Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Not saying I'm perfect here, but I woke up to go to the restroom in the middle of the night, saw him on the vanity, and picked him up to get him out of the bedroom. I wasn't thinking he would totally go off like that.
You pick up an unsuspecting cat and expect no reaction. Her is not used to getting picke dup.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation
I didn't expect a pre-fab cuddle bug that would be in my lap all the time, but wasn't expecting a month of hiding under my kitchen cabinets either. I have not seen him (without having to get in the floor and take a picture/video of him in the hole) in over two weeks now. He has dragged a couple more toys back in there and he does appear to be making some minor progress on playing.
He found a safe place and you intrude it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation
I want him to come out, interact, and start socializing. The "eat, poop, hide in a hole" thing is getting old.
You want is the key here. Who cares what he wants?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation
If he was under a bed or somewhere that I could physically get to him, I wouldn't be so frustrated. It's not like I just get him to go into the next room and then slowly introduce myself to him. I feel like there is nearly no progress, and until I can get to him, I can't do a thing about any of it.
He knows that you will drag him out from under the bed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation
He's not hurting anything by being there. With that said, I'm not home a lot. Last week was rough. I worked until 9 two nights. I didn't get home until about 9 Friday night, and was gone most of the day Saturday and Sunday.
Sounds like you answer your own questions - you are not there but expect things to happen.
I talk to him when I'm making dinner and throughout the evening. I'm not sure if he could even see sitting outside the hole in the floor.
I'm certain living in a hole in the floor is not his idea of an ideal way to live, but you started out on the wrong foot by forcing yourself on him and now he has that impression of you, not knowing if you intend to hurt him.
Right now it's the best he can do given he's probably torn between wanting to trust you and and not wanting to be hurt by you. What you did by pulling him out because it's what you want was probably one of the worst introductions you could have given him.
Please give it time, lot's of time and he will come around as long as you don't try to pull him out of his safe space again whether it be a hole in the floor, somewhere under a bed or anywhere else.
Yeah, I don't think most ferals play much, so that is a good thing. Also knowing you talk to him when you're home is great. He knows what you sound like, and knows it's you since it's not like you bring home a football team, just you and him and you talking to him.
I don't want to carry on about it, but being neutered would help, too, in that his aggression would be less. But I wouldn't give up so soon. He isn't properly socialized and if he was, he'd be miserable with you gone all the time. As it is, at least he has time to get used to his new home a bit and if you ever see him outside his hole, just keep talking to him. If you were home more, you might be further along, but he accepted the toys and he knows you and eventually he'll know you're not going to harm him.
If you gave him back, he'd be worse off starting over in another home.
I'm certain living in a hole in the floor is not his idea of an ideal way to live, but you started out on the wrong foot by forcing yourself on him and now he has that impression of you, not knowing if you intend to hurt him.
Right now it's the best he can do given he's probably torn between wanting to trust you and and not wanting to be hurt by you. What you did by pulling him out because it's what you want was probably one of the worst introductions you could have given him.
Please give it time, lot's of time and he will come around as long as you don't try to pull him out of his safe space again whether it be a hole in the floor, somewhere under a bed or anywhere else.
He was never "pulled out" of anywhere. I've seen him out of there a couple of times. Each time he's been out, he's ventured out on his own accord.
He immediately ran into the hole within ten minutes or so of me opening the pet taxi. I suspected he would gingerly venture out, coolly checking the room out, while I went from jeans and a coat to shorts in my own home. It's not like I was gone all day, or even half an hour. No more than five or ten minutes. He found those holes quickly and made a beeline for them.
Keep in mind I was under the impression the cat was socialized. The agency rep sort of sold him as a sweet cuddlebug at the adoption event. Within minutes of coming in here, he hides and his behavior since shows he is mostly, if not completely, feral. If I had any clue he was feral, I wouldn't have just casually let him out. There's no way I would have known about the gaps under the cabinets. You can't see them unless you are lying prone on the floor. I have no reason to do that.
The big negative reaction was when he was in my bedroom the first week and jumped on the vanity. I did the horror of attempting to pick him up to gently put in in the floor and get him out of the bedroom. It was the middle of the night. I was tired. I was going on autopilot from every other cat I've had. I got ripped up for it.
I get the impression some folks are blaming me for this, but I had no reason to believe the cat wasn't socialized. Sure, I didn't make the perfect moves, but I wasn't expecting to be bringing a feral cat home. What's irritating me now is that he's holed up somewhere where I can't really do anything about it. I can't get him out. I can't take him to the vet. I'm at his mercy.
Yeah, I don't think most ferals play much, so that is a good thing. Also knowing you talk to him when you're home is great. He knows what you sound like, and knows it's you since it's not like you bring home a football team, just you and him and you talking to him.
I don't want to carry on about it, but being neutered would help, too, in that his aggression would be less. But I wouldn't give up so soon. He isn't properly socialized and if he was, he'd be miserable with you gone all the time. As it is, at least he has time to get used to his new home a bit and if you ever see him outside his hole, just keep talking to him. If you were home more, you might be further along, but he accepted the toys and he knows you and eventually he'll know you're not going to harm him.
If you gave him back, he'd be worse off starting over in another home.
The problem is that he won't come out. It's been nearly a month. The original plan was to take him to the vet the Friday after I got him, as Fridays are the best for me from a scheduling perspective. That never happened. The diarrhea cleared up quickly with a diet change, and I'm keeping him to every other day wet now. Other than that, he could be extremely sick or a picture of health. I have no clue because I never see him.
A couple weeks ago when he was in the tub, he did let me touch him with the ski glove on and showed no aggression. That was a far cry from where he was the previous Thursday where he tore me to hell. One thing I noticed that I found a little weird was when I did a big breakfast fry up that Saturday morning, the sausage smell seemed to get him interested to the point he'd meow at me, I'd say something to him (he was upstairs, likely in my bedroom), he'd meow back, etc. He hasn't done that since. I'll likely be home this weekend and may do another big breakfast Saturday morning and see if he likes that.
The big thing I'm irritated with now is that I have no control over what he does. He's holed up in my kitchen cabinetry. He's usually in the dead corner of that side. I could cut a hole in the wood underneath there large enough to get him out. I could take out most of that side of the cabinetry if I had to. I don't want to do that, but I don't think we're making enough progress with him residing in the hole.
I think the only other real option I have to get him out and seal the gap is a trap. I don't want to traumatize him more, so I may give him another month or so. With that said, I'm not going to let him stay in the cabinets six months or a year, never venture out, while I take care of his needs. If he's not going to come out, he eventually will be rehomed.
I can understand that it would be a disappointment to get a cat like this when you were expecting an interactive pet. Maybe some people would enjoy the effort involved in a cat like this, or they might even enjoy having a cat slink around in the corners as a pet. Personally, I wouldn't. My suggestion if you do look for another cat is to spend time interacting with the cat for a while before you decide to take them home.
A friend of mine volunteers at a pet shelter and I have been there several times to visit while people come for adoptions. They have rooms for people to take the cats into and spend time with them and I'd say within 20 minutes or so you can get an idea of whether the cat enjoys socializing.
Hopefully there will be a way for this cat to end up in a good home.
It must be frustrating wanting to interact with your kitty who is extremely skittish!
My recent adoptee also hid but there were no holes where I couldn't get at him. Eventually, I started closing off some of his hiding spaces and left him with just one or two options. And yes, I did drag him out [but I did not have to drill any holes]; however, he had in his prior life been socialized but just shy (I learned from the rescue people that he would hide pretty much all day and come out at night when it was quiet. He also had to contend with other cats that harassed him.) Unlike your case, I was able to capture my cat and get him to the vet who prescribed pills to help him chill.
The point I am trying to make is that you have had your boy for only a month and from my experience with a known socialized cat with the help of medicine took a month to come out of his shell, he may need at least another month. Don't give up - continue to talk to him. Heck, you could read all of the posts to him out loud if you run out of conversation pieces.
Trying the Saturday morning breakfast sounds like a good plan - maybe slip him a little treat to help strengthen the bond.
Not saying I'm perfect here, but I woke up to go to the restroom in the middle of the night, saw him on the vanity, and picked him up to get him out of the bedroom. I wasn't thinking he would totally go off like that.
I didn't expect a pre-fab cuddle bug that would be in my lap all the time, but wasn't expecting a month of hiding under my kitchen cabinets either. I have not seen him (without having to get in the floor and take a picture/video of him in the hole) in over two weeks now. He has dragged a couple more toys back in there and he does appear to be making some minor progress on playing.
I want him to come out, interact, and start socializing. The "eat, poop, hide in a hole" thing is getting old.
If he was under a bed or somewhere that I could physically get to him, I wouldn't be so frustrated. It's not like I just get him to go into the next room and then slowly introduce myself to him. I feel like there is nearly no progress, and until I can get to him, I can't do a thing about any of it.
He's not hurting anything by being there. With that said, I'm not home a lot. Last week was rough. I worked until 9 two nights. I didn't get home until about 9 Friday night, and was gone most of the day Saturday and Sunday.
He is not going to become socialized or friendly in a home where the person is never home. "Getting to him" would make no difference except to set him back. The way to proceed in these cases is at the kitten's pace, but you aren't ever there for him to get used to.
Even a well socialized kitten would be struggling in this environment. Kittens need people around to become socialized and remain socialized.
No I'm not blaming you, I'm blaming the person or people who just wanted to unload a kitten without checking if the home was suitable. Not to mention, not neutering first.
I would be happy to be proved wrong but you need to understand that this is going to take many months if not years. And being intact, he will likely begin to spray soon.
Trapping him and taking him to be neutered is paramount. When you bring him back from the vet, your home will be a familiar place, in comparison to being at the vet, and that is a positive thing.
But the bottom line is, you aren't home enough to turn him (or any kitten) into a socialized friendly cat. A bonded pair of adult cats, or an adult cat who prefers to be an only would be a better choice for you, though I wonder why you want a pet at all since you aren't ever home? Not having a dig here, it just seems you don't really understand that animals have needs, they don't do well left alone too much.
Last edited by catsmom21; 12-11-2019 at 04:43 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Heck, you could read all of the posts to him out loud if you run out of conversation pieces.
