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Charlotte would only look "off on its own" by the optical illusion that our eyes are trained to read from left to right in a horizontal fashion. But in the 360-degree world, the fact that you have to go SW to get to Charlotte is not a relevant distinction. Turn the map 70 degrees to the right and suddenly the Triangle looks like the odd one out.
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Agreed- it all depends on your perspective. Nationally, most geographers cast the Southeast as Atlanta-centric radiating out. From that perspective, the Triangle is on the fringe of the SE megaregion. In that vein, Charlotte and Nashville are seen as the 2nd tier cities behind ATL.
However, I know a lot of the people living in the Triangle are NE transplants who see themselves as one of the bottom links of the NE corridor.
People's perceptions vary substantially from place to place and are ultimately usually centered around either where they are from, or they place they currently live if they have accepted it as "home."
Growing up in Union County, I never knew or heard a lot about Raleigh outside of being taught it was the state capitol in school and I knew NC State was in Raleigh. The news media was Charlotte based and I definitely grew up viewing everything in NC as based around Charlotte. The Eastern part of NC might as well not have existed. Our vacations were to the NC mountains or the SC beaches.
Now having traveled the state extensively as an adult, I can tell you people in different parts of NC see things very differently. For one, most of the negativity around the biggest cities is from the suburban counties themselves.
A large part of the negatives about Charlotte will come from people living in Union, Cabarrus, Lincoln, Gaston, Iredell, and York (SC) as much as anywhere else. Most people in the Triangle or other parts of the state really don't think about Charlotte unless it's brought up. My in-laws are from WV, and they pretty much view Charlotte as the southern end of the world (my mother-in-law avoids Charlotte like the plague- too big for her. She will drive just as far to Hickory to shop b/c she likes it better).
Same thing with Raleigh & the Triangle really. Most of the people who complain about Raleigh and the rest of Triangle are people living in smaller towns and counties surrounding that have seen suburban growth start to swallow up their rural lifestyle. Most people outside of Raleigh from other parts of the state really don't have any complaints except it's easy and popular to blame the politicians in Raleigh for congestion/ bad roads where they live. My in-laws have lived in NC for 20 years and have never been east of Winston-Salem (and have no desire to). Of course, I know people from Greenville, NC who have never been west of Raleigh (not even Durham) and are perfectly ok with that too.
For the people in the Eastern part of the state, Greenville really is the center of everything. People will go to Raleigh for their "big city" needs, but for the average person, even Raleigh seems like a far piece. Somewhere like Greensboro or Charlotte might as well be in another state.
One of my favorite parts of the state is the extreme southwestern part of NC. The average North Carolinian has probably only even thought about this part when they look at a map or learn about the "Murphy to Manteo" in school. The 3 most western counties (Cherokee, Clay, and Macon) might as well be part of Georgia. Most get ATL news and media, and for them it is easier to get to ATL (2 hours) than even Asheville (2.5 hours). For a lot of those people, Asheville is about as far east as they have been.
A place like Charlotte (4 hours) or Raleigh (7 hours) might as well not exist. The common joke is that Murphy is closer to the state capitols of 6 other states than Raleigh. For most of those school kids, the only real exposure to what most of us consider mainstream NC is a school field to trip to Raleigh