Old and new cat don't get along??? (laser, blankets, older)

[catsmom21]

Originally Posted by Bratcat31

Hello!
I have read through all 8 pages of this thread and am still not 100% sure what to do with my situation. About 9 months ago I began fostering a mother cat and her 4 kittens. She was SUPER protective of her kittens with my other cats so we only tried one introduction between them and my cats before we realized that wouldn't work. We did however use baby gates so they could all get to know each other (until everyone started climbing them!) without actual interaction, and would let momma out without her kittens for short periods of time as well.

Fast forward 5 months. All 4 kittens have been rehomed or adopted and we took 2 weeks to slowly move the foster cat into general population with my two. Letting her out when we were home and could keep an eye on her (remember they have spent 5 months slowly getting to know each other and each others scents as well) and then putting her back in "her" room at night and when we weren't home. Eventually we began leaving her out for short shifts when we weren't home and then eventually all the time. Though my smaller cat (8ish years old) has never been a huge fan of the foster cat there was only a bit of hissing and maybe a chase scene once a week.

Since then things have gotten progressively worse. My smaller cat chases her most every day now and tonight for the first time we actually had a "fight" where one cat pulled the others hair out (they look almost identical to one another so I have no idea who's hair it was...). First time we have had any blood/fur drawn. NOTE: Is is ALWAYS my cat chasing the foster. The foster has never started it. (Foster is about 2 yrs old)

We have gone back to locking the foster up in the office ("her" room has been changed into a nursery) when we leave and at night to try to give them a break from one another but so far not working. We have used a water bottle to stop my cat before she attacks but most of the time we aren't in the same room as they are when they start. It generally only lasts 5 maybe 10 seconds at the most. Tonight might have been closer to 20 seconds.

Extra facts in case they are needed:
- My second cat (also 8ish) and the foster get along well enough. Not friends by any stretch but can generally be pretty close to one another without having issues. She and my smaller cat (got them both at the exact same time) didn't like each other at first, but I haven't had issues between those two in many many years and I don't remember anything more than hissing ever occuring.
- neither the attacker or attackee cat seems to be particularly scared of the other unless they are about to get into it. Neither the foster nor my cat hide and they can even be around each other often without fighting.
- The foster does hiss and growl often at my cat if she walks by or gets too close. Sometimes my cat gives her a wide berth when she does this like she is scared, sometimes she doesn't care at all.
- Both are eating well (although we did have a medical issue with the foster for awhile where she stopped eating), and using the litter box as normal. No marking, no agression towards myself, my husband, my third cat or any of the dogs. No unwanted behavior aside from my cat continually going after the foster
- We have 3 litter boxes in 2 different rooms, 3 different water dishes, and 2 different food bowls in 2 different rooms.
- We are expecting a baby in less than 2 months so the room we can currently use to segregate is going to be occupied with family. At that point if we can't figure this out, the foster will likely also have to be rehomed. No worries about a shelter, she is in a rescue group so her life is safe but she may have to go into boarding if we they can't find her a different foster home.
- We have two large cat trees (72+ inches) in two different rooms and plenty of counters and furniture for all the cats to climb on.
- Everyone is fixed including the foster/momma cat. She was a stray picked up by a rescue group already pregnant. They had her altered as soon as she was able to be.

Any suggestions? Anything we are doing wrong?

'Thanks!

Kelli

Hello and welcome to the forum! How wonderful that you fostered the little mother and her family.

Do you have feliway plug in diffusers going?

In most situations, my advice would be to just give it time and let them work it out. But with a new baby coming, that's going to cause even more stress for the resident kitty. If there is another place the foster kitty can be safely placed, that would be the best thing for your own little girl kitty.

But I recommend the feliway, for when the baby comes, anyway.

Let us know what you decide.

[Bratcat31]

I have not tried feliway. I honestly never even knew it existed until reading this forum. I absolutely will give it a shot. Can't hurt anything. :-)

I have been considering placing the foster elsewhere but for now I know that would be a boarding kennel and I am having a tough time being okay with that. I know the place they would send her and it is nice, but it's still living in a cage, and we have grown attached to her in the last 9 months. Not enough to keep her (we have enough pets) but enough that I am hoping desperately that we won't have to board her. Especially since it is my cat that is being a brat not her.

When the baby comes we likely won't have another option, but we are trying to hold out until then. We did switch out who was confined tonight for the first time. My cat is spending the night in the office and the foster is out and about. Should be interesting to see if that changes anything.

Really I wish I knew why my cat was being a brat. The foster certainly never starts it so I don't think it is a dominance tj

[catman]

Your "brat" cat is trying to retain his/her feelings of dominance and control. I'd say he/she needs to learn that the bigger cat can probably clean his/her clock.

I hope you aren't afraid that a cat will smother a baby or any of that nonsense.

[jasper12]

It can be quite a drama when they don't get along. From what I have seen of my cats, it usually sounds worse than it really is, and usually no one gets seriously hurt. However, once I lived next door to a psycho cat, he would sit and watch my cats in the house, thru a glass door. He would stare at them, intently, then "rev" up, and hurl himself at the door, to attack them. If you have a territorial beast like that forget it.

[Bratcat31]

It definitely sounds worse than it is. The foster is a very talkative cat anyways and so whenever my cat starts to chase her it sounds like all hell has broken loose when really there has never been any blood drawn, they break up on their own within seconds, and neither seems too worse for the wear. The pulled fur last night made me a little nervous as does the fact that it seems to be getting worse not better but overall I think it has mostly just been noise.

My cat is definitely not like the psyco cat. Again, they can be in the same room with no issues with each other for hours at a time and then my cat just decides it would be fun to terrorize the foster for a bit. It is interesting to watch because my cat "seems" like she is enjoying the crud out of screwing with the foster. I swear you can see her laugh...This cat also chases my other cat sometimes, but I think with them it is more of a game now and my other cat returns the favor.

I do hope that the foster gives my cat a good whollup one off these days but honestly even with the extra few pounds I am not sure she would win in an actual fight. For the first year or so that I had my cats they were indoor/outdoor (they are strictly indoor now) and my little cat is a scrapper. She got into some nasty sounding fights and never lost a single one of them. I can't honestly even remember a time when she has had a scratch on her.

As for the cats smothering the baby, I do worry a bit about that. Not because I think they are going to steal all his oxygen or anything but more because I think they will want to sleep ON the baby not with the baby. They are all three cuddle kitties. And two of my three will be much bigger (hopefully ) than the baby so if they try to sleep on him they would squish him! We would likely have to rehome the foster because I just don't know that I can continue to play switcharoo kitties, and separate fighting kitties with a newborn underfoot particularly without a way to separate them when needed. Sadly with dogs there are only so many places I can put an extra litter box and extra cat food...

So I have another question. If my foster isn't even attempting to assert her dominance over my other cat (at least not that I can see), why is my cat so dead set on trying to keep it. I could understand if the foster was being pushy or forward or something, but she really isn't. Well, at least not that I can see. I sadly know far less about cats that I probably should. I have researched every animal that I have ever gotten from dog to lizard to fish with the exception of my two cats. When I decided to get them 7ish years ago I just though "Eh, it's cats how much do you really need to know?" Stupid I know now.l

[jasper12]

Cats don't smother a baby. They check the baby out, jump up and sniff the baby, and usually go off. My cat never really slept with the baby. He did cuddle her a few times in her crib, but was not ever a threat. I had four kids, and three cats, no problems. My one cat was 13 when I started having kids, he was not crazy about the baby when he started shrieking when he saw the cat, he loved the cat. That was at about 9 months or so, the cat would run away. We got him a kitten when he was three. That worked out better. That kitten had a toddler, and a baby...and turned out to be a great kid cat...

[Annie53]

Hi Bratcat! Welcome to CD.

I don't know if you read this thread from the beginning.....so I am going to cut/paste a copy of a post I made on Page 3.....post #27. This especially may be helpful to you considering you are having a baby. Here it is:


Many, many years ago I read a tip in the Heloise column.

It was for people with cats and a new baby. She said to buy a wooden screen door to put on the babies bedroom. You can still see and hear the newborn without the cats having access.

I used this tip to seperate a cat that I had adopted that was already declawed. I kept her in my bedroom when I wasn't home to supervise, yet all of the cats could interact through the screen to get used to one another.

I didn't remove the solid door, just added the screen door like you do a storm door. I had to replace the fiberglass screen with aluminum, of course.
I didn't use standard size door hinges either, I used cupboard sized hinges because I thought the door was only temporary. I used the real small hook and eyes to latch it closed.......one on the inside and one on the outside.

I have never removed the door, it has come in handy so many times over the years when I needed to keep a cat seperated for any reason.

I eventually painted it to match the room and the hallway. When it is closed people never even notice that it is there.

It is so much nicer for everyone when you have to keep cats seperated.........they aren't so isolated.


PS: Never use fiberglass screen in windows or doors when you have cats.
One of my cats ate a big hole out of a fiberglass window screen once. {I assume he swatted at a fly or something and then just started to nibble at the frayed ends.........like cats that will eat thread, etc.}

He almost died......in fact, my vet didn't think he would make it........the fiberglass blocked his intestines and he was at the vets for days. They had to give him some kind of fluids to try to move the fiberglass through his intestines without shredding them. Against all odds he survived and lived to a ripe old age.

All of the screens in the house were fiberglass..............I immediatley replaced all of them with the charcoal colored aluminum. They are sturdy, look good and are SAFE.[/

I hope this helps.

[Bratcat31]

Annie,
Thanks for the cut and paste. I actually had read that post, and am thinking about that but have not yet decided whether I want to do it or not. He will be sleeping in our room initially and putting up the screen door may keep the cats out (which they would HATE as they sleep on the bed) but it would also lock the dogs in/out of the bedroom which really won't work for our situation. We are trying our best to keep the pets routine as close to normal as possible (yeah I know impossible to do, but we will try) after the baby comes to try to prevent and/or minimize jealousy reactions.

I have debated putting one on the nursery door but I have read that locking the pets out of the nursery isn't a good idea because it can cause them to be too interested in it instead of it just being another room. That extra interest (especially with dogs) can grow to be problematic if you aren't careful because it can turn into infatuation which can be hard to fix. I could see this when our pups though as they are quite used to following us wherever we go. Obviously this is lots of can's and maybe's and could happens when we have no idea what will happen so I am still weighing all the options.

Thanks for the idea though. I did buy the feliway today so hopefully that will help. I spoke with my vet about the isssue today and he also recommended the feliway and said that with my situation there may not be much else I can do aside from keeping them separated. Since the intro was done so slowly from the beginning he said it may just be two personalities that don't match or that my cat just can't accept a third cat in the house.

[jasper12]

Interesting. Becuase I never even worried about it. The dog adjusted, the cats did too. No one ever got bit, or smothered. Four kids, three dogs, four cats.

[catsmom21]

I have a screen door in my apartment bedroom doorway too.