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Old 11-08-2006, 11:05 AM
cjc cjc started this thread
 
1 posts, read 5,923 times
Reputation: 14

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Hello all,
I love this forum as I moved around a few times.
I have to comment on the singles scene in Charlotte and I would like insight and feedback from other Single people. Especially single people from other places ( I moved from Phoenix) considering moving to Charlotte. Families and older couples won't understand at all where I am coming from.

A brief backround on myself: I am 30 years old, moved to Charlotte in feb 06, no kids (at least to my knowledge. lol) never married. My career is software sales, but making a career change to fire/ems after I finish the academy. I am currently in the fire academy. (can't mention where for security reasons, its not Charlotte. Which by the way is GREAT DEPT.).
I lived in Phoenix,AZ for 6 years and spent a lot of my childhood out west. I am a desert rat by heart. I went to school first grade through high school in Columbia, SC and absoluted hated it and hated the people. SC was a horrid experience, I have never been around so many white trash rednecks and thugs. After moving from SC I realized why most of the nation has a bad opinion of the deep south.
I have family in AZ I would see all summer and holidays. I love the west. Thankfully I was able to spend much of my childhood in the west away from SC. But again its not everyone's experience with SC. Not to get off on a tangent.

But my parents moved to Charlotte and I needed a change so I moved here in 02/06.

After 9 months of being here as a single 30 year old male here is my humble thoughts from those from much larger metroplian cities planning on moving here.
Charlotte is cheaper, easier to buy a house, not intimidating like Phoenix, fairly friendly people. There has been lots of good things here. I live for the outdoors (rock climbing, kayaking, rafting etc) NC has lots of opptys for that. Not like the west, but I LOVE asheville, reminds me of Flagstaff and Colorado Springs.

Job market is very very hard if you arent in banking or IT. It took me over 6 months to find a decent job with a good company. The great thing is that I was given an oppty to get my ems/firefighter certs to become a firefighter when I finsih academy which is all night and all weekend. So I am blessed with that.

The BAD things of Charlotte;. Very bad dating scene for single males. I have tried, and exhausted many avenues to meet women: internet, social groups, going uptown, going to bars, lake norman, blind dates, set up through friends. I have been on dates with different kinds of women here, so I am qualified to speak on this.
Unfortunatly I have to be negative but honest,almost every date was a waste of time. Lots of divorced single mothers, lots of fat women here with redneck mentalities. I find tons of broken people as well. NOTHING like the west. Where there was a plethora of single quality career minded women that are looking to settle down. Not get drunk and try to sleep with everyone unlike Charlotte's single scene.
Let me preface I am 5 10, I do fitness modeling and workout all the time, career minded, I want a family someday, love animals, close with my family.
So I am not an obese ted bundy. I dated lots of beautiful women out west unlike here.
I have read Charlotte has a horrible singles scene and its been confirmed. BUT, its great for married people with families.
I don't care anymore as I have given up dating here. I will eventually move back west and meet a good girl. Its very frustrating at this age to have career going but personal life is non-existent. I am very outgoing, have lots of friends, but Charlotte is Graveyard for singles.
All the attractive, quality women are taken already and there is nothing decent left over for men in their late twenties to 30's.
If you are single and moving here, its easy to get laid but don't expect to meet someone decent to date or settle down.
Expect to meet all the leftover rednecks, dramaqueens, prissy phony women. Married folks will Love Charlotte. If it wasn't for my career I would leave in two seconds.
I am brutally honest, if you don't like the truth then build a bridge and get over it. Otherwise I would appreciate intelligent commentary. I beginning to find out from people in Charlotte that is very poor for singles.

Last edited by cjc; 11-08-2006 at 11:20 AM..
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Old 11-08-2006, 08:13 PM
 
Location: South Charlotte
233 posts, read 853,840 times
Reputation: 157
Sorry to hear things aren't going well.

I guess my game plan is to travel more. I am not going to depend on Charlotte's night scene to find someone. Keep in mind that you are 3 hours from Atlanta, and 7 hours from DC if you are up for the drive.

I haven't been anywhere in Charlotte, where I can say I have been exposed to young professional men. It's odd because you would think with the large banking industry finding a professional wouldn't be difficult.

Also, I believe Charlotte close down around 2am or 3am, this should be extended to at least 4am.

I haven't been here for over 6 months, so I am still trying to figure out what to do in Charlotte. There is potential here, but I think people are moving here expecting things to be up and running like a well established city.
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Old 11-30-2006, 01:51 AM
 
Location: Jersey Shore
3 posts, read 14,997 times
Reputation: 10
Unhappy Wow

After reading your thoughts on the horrible single scene & Job market I'm reconsidering moving there . I'm in NJ work a Marketing Manager. I have to admit the Jobs don't seem plentify, but it seems like its cheep enough for me to live off savings for at least a year. Charlotte was rated in the top 20 cities for Singles by Forbes Magazine. I don't know where to go just need a change, & I'm not going to meet my soulmate in Ocean County. Oh well, sounds like pretty skinny girls with their **** together are in high demand maybe I'll get lucky
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Old 11-30-2006, 08:32 AM
 
Location: Concord, NC
1,417 posts, read 6,534,532 times
Reputation: 639
When I listen to what others have it say , I aways look for ques (white trash, rednecks, graveyard for singles, lots of fat women, can see why the south has bad rep ect, ect, ect). You remind me of my brother-in-law who, at 34, couldn't understand why he couldn't "find" at good woman. He said nearly everything you had said. After listening to him for about 20 minutes, I asked him if he wanted me to be honest with him, and he said sure. Like him, I think you are seeing your problem "finding" good women to date a problem that exisits outside of yourself, when really I think you're taking whatever experiences you've had in your past and blanketing them across every aspect of any negative experience you have here. I never had a problem during my dating years (The '80's. Been living here all of my 41 years) and none of my friends or family members who are dating now (a few who've lived here less than 5 years) are having these problems. I've been married to my one-and-only for 19 years. I just think you need a change in attitude, and open up your heart a bit. My 34 year old BIL is now 36 and plans to marry this summer to a wonderful, very beautiful young lady. He changed his outlook and stopped blamming outside influences. There are many very beautiful, good, decent women here, just as many as anywhere else. Constantly moving all over the country isn't going to solve your problem, I ASSURE you! You'll only end up in and out of relationships always wondering, "why? It's STILL not working out. I'd better move again". I'm not trying to be a jerk or be all-knowing. But remember what you said about honesty. It's a 2-way street. Even though I don't know you personally, I really hope you find what you really want and want to be honest as well. If I didn't care, I wouldn't be spending my time typing all of this. Going, "there, there now" is not useful. It only reenforces these false perceptions and keeps you stuck. It just seems by your post that maybe you need to actually be honest with yourself and see what you may not be doing/viewing correctly. No one can do that but you, and blaming the Charlotte area and leaning on the false impression that this is a single's wasteland will only keep you stuck, no matter where you live. Many, many people move here from all over the nation all of the time and find these outdated stereotypes you mentioned to be totally untrue. Just read some of the NC/SC threads.

Honestly, hang in there, let go of the negativities of your past, and be honest with yourself. If you do that, I think your view will change and you'll have a much easier time finding the woman you can spend the next 80 years with, no matter where you live. Take care and good luck!!
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Old 11-30-2006, 10:13 PM
 
Location: Indian Trail, NC
295 posts, read 1,222,730 times
Reputation: 133
Question Where do all the late 20's/early 30's professional people live?

Interesting topic, since it will apply to me soon, too. I'd like to believe I'm a lot less bitter, though. In any case, as a 34-y.o. single, educated guy with a good career - it would be interesting to know if there are areas especially suburbs where there tend to be more conservative (read: not bars/nightclub scene), relatively young (late 20's, early 30's), educated people?

Strange question, I guess, but every city has its neighborhoods where:
a) Mostly families with young kids live, or
b) Mostly retired empty nesters, or
c) Mostly college kids, or
d) Mostly blue collar families live, or
e) Mostly young(ish) professionals live - either single or married without kids yet

Obviously all neighborhoods are mixed to a certain extent, but hopefully you know what I mean. I'm all over the board with where I'd like to live, but many of the ring of suburbs seem similar to me. Ballantyne, Waxhaw, Matthews, Harrisburg, Huntersville, Davidson ... they all seem ok - but if one had more (e) and less of the others ... that might help sway my decision.

Thanks.
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Old 11-30-2006, 11:19 PM
 
421 posts, read 283,413 times
Reputation: 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by friendnc View Post
When I listen to what others have it say , I aways look for ques (white trash, rednecks, graveyard for singles, lots of fat women, can see why the south has bad rep ect, ect, ect). You remind me of my brother-in-law who, at 34, couldn't understand why he couldn't "find" at good woman. He said nearly everything you had said. After listening to him for about 20 minutes, I asked him if he wanted me to be honest with him, and he said sure. Like him, I think you are seeing your problem "finding" good women to date a problem that exisits outside of yourself, when really I think you're taking whatever experiences you've had in your past and blanketing them across every aspect of any negative experience you have here. I never had a problem during my dating years (The '80's. Been living here all of my 41 years) and none of my friends or family members who are dating now (a few who've lived here less than 5 years) are having these problems. I've been married to my one-and-only for 19 years. I just think you need a change in attitude, and open up your heart a bit. My 34 year old BIL is now 36 and plans to marry this summer to a wonderful, very beautiful young lady. He changed his outlook and stopped blamming outside influences. There are many very beautiful, good, decent women here, just as many as anywhere else. Constantly moving all over the country isn't going to solve your problem, I ASSURE you! You'll only end up in and out of relationships always wondering, "why? It's STILL not working out. I'd better move again". I'm not trying to be a jerk or be all-knowing. But remember what you said about honesty. It's a 2-way street. Even though I don't know you personally, I really hope you find what you really want and want to be honest as well. If I didn't care, I wouldn't be spending my time typing all of this. Going, "there, there now" is not useful. It only reenforces these false perceptions and keeps you stuck. It just seems by your post that maybe you need to actually be honest with yourself and see what you may not be doing/viewing correctly. No one can do that but you, and blaming the Charlotte area and leaning on the false impression that this is a single's wasteland will only keep you stuck, no matter where you live. Many, many people move here from all over the nation all of the time and find these outdated stereotypes you mentioned to be totally untrue. Just read some of the NC/SC threads.

Honestly, hang in there, let go of the negativities of your past, and be honest with yourself. If you do that, I think your view will change and you'll have a much easier time finding the woman you can spend the next 80 years with, no matter where you live. Take care and good luck!!

You have to understand he is comparing Phoenix to Charlotte for woman. Sounds like he's used to hanging in Scottsdale with all the plastic fake empty heads. Scottsdale is full of them. For the 5th largest city Phoenix does not have any kind of downtown so he can't be meeting these people there. Maybe some college girls in Tempe. My bet is Scottsdale.
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Old 11-30-2006, 11:32 PM
 
Location: Wilson
505 posts, read 2,381,677 times
Reputation: 206
Lol, first off, bars and nightclubs are not the places to meet "nice" women anyway....if your 30 years old. Young people, in there low 20's hang out at those places, or older losers.

Places to meet good women are work and church. I have been to Phoenix many times and find it hard to believe that it could be any better in all that "sprawl". Outside of Phoenix, is nothing but "rednecks and trash", as you call them.


If you are trying that hard, and falling short everytime, you could be the problem. After all, why did you follow your parents over here? Your 30 years old? Not trying to be a jerk, but come on. Charlotte was rated high for singles for a reason.

Also, you might be aiming to high. You use words like fat women at white trash. Fat women can be nice.

Maybe you should try the Raleigh area. We have all the colleges, and young girls you could ever dream of.
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Old 12-04-2006, 07:43 AM
 
Location: Concord, NC
1,417 posts, read 6,534,532 times
Reputation: 639
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beffrey2 View Post
Lol, first off, bars and nightclubs are not the places to meet "nice" women anyway....if your 30 years old. Young people, in there low 20's hang out at those places, or older losers.

Places to meet good women are work and church. I have been to Phoenix many times and find it hard to believe that it could be any better in all that "sprawl". Outside of Phoenix, is nothing but "rednecks and trash", as you call them.


If you are trying that hard, and falling short everytime, you could be the problem. After all, why did you follow your parents over here? Your 30 years old? Not trying to be a jerk, but come on. Charlotte was rated high for singles for a reason.

Also, you might be aiming to high. You use words like fat women at white trash. Fat women can be nice.

Maybe you should try the Raleigh area. We have all the colleges, and young girls you could ever dream of.
Great advice!! The last place I would ever go to meet someone would be a bar. I met my wife at church and we've been married for 19 years now.
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Old 12-04-2006, 11:55 AM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
271 posts, read 1,144,056 times
Reputation: 63
Nice girls are always in my opinion in regular places like while your shopping at Harris Teeter, Blockbuster, library.. Places like that. Or you could always visit the Raleigh/Durham area(Great Single Scene Top 5 in Country) or Greensboro/Winston-Salem for a weekend and see what that turns up.
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Old 12-09-2006, 11:35 AM
 
Location: Concord, NC
1,417 posts, read 6,534,532 times
Reputation: 639
Quote:
Originally Posted by carolinatrendsetter View Post
Nice girls are always in my opinion in regular places like while your shopping at Harris Teeter, Blockbuster, library.. Places like that. Or you could always visit the Raleigh/Durham area(Great Single Scene Top 5 in Country) or Greensboro/Winston-Salem for a weekend and see what that turns up.
I agree. Sometimes, I think people try a little too hard, rush things, go to the "trendy" places, ect, when really there are many opportunities right in front of them. But in all honesty, it doesn't matter if he moves to Raleigh, NYC, or Tokyo, he'll have the same girl problems unless there's an attitude change.
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