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Old 10-31-2007, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Huntersville
23 posts, read 50,932 times
Reputation: 12

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Hi, I am trying this again. It seems that my previous posts requesting to connect with other moms of color was so offensive to people that they deleted my thread. I just don't get what people are so upset about? Please, Mr. or Mrs. Moderator, do not delete what I have just said because I think that it relates to WHY I am trying to find other people who are similar to me. I have no problem socializing with Caucasian women, I do socialize with them quite regularly however, I would also like to socialize with more women who look like me! What is so hard to understand about that? Note, I did not say I ONLY want to socialize with women of color, I said IN ADDITION TO! It is the same reason that people want to connect to Red Sox fans, STeeler fans, people from NY/NJ, wives of doctors, athletes..etc. There are so many groups out there that are formed for one basic reason...familiarity! I find it quite interesting that I have searched and found several other posts on here from other ethnic groups looking to connnect to others from the same ethnic background and NO ONE wrote in to say that they were racists. And, their threads are still active.
Once, again, please do not delete what I have just said because I think that it will help explain to those people out there who are so sensitive or who just don't get why I am making this request to, hopefully, understand. ALthough, it bothers me that I should even HAVE to explain it!
Can anyone with an open mind relate to what I am trying to say?
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Old 10-31-2007, 11:16 AM
 
Location: Cornelius
3,662 posts, read 9,045,120 times
Reputation: 798
Actually, I can't relate and attempted to respond to that thread several days ago, but I accidentally deleted it before I could post, and just said never mind.

The basic question I asked was that why is it so important to find other AA moms to hang out with? Is there something wrong with caucasian moms? or yellow moms? or green moms? Is the AA culture so different that you can find nothing in common with moms of other ethnicities or races?

Would it have been ok for me to post, "White Dad looking for other white dads to share interests with in the LKN area?" I don't think so.

In a world where we are trying to forget that anyone has colored skin, how is a post like that helping? How is the intention helping?

Now, you say here that you said in addition to AA moms, but I don't remember seeing that in the OP. I think this post reads somewhat better in that you said "diverse". But why not just ask:

"Is there a group of moms in the Lake Norman, Huntersville area that would like to connect?"

Who cares what race anyone is? I'm sure with such a diverse community of people as we have in Charlotte, that you would find diversity without asking the question. Your original post implied otherwise.
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Old 10-31-2007, 11:19 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,246 posts, read 94,263,828 times
Reputation: 40080
Quote:
Originally Posted by CharlotteHostess View Post
Hi, I am trying this again. It seems that my previous posts requesting to connect with other moms of color was so offensive to people that they deleted my thread. I just don't get what people are so upset about? Please, Mr. or Mrs. Moderator, do not delete what I have just said because I think that it relates to WHY I am trying to find other people who are similar to me. I have no problem socializing with Caucasian women, I do socialize with them quite regularly however, I would also like to socialize with more women who look like me! What is so hard to understand about that? Note, I did not say I ONLY want to socialize with women of color, I said IN ADDITION TO! It is the same reason that people want to connect to Red Sox fans, STeeler fans, people from NY/NJ, wives of doctors, athletes..etc. There are so many groups out there that are formed for one basic reason...familiarity! I find it quite interesting that I have searched and found several other posts on here from other ethnic groups looking to connnect to others from the same ethnic background and NO ONE wrote in to say that they were racists. And, their threads are still active.
Once, again, please do not delete what I have just said because I think that it will help explain to those people out there who are so sensitive or who just don't get why I am making this request to, hopefully, understand. ALthough, it bothers me that I should even HAVE to explain it!
Can anyone with an open mind relate to what I am trying to say?

Just because I questioned whether a white person could ask the same question you did without sounding racist does not mean I am "sensitive" or close minded - I am just trying to live a conscious existence myself and have the opinion that until we stop bringing race into everything we will never truly be "diverse" in this country.

I do think in that end of town you will find MANY young mothers such as the ones you are looking for to socialize with - just don't let this forum be your only resource (which I'm sure you are not). Perhaps you would like to look into the African American Cultural Center for programs and events where you are likely to meet other moms - Afro-American Cultural Center
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Old 10-31-2007, 11:28 AM
 
9,124 posts, read 34,388,719 times
Reputation: 3605
I wasn't the one who deleted your post, but I can tell you why I think it was deleted, based even on the tone of this post.

As Carolina_guy said, if you had posted a thread about "looking for a group of white moms to hang out with", there would have been posts on here from every black woman and man on this site, decrying it as being an utterly racist post and demanding that it be removed. So now, you come on here attempting to temper the post with a line like " I have no problem socializing with Caucasian women, I do socialize with them quite regularly however, I would also like to socialize with more women who look like me!", which is the same as me saying "I don't have a problem with is having a few black guys in the office, but I sure would prefer if we hired more white guys instead". Again, my post would be met with objections from every black poster on the forum.

So, to avoid any further post deletions, I'd suggest that you request a "diverse" group of moms, and don't mention that you'd have "no problem" with certain groups- it just sounds patronizing at best, and reverse-racist at worst.
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Old 10-31-2007, 11:30 AM
 
58 posts, read 121,373 times
Reputation: 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by CharlotteHostess View Post
Hi, I am trying this again. It seems that my previous posts requesting to connect with other moms of color was so offensive to people that they deleted my thread.
I can totally understand what you're searching for, but in all fairness, the first thread went downhill fast because you accused another poster of having a racist attitude.

Like I said, I can completely understand what you're are searching for, and I hope you find what you need, but it's wrong to suggest your other threads went away because people didn't treat your request fairly.
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Old 10-31-2007, 12:01 PM
 
Location: Central NJ - Moving to Harrisburg NC in April 08
54 posts, read 146,688 times
Reputation: 25
Default Girlfriend...

I love these threads...they help me get through the day.

Listen: The sista wants to hang out with some other sistas and rap about sista stuff. "Girlfriend...let me tell you what happened in the supermarket yesterday...!!!" That kinda stuff...

Does anybody watch Oprah? Here is a successful black woman filling her audience everyday with white middle class women. They hang out with Oprah and the issues on her show trump any race issues. I don't care for her myself, but her social model is so beautiful.

I'm a "brother" and I understand the need to hang with the "brothers", but some of my best friends are "white" and we hang out with no problem because of what we have in common (wives, sports, jobs, etc.) It's all good...

I think the CharlotteHostess wants to connect with some black moms because that may be what is missing from her life right now. I agree the wording of the 1st post way a little off, but I understand her needs.

I think the people responding in the forum want to show you much love and respect and get pass some of the race issues of the past.

I agree: It is not about race. After these AA women show up, what if they are negative and abusive to you? Other than the color of their skin, what do you have in common? Kids, scrapbooking, cooking, exercise, shopping?

That's the point the "white" people are trying to make...hope I make sense.

moderator note:

Regardless who you are wanting to meet your tone in the threads determine
if you are someone that is pleasant to be around.
The original poster question has been answered thank you for everyone contribution.
If you would like to make a suggestion please use the direct message feature to this member.
The resources are out there.

Last edited by SunnyKayak; 10-31-2007 at 12:48 PM..
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