Nov 8 after 16 years. I don’t think we’ll ever get over her being gone. We plan on getting another family member right after the holidays. The house is too quiet now and we need a new family member to keep us busy and keep our home lively. So we’re already
looking. Nothing will replace our Baby Ruthie.
I know, I know... there's no true "average" when we talk about something like grief.
Our 14 year-old cat died last month. All of us took it hard, but my husband and 9 year old child took it hardest. Neither one wants to even think about adopting another pet. My 7 year-old and I are almost ready to adopt. We're obviously still sad about losing our cat, but there are so many animals out there that need homes and I have a nice warm house that feels too empty.
If you've lost a pet, how long did it take you before you adopted another?
It's really up to each individual to know when they are ready to adopt again. Then there are some folks who resist getting another pet out of fear and dread of the downside to loving an animal you're going to outlive. It's understandable, of course, but tends to prolong the feeling of loss and grief IMO. I always advise to follow your heart, and give another deserving pet a home as soon as you feel it's right. I truly believe if you could ask the departed pet, they would tell you "thanks for the wonderful life you gave me, now do the same for another one".
Totally varies. My mom got 2 cats within a week of losing her last cat. I waited 6 years because I had our 3rd child and didn't want to deal with a new cat and a new baby (plus all the poop)! Then it was a wait until the right one found us.
We had three cats when we lost our Tucker to cancer. I waited 3 weeks and then "something" told me to visit the local shelter. The next day, husband and I went home with a kitten.
I don't think husband was entirely ready to adopt, but once he was in the room and saw this kitten, his eyes lit up and I know it was meant to be.
The bottom line is that grief affects everyone differently. A month isn't a very long time to grieve, so if your whole family isn't on board, it's best to wait.
I am still grieving over my furbabies that I lost over 20 years ago. It never goes away but as James Bond said, you don't get over it but you learn to deal with it.
When I lost the first 2 of the "Fab Four"-Swatcha & Bear, I didn't adopt another. But, when I lost the 3rd-Sheena, I was only left with Brandy. She needed a feline companion. I TRIED to wait but I don't think I even lasted 2 weeks before we were off to the Humane Society. Enter my Electra. She helped fill that hole that was left in my heart when I lost Sheena (not to mention Swatcha & Bear). Brandy & Electra got along ok-but they really weren't buddy-buddy. Brandy was just old and ornery by that time and Electra was just a baby.
Since that time, we have always had at least 2-at times 3 cats. Andy came to live with us before we lost Brandy. (The two of them HATED each other and fought like crazy at first. They finally learned to tolerate each other.) When we lost Brandy at 18 years, it was a few years before Elvira joined the family in 2006. We lost Andy about 6 months later and only had the 2 until 5 years ago when Josette joined us.
We lost Gambo in early September. It was hard for us, especially I was a total mess. A day later I donated his stuff (cans, medicine, some toys etc) to a local small rescue. The lady showed me some cute kittens that were just born but I told her we are not nearly ready, in case that was her intention. She then mentioned in a side sentence a Russian Blue that needs a home, who is in foster. She was adopted once but is not getting along with other cats. She is now separated in a bathroom. Not an option- but I didn’t really forget about the little girl being isolated in small bathroom .... We waited for the ashes to come back and a week later I called the lady if we can meet the cat she mentioned. We met at the foster home, the cat is between 2-4 (two vets, two ages) and she was beautiful in her way, and scared, and I just cried because I felt like I am betraying Gambo. I didn’t want to take her but hubby said yes. So We took her home to see how she works with my allergies. This has been 2 months ago.
This little cat helped so much. I cried a lot when I looked at her the first days. She is so different, but she is wonderful in her own way. We are starting to really grow together and build memories, she makes more and more progress and wants now to be with us and starting to trust us. Do I have the same feelings like I had for Gambo? Hell no! I think that takes time. But We appreciate her, and we enjoy her happy little soul. She is trying so hard and gives a lot. We really start to love her. She is making us laugh and i am happy she is with us. In the first weeks, If someone would have given me Gambo back, I would have returned her in a second. Now, I think that he had a good life. I miss him every day, but it’s time to move on and give her a chance.
We just scattered the ashes last week... I cried hard, I didn’t expect that to be honest, but it also felt like I let him free to watch over us in the future.
I wasn’t sure if we should get a similar cat or different one. We are very happy with her being so different. Makes it easier for me to “not compare”. We had he, now she. Red and white fluffy long hair vs now grey shorthair. 14 lbs vs 8 lbs.
Good luck. It will take time but I strongly believe that a new furry friend will make it easier (at least it worked for us)
Last edited by Jackiemohro; 11-13-2019 at 06:06 PM..
I know, I know... there's no true "average" when we talk about something like grief.
Our 14 year-old cat died last month. All of us took it hard, but my husband and 9 year old child took it hardest. Neither one wants to even think about adopting another pet. My 7 year-old and I are almost ready to adopt. We're obviously still sad about losing our cat, but there are so many animals out there that need homes and I have a nice warm house that feels too empty.
If you've lost a pet, how long did it take you before you adopted another?
I'm sorry to hear about your cat. Mine died too earlier this year a few months before she turned 15. She and I were very close, but surprisingly I took her passing very well and I adopted a kitten 8 weeks later in May. I actually wasn't planning to get another cat so soon, but that's just the way things turned out and I'm happy with that. There's no rush though. You're right that there are other animals out there that need homes, but there will still be animals in need of homes when your other family members are ready to get another.
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