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Okay, I'm not a big thread starter but I need some advice on this one as I am at my wits end. Many of you regulars on here know me as someone who knows her fur babies. Well, a lot has changed around here since I lost my Snarf last month. It's like the changing of the guards. I used to joke everytime I left the house "Snarf, you're in charge". Well, Munchkin (our orange & white kitty who was Snarf's buddy and 2nd oldest--out of the then 3 including the new baby in July, Sidney). Well, as you all know Sidney is a sweetheart. He's, well, kinda slow, not the bightest star in the bunch, but he's very loving and gentle, a big teddy bear. Well, Munchkin has taken to being very dominate towards him and now Sport, the young male stray we adopted from outside BUT Sport is dominating Sidney too. If Sidney isnt next to me, which isnt often, he is in my bedroom sleeping or my sons room sleeping and I HAVE to check on him constantly because Munchkin or Sport will have him by the throat, biting him. Sidney has cried out a few times and of course it freaks me out and I go leaping over furniture to his rescue...but, the water bottle, holding them by the scruff, nothing is working. I woke up last night with Sidney who always lays by my stomach, held down by Munchkin at the throat again. I grabbed Munchkin immediately by the neck to release him and it scared Munchkin to death, then I felt terrible. Muchkin has already forgotten all because he has been lazy with me most of the day on the couch snuggling, but I dont him to forget what he is doing is bad. I am so worried that one of them will hurt Sidney. I already have to lock Sport in a room when I go somewhere because of the fight he and Munchkin had...I have just NEVER had to deal with cat fights. As my fiance says "we have too much animal drama" and he's right.
So...after ALL THAT I'm hoping you all might have some more of your wonderful words of wisdom because my Sidney love isnt going to be dominated by these two bullies for another moment. Thanks in advance!
Location: Tweakerville (aka Sh**ty Heights), San Diego, CA
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Maybe a powerful squirt gun would work. My next door neighbor has two kittens that run out the door evey time she opens it, and the spray bottle doesn't faze them in the least.
That's a killling bite if made in earnest. I would hope it's just a dominance issue now that a new pecking order has to be established. I don't know what to tell you, other than to let them work it out.
I'm reaching deep (sigh) and I really don't have suggestions besides maybe keeping these two guys separated for awhile until things settle down. A death experienced in a family is extremely difficult, and may take months for your fur babies to come to acceptance. And, the entire order of the family has a hole in it, and it sounds as though the boys are rallying who is going to be the alpha cat. Was the cat who passed (I am so very sorry!) the alpha by any chance? Ah, I think that's it, for you verbally told Snarf he was in charge, and me being who I am, believe that all your fur babies understood you. Now they don't know who is in charge with Snarf gone, and they are extremely insecure.
Man, I don't know, H, any solutions to this except with time the dust will settle. Separate the cats, especially at night. Give all of them lots of attention and love. Hopefully over time, a new social order will arise within your feline family, and all will be well. Other then that, I don't know what else to say.
Thanks all! I think I will get a Feliway tomorrow..I wont turn away many options at this point!
Garden, yes, my Snarfy had just turned 7 in Oct. His loss was a sudden shock to all of us and the boys aren't getting off easy with the terrible vibes from me either. They know I am deeply affected by Snarfs loss and I am sure they sense that in addition to their own adjustments. Snarf was my alpha. He was also very smart and handled things with a lot of maturity. He kept the boys in line but didnt do so with aggression. I think that is why this house of cats has always been so calm, you need a calm alpha.
Munchkin is 2nd in age and time in the house. Sidney was a sick kitten (who has a very long thread on here somewhere) and arrived in July. Sport arrived shortly after Sidney as a young adult who I started feeding outside, gained his trust and brought him in when it got cold (had him neutered/shots/testing). Sport had only been out & about in the house for about 2/3 days before Snarfs stroke, so Sport didnt really know him.
Munchkin & Snarf were close and the only 2 cats in this house until July09 when Sidney joined us.
There is A LOT going on and I guess you are right..these are some changes I am going to have to closely monitor and make sure Sidney doesnt get hurt in the meantime.
Your family is in my prayers. I really think it is the "hole" theory I proposed and that the boys are lost without their alpha to keep them in line. I've walked where you are walking......prayers, confidence in what you doing to help your fur babies adjust, keeping yourself as calm as possible, and faith.....
and then the icing on top>>>>>LOVE....all these will have results. I really hope things settle down and soon, for when the cats are at ends, the entire household is stressed!
Hartwellgirl! Of course I know of something to do! You have to get those boys calmed down, and yourself, so do go and buy some Bach Flowers Rescue Remedy tonight, if you can! I don't know how I live without the stuff around here! You can either apply it on their ears, or the stronger effect I have found, is putting 2-4 drops right in their mouths. May I recommend 4 drops right away for the seriousness of the matter? And one more product you could order online is called Calm Pet, which is a spray that is amazing! It can be found at Dr. Judy Griffin's Aroma Health Texas :: Aroma Therapy, Herbal Therapy, Herbal Medicine, Healing Power of Flowers, Flower Essences for $14.95. This spray works!
One last suggestion.....ahhhhhh.....the brain is working again.........do you have essential oil diffusers? If so, I recommend using three essential oils together which are Clary Sage, Lavender, and Geranium. I use approximately 10 drops of each and keep the diffuser running all day. They are safe for cats, and they will not only calm your cats down, but your entire family as well. I hope this information helps.
Maybe a powerful squirt gun would work. My next door neighbor has two kittens that run out the door evey time she opens it, and the spray bottle doesn't faze them in the least.
When I spray my 19 month old male Little Bit it is an opportunity for him to clean his coat with something other than his own spit, I know sounds gross. But it does not phase him.
Thanks again Garden...And Bigg Mann I have the same problem. Sidney loves water, he taunts me LOL. Sport, scared of the bottle and Munchkin, well, he's my problem child. He's a red head though and I expect none the less from him. He does this "stop drop plop thing" and he huffs like a teenager. So if I get the bottle out, he will just drop to his side, tuck his paw under him and huff at me. Sometimes these cats are more human like than my own teenager lol....
Thanks again everyone. I am taking notes and when I go out later, looking for everything I can get my hand on.
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I'm hoping you all might have some more of your wonderful words of wisdom because my Sidney love isnt going to be dominated by these two bullies for another moment. Thanks in advance!
Where are the brains?
You have to get those boys calmed down, and yourself, so do go and buy some Bach Flowers Rescue Remedy tonight, if you can! I don't know how I live without the stuff around here! You can either apply it on their ears, or the stronger effect I have found, is putting 2-4 drops right in their mouths. May I recommend 4 drops right away for the seriousness of the matter? And one more product you could order online is called Calm Pet, which is a spray that is amazing! It can be found at 
