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01-03-2007, 09:42 AM
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Location: matthews
2 posts, read 11,075 times
Reputation: 14
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Hi, i'm new to this site and fairly new to Matthews, NC. I was reading some posts about social activities and dating in this area. I am over 50 and female and looking for other "ACTIVE older adults" in the general area. It seems, gauging from the posts I've read, that the soical and dating scene is deplorable for younger folks. It's even worse for us older active adults. No different from South Alabama, where I lived before here, but still there seems to be an equal scarcity of available dating material or social opportunities. I am a professional mental health counselor, so I know not to be judgemental or blame the geographical location. but I really thought that considering the abundance of businesses and people in this area, there would be more and better dating/socializing possibilities.
I am not fat or redneck, or ugly, based on feedback I get from males and females alike. I know others have used these terms in placing blame for their lack of success in dating. I do have some complaints, which I will not air yet, about the quality of men I am finding. Am I looking in the wrong places? No bars (it is so sad to see old women hanging out in bars!), not churches ( my experience is that men tend to shy away from there. I led a large singles group for over 10 years in Mobile, AL - I KNOW that scene!). I joined a very expensive singles club here and there were lots of lovely women there, but only a few males and those men were the ones who were limited in their social skills and/or had severe grooming problems. I guess the adult senior males that have it together are swamped by available females and do not need to be out searching! Lucky guys! I would also like to find a female who share some of my interests, but it seems taht so many women my age are not really active, so I amhaving difficulity there. I am a very outgoing person and reaerely meet a stranger, but i am frustrated by my inability to get a social life going here.
anyway, thanks for letting me vent. Thank God I have family here and I have my career and many hobbies to keep me occupied and happy! But a companion to cook or travel with would be so much fun. I am not ready for the rocking chair!
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01-03-2007, 10:07 AM
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Location: Up above the world so high!
45,245 posts, read 95,816,751 times
Reputation: 40116
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jodyb
Hi, i'm new to this site and fairly new to Matthews, NC. I was reading some posts about social activities and dating in this area. I am over 50 and female and looking for other "ACTIVE older adults" in the general area. It seems, gauging from the posts I've read, that the soical and dating scene is deplorable for younger folks. It's even worse for us older active adults. No different from South Alabama, where I lived before here, but still there seems to be an equal scarcity of available dating material or social opportunities. I am a professional mental health counselor, so I know not to be judgemental or blame the geographical location. but I really thought that considering the abundance of businesses and people in this area, there would be more and better dating/socializing possibilities.
I am not fat or redneck, or ugly, based on feedback I get from males and females alike. I know others have used these terms in placing blame for their lack of success in dating. I do have some complaints, which I will not air yet, about the quality of men I am finding. Am I looking in the wrong places? No bars (it is so sad to see old women hanging out in bars!), not churches ( my experience is that men tend to shy away from there. I led a large singles group for over 10 years in Mobile, AL - I KNOW that scene!). I joined a very expensive singles club here and there were lots of lovely women there, but only a few males and those men were the ones who were limited in their social skills and/or had severe grooming problems. I guess the adult senior males that have it together are swamped by available females and do not need to be out searching! Lucky guys! I would also like to find a female who share some of my interests, but it seems taht so many women my age are not really active, so I amhaving difficulity there. I am a very outgoing person and reaerely meet a stranger, but i am frustrated by my inability to get a social life going here.
anyway, thanks for letting me vent. Thank God I have family here and I have my career and many hobbies to keep me occupied and happy! But a companion to cook or travel with would be so much fun. I am not ready for the rocking chair!
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I have one suggestion for you: Volunteer. There are so many opportunities to volunteer in this community and that is a GREAT way to meet other people. If you know anything about soccer or baseball many groups would love to have you as a coach. In Matthews there is an active Habitat for Humanity group - lots of men there  Spend a few hours on a Saturday hammering some nails and you might be surprised how nice those working around you are. Give church another chance - finding the right one could make all the difference. A larger one will most likely have book clubs, social groups, singles activities. I would recommend you visit Forest Hills on Park Rd some Sunday - not your typical boring church service, that's for sure. David Chadwick is their minister and he is a riviting speaker. Best of luck to you! |
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08-31-2007, 08:45 PM
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Location: southern california
61,281 posts, read 82,995,670 times
Reputation: 55458
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older people dating
it is a strange perception shared by many of my older friends.
we were born in one country as it were and find ourselves living in a very different one. we never moved its just every thing around us changed.
the great abraham lincoln said men use the same words but by using them mean very different things. certainly the expectations of women and men have changed a lot. it seems we used to know how people would act.
we expected less of them. it has been said that beauty and youth are very exchangable commodities. therefore dating for the young is much easier.
also there is the issue of value. just because something is valuable to most
does not mean that the potentional partner standing in front of you is looking for these qualities. perhaps they should be looking for these qualities perhaps they dont know why they are not attracted to these qualities but they are certainly in a position not to have to take the bait and instead, wait.
this results in strange scenarios. people in their 60's or late 50's going to dances non stop looking for movie stars (young movie stars) which they never find or if they do they dont take the bait. looking is more fun for them than finding. when they were 20 they were more interested in finding. for many getting dressed up just looking is more fun. for others trying to regain the thrill of their youth can be found by mild flirtations and taking the first step towards relationships social gatherings. for many it stops there. for many starbucks is the end of the road not the beginning.
with age comes prudence. necessity is a strong glue. prudence is a strong glue remover.
59 and a retired professional
stephen s
san diego
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10-19-2007, 09:12 PM
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Location: Charlotte, NC
1 posts, read 7,296 times
Reputation: 10
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Jody, I know this is October but did you ever get any good responses to your questions?
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05-25-2008, 02:00 PM
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Location: Indian Trail, Nc
2 posts, read 9,586 times
Reputation: 10
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Print it on your T shirt, you should get some response. Other people have done it, good luck
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05-26-2008, 08:24 AM
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4,222 posts, read 7,325,643 times
Reputation: 1571
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I don't know where you are from originally, but "shag" is a popular dance in the Carolina area. Although the word has a different meaning in the United Kingdom which may not be impotant, but baby boomers as well as some older and younger locals join shag clubs.. The music is great and the people are from all walks of life. From what I have seen, the clubs participate in different events, do charity things, go on trips and meet a couple of times a week if one desires to participate. I know that there is a Lake Norman Shag Club and Twisters Shag Cllub (named after a club called "Twisters). Lessons are given once or twice a week and it would be an excellent, fun opportunity to meet locals or newcomers. Give them a call. Might just be what you are looking for. Good luck.
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04-01-2013, 06:33 PM
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26 posts, read 52,951 times
Reputation: 38
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Advice for my mom...
My mom moved here from Boise and is missing her old "Cheers type" of hangout. Where there is a small bar, older people, maybe a sandwich for lunch and mixed drinks. It seems impossible to find in the Charlotte area. Any suggestions I will buy you a drink there! Please suggestions appreciated.
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04-01-2013, 06:43 PM
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Location: NC/SC Border Patrol
21,149 posts, read 24,125,241 times
Reputation: 23401
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In this area one might find more action at the local gym or golf course. I noticed Presbyterian Hospital in Matthews has some very good looking men volunteers. I am married so I did not check out whether they were but it is worth your time of day to check on it. They also have a place for the public to eat and many of the volunteers eat there too. Hope they don't get mad at me for posting this. Let's just say I was impressed with the quality of the volunteers when we went in for a procedure. It was hard to tell the volunteers from the staff. Everybody was very professional.
I guess I don't understand anyone that has trouble with a social life. My problem has always been the opposite. I try not to get too involved and have too many irons in the fire. My idea is to go about doing what you like and you will run into other people that like the same things.
Maybe you need to find reasons to shop at the local hardware store. My doctor's nurse asked me what I was doing since I retired and my answer was a lot of shopping. She then asked me where I shopped and I told her Lowe's. I don't need that many clothes any more but I am really into garden tools.
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04-02-2013, 09:33 AM
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241 posts, read 277,280 times
Reputation: 126
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jodyb
Hi, i'm new to this site and fairly new to Matthews, NC. I was reading some posts about social activities and dating in this area. I am over 50 and female and looking for other "ACTIVE older adults" in the general area. It seems, gauging from the posts I've read, that the soical and dating scene is deplorable for younger folks. It's even worse for us older active adults. No different from South Alabama, where I lived before here, but still there seems to be an equal scarcity of available dating material or social opportunities. I am a professional mental health counselor, so I know not to be judgemental or blame the geographical location. but I really thought that considering the abundance of businesses and people in this area, there would be more and better dating/socializing possibilities.
I am not fat or redneck, or ugly, based on feedback I get from males and females alike. I know others have used these terms in placing blame for their lack of success in dating. I do have some complaints, which I will not air yet, about the quality of men I am finding. Am I looking in the wrong places? No bars (it is so sad to see old women hanging out in bars!), not churches ( my experience is that men tend to shy away from there. I led a large singles group for over 10 years in Mobile, AL - I KNOW that scene!). I joined a very expensive singles club here and there were lots of lovely women there, but only a few males and those men were the ones who were limited in their social skills and/or had severe grooming problems. I guess the adult senior males that have it together are swamped by available females and do not need to be out searching! Lucky guys! I would also like to find a female who share some of my interests, but it seems taht so many women my age are not really active, so I amhaving difficulity there. I am a very outgoing person and reaerely meet a stranger, but i am frustrated by my inability to get a social life going here.
anyway, thanks for letting me vent. Thank God I have family here and I have my career and many hobbies to keep me occupied and happy! But a companion to cook or travel with would be so much fun. I am not ready for the rocking chair!
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Amazing! Are you still a mental health counselor? Read up on self confidence.  |
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