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That is his safe spot. He's wicked cute, though, and if it's only the two of you he might come around eventually (if neutered). I wonder if the catnip didn't mellow him enough to play with that wand. You might get somewhere using it.
Try Rescue Remedy in his water all the time. No one thing is going to be a magic bullet, but there are a few things to add together to help the little guy out.
I brought in a 10-year old male to be a companion to my 18-year female. Long story short: he was a scaredy cat. I had him confined to the second level for 2 days (he hid mostly but would come out a little when I just sat there and talked to him). 3rd day introduced him to the first level along with my 18-year old. He hid mostly. I should have left good enough alone but I was tired of sleeping on the love-seat so the 4th or 5th day I introduced him to the sleeping loft. Now he had 3 levels in which to hide. It took a week's worth of Amitriptylin (to reduce stress) and a whole month for him to come around.
It has been 6 months and he is still settling in - he doesn't hide but if something spooks him he is off like a bat out of hell up to the second level or the sleeping loft.
I did not even have to read far to understand the issue; you just got home and let him out as if he is cool with everything, and will have no issues.
The issues he has just built on top of each other.
Basically, the introduction went wrong.
Yes, some cats you can just let on go in the house, issue is you have to assess first. The best thing was to keep him in a room, let him chill, and introduce yourself to him.
I wasn’t gone more than ten minutes. It might not have been the smartest thing, but I just let him out quickly while I changed. I figured he’d be easing out of the crate or gingerly checking things out, not making a beeline for a hole I didn’t know existed.
He is playing with his toys more and has messed up the placemats, curtains, etc. He isn’t getting out when I’m there yet, but I hear him and it’s obvious he’s out and doing more.
I wasn’t gone more than ten minutes. It might not have been the smartest thing, but I just let him out quickly while I changed. I figured he’d be easing out of the crate or gingerly checking things out, not making a beeline for a hole I didn’t know existed.
He is playing with his toys more and has messed up the placemats, curtains, etc. He isn’t getting out when I’m there yet, but I hear him and it’s obvious he’s out and doing more.
Honestly, the best thing you can do is let him have his space and leave him alone right now. Talk to him, let him know you are there and go about your life but let him get used to you on his time. Do not approach him, let him come to you and he will with patience and time. Give him really yummy wet food at the same place and time everyday. Soon he will learn you bring him good things. Gradually, he will know you are his very good friend and he will love you to death, but he needs to find that out without you pushing yourself on him.
This method has always worked for me with dogs as well as cats. Cats especially need time to trust you.
Last edited by marino760; 12-08-2019 at 07:08 PM..
That is great news that he is out and about, even if you aren't there!
I don't know if this will encourage or depress you, but I adopted two "fraidy cats" from a shelter over two years ago. One was labeled a "cat" cat, and the other was a "people and cat" cat. Since I have a quiet household, I brought both home, figuring they'd be good company and ease into life. I put each in their own room for about a week, and one definitely wanted out to see me (the "people and cat" cat). After a day with me, I put her in the room with the "cat" cat, who had squirreled herself away in the closet and buried herself and never came near me at all when I came in - even sitting with a book." After about another week, I opened the door and they came out on their own. It took almost a year before I could even briefly pet the most skittish one, and then it was really not fun for her. After about 18 months, although she was still really skittish, if I didn't move and just held my hand down to her, she would come over and let me briefly pet her. As of year #2, she will briefly hop on the sofa with me and let me pet her. What is great, though, is that the two of them will chase each other and play, and she can see me interacting with the other cat.
All that to say, if you are not there a lot - getting a buddy may be helpful so they can entertain themselves and socialize while you're away. As others have said, you don't know what he went through before you found him. If you have patience, you will have done a great deed giving him a good home and hopefully have a friend for many years to come.
My gma adopted a feral girl and it took a LONNNNNNNNNNNNNNG time for her to stop hiding. When she did, she was a great companion. OMG, the bond between her and my Gma.
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