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Old 08-23-2008, 07:22 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,879 posts, read 77,146,032 times
Reputation: 22750

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So . . . it was my birthday . . . and DH decided to surprise me with my favorite pie: Strawberry Rhubarb. The only place we have found in town that carries Strawberry Rhubarb pie about like Grandma's is Fresh Market. Oh, nothing is more delightful than a good cup of java and delicious Strawberry Rhubarb pie.

DH comes home and says, "Thought I wasn't gonna make it out of the store w/ the pie - some woman was evidently set on Strawberry Rhubarb pie."

I am sitting at my desk, a long column of stats in front of me, calculator spitting out decimal points.

"Hmmm. How 'bout that," I say, distractedly.

"Yep," DH offers. "Thought I wasn't gonna get outta there w/ the pie."

"Well, glad you did," I offer, absorbed in my digits. I turn my head and smile at DH, attempting to show some interest, despite my distracted state.

"Yes, she followed me to the check out," he says as he walks off. "She said she would split it with me."

CLICK. Back of brain suddenly signals to frontal lobes. Awareness sets in. Fingers freeze in mid-air on calculator keypad. Frown crosses face.

"Wait a minute," I say, turning in my chair . . . "Now, what are you saying? Some woman followed you to the check-out over a PIE?"

"Yep," he says, "It was the strangest thing. I picked up the pie and this woman says - 'Oh, I love rhubarb pie' and I glanced over and she was smiling at me, pointing to the pie in my hand."

"She was smiling, was she?" I say. "And then what happened?"

"Wellllll," he says, slowly, trying to recall the encounter, "I say - "Yes, this is a birthday pie' and I went to the check-out."

Of course, we all know that men are not into details the way women are, so having to drag a conversation's details out of DH is nothing new.

"So she says she likes strawberry rhubarb pie, you say it is a birthday pie . . . you head to check out . . . so where did the part about splitting the pie come in?"

"Oh yeah," he says, "She said 'well does your wife life strawberry rhubarb pie' and I said 'yes she does' and she said 'well, too bad. I would have liked to have split that pie with you'."

"WHAT!!!! She said WHAT!!!!" my voice takes on a new pitch. "How old was this woman?"

Husband ponders a moment, "Oh, late 40s, maybe early 50s."

I process the info. "You mean to tell me, some gal comes up to you in the grocery store, asks if your wife likes a particular pie and then says she would have liked to split it with you? You gotta be kidding me."

"Yeah. What is the big deal?" he queries. "I guess Strawberry Rhubarb pie is pretty popular."

Now, at these moments, you just gotta wonder. Is he that naive? Cause if one's husband is that naive, he is ripe pickins' for a predatory female.

"Do you not realize what happened at the dessert counter?" I ask. "That woman was flirting with you! She asked if your wife liked the pie to find out if you were married!!! HELLO!!!"

"Oh," he says, "No wonder she made a comment about having some coffee and splitting the pie."

My head is spinning. You gotta be kidding me!!!

"Was she Southern?" I ask.

"Yep, she was Southern," DH relays.

"Okay. Oldest trick in the book. Southern women and pies." I say, with a sigh.

"What do you mean?" DH asks, puzzled expression on face.

"Chicken pie, banana pie, lasagna pie, hell any kinda pie," I blurt out, "Don't you know the routine?"

I am stunned. "How many times have I told you," I say, "that if I drop dead, beware the women who come knocking w/ pies in their hands."

DH is laughing. "What does a pie at the Fresh Market have to do with your dropping dead???" he asks, eyebrows lifted.

"It's the same thing! Divorced women, widowed women . . . they all use pies as a way to ingratiate themselves into a man's life!!!"

Now DH is convulsing in laughter. "You mean - when she said that - she was just checking out if I were married or not? And she was suggesting - some pie and coffee as a way to hook up???" DH is grinning. I notice a change in posture. He is now feeling very good about himself.

I roll my eyes.

Good grief.

Make mental note. Predatory females hover at Fresh Market 'cause the demographics are right that one will meet a lonely single male in upper income bracket as he rounds up goodies for his solitary meal at home alone.

Second mental note. Time to rent "Fatal Attraction" again . . . MEN.
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Old 08-23-2008, 07:40 AM
 
Location: Living near our Nation's Capitol since 2010
2,218 posts, read 3,439,698 times
Reputation: 6035
Sounds like she wanted to share more than just pie, Ani LOL

As a single female, I will have to go check out Fresh Markets haha
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Old 08-23-2008, 08:02 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,879 posts, read 77,146,032 times
Reputation: 22750
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlightAttendant View Post
Sounds like she wanted to share more than just pie, Ani LOL

As a single female, I will have to go check out Fresh Markets haha
ROFL! Yep, I actually started a book back years ago about strategies for women to use to meet upper income bracket men, LOL! I suppose that is why I was so sensitive to my DH's little story!!!

Maybe I should finish up that book????? I think there may be a market!!!

And yes, sounds like that pie (and a cup of coffee) wasn't the only thing thing Miss Fresh Market was interested in sharing . . .
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Old 08-23-2008, 08:23 AM
 
Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
23,809 posts, read 34,468,700 times
Reputation: 10256
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
So . . . it was my birthday . . . and DH decided to surprise me with my favorite pie: Strawberry Rhubarb. The only place we have found in town that carries Strawberry Rhubarb pie about like Grandma's is Fresh Market. Oh, nothing is more delightful than a good cup of java and delicious Strawberry Rhubarb pie.

DH comes home and says, "Thought I wasn't gonna make it out of the store w/ the pie - some woman was evidently set on Strawberry Rhubarb pie."

I am sitting at my desk, a long column of stats in front of me, calculator spitting out decimal points.

"Hmmm. How 'bout that," I say, distractedly.

"Yep," DH offers. "Thought I wasn't gonna get outta there w/ the pie."

"Well, glad you did," I offer, absorbed in my digits. I turn my head and smile at DH, attempting to show some interest, despite my distracted state.

"Yes, she followed me to the check out," he says as he walks off. "She said she would split it with me."

CLICK. Back of brain suddenly signals to frontal lobes. Awareness sets in. Fingers freeze in mid-air on calculator keypad. Frown crosses face.

"Wait a minute," I say, turning in my chair . . . "Now, what are you saying? Some woman followed you to the check-out over a PIE?"

"Yep," he says, "It was the strangest thing. I picked up the pie and this woman says - 'Oh, I love rhubarb pie' and I glanced over and she was smiling at me, pointing to the pie in my hand."

"She was smiling, was she?" I say. "And then what happened?"

"Wellllll," he says, slowly, trying to recall the encounter, "I say - "Yes, this is a birthday pie' and I went to the check-out."

Of course, we all know that men are not into details the way women are, so having to drag a conversation's details out of DH is nothing new.

"So she says she likes strawberry rhubarb pie, you say it is a birthday pie . . . you head to check out . . . so where did the part about splitting the pie come in?"

"Oh yeah," he says, "She said 'well does your wife life strawberry rhubarb pie' and I said 'yes she does' and she said 'well, too bad. I would have liked to have split that pie with you'."

"WHAT!!!! She said WHAT!!!!" my voice takes on a new pitch. "How old was this woman?"

Husband ponders a moment, "Oh, late 40s, maybe early 50s."

I process the info. "You mean to tell me, some gal comes up to you in the grocery store, asks if your wife likes a particular pie and then says she would have liked to split it with you? You gotta be kidding me."

"Yeah. What is the big deal?" he queries. "I guess Strawberry Rhubarb pie is pretty popular."

Now, at these moments, you just gotta wonder. Is he that naive? Cause if one's husband is that naive, he is ripe pickins' for a predatory female.

"Do you not realize what happened at the dessert counter?" I ask. "That woman was flirting with you! She asked if your wife liked the pie to find out if you were married!!! HELLO!!!"

"Oh," he says, "No wonder she made a comment about having some coffee and splitting the pie."

My head is spinning. You gotta be kidding me!!!

"Was she Southern?" I ask.

"Yep, she was Southern," DH relays.

"Okay. Oldest trick in the book. Southern women and pies." I say, with a sigh.

"What do you mean?" DH asks, puzzled expression on face.

"Chicken pie, banana pie, lasagna pie, hell any kinda pie," I blurt out, "Don't you know the routine?"

I am stunned. "How many times have I told you," I say, "that if I drop dead, beware the women who come knocking w/ pies in their hands."

DH is laughing. "What does a pie at the Fresh Market have to do with your dropping dead???" he asks, eyebrows lifted.

"It's the same thing! Divorced women, widowed women . . . they all use pies as a way to ingratiate themselves into a man's life!!!"

Now DH is convulsing in laughter. "You mean - when she said that - she was just checking out if I were married or not? And she was suggesting - some pie and coffee as a way to hook up???" DH is grinning. I notice a change in posture. He is now feeling very good about himself.

I roll my eyes.

Good grief.

Make mental note. Predatory females hover at Fresh Market 'cause the demographics are right that one will meet a lonely single male in upper income bracket as he rounds up goodies for his solitary meal at home alone.

Second mental note. Time to rent "Fatal Attraction" again . . . MEN.
Ani, Around here supermarket/grocery stores are pick-up areas. I'll bet it's the same there. Here it's usually men attempting (badly) to pick up women. At one point some of the supermarkets even tried "singles nights".

Just tell your husband that the next time a woman follows him, to ask her "Why are you following me?" It's in his midwestern DNA to ask that. That'll back off all but the most persistant, and for them, he can just keep repeating I'm married, I'm married, I'm married...........................
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Old 08-23-2008, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Moon Over Palmettos
5,978 posts, read 19,842,521 times
Reputation: 5102
LOL Ani! Y'know K is just going through midlife crisis again! (Yeah you can tell him I said so!). Must have made him feel reeeallllly reallllly good that some chick is pickin' up on him! Good for the ego!
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Old 08-23-2008, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Lake Norman, NC
8,875 posts, read 13,849,352 times
Reputation: 35985
Dang, that means I've been wasting my time hanging around the Produce aisle??? Sounds like all the action is over by the pie section!!!
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Old 08-23-2008, 09:08 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,879 posts, read 77,146,032 times
Reputation: 22750
Bibit: Sheeeeezzzzz. Like I said . . . time to remind DH about dead bunnies and stalker females.

SouthBound: Don't kid yourself. Midwestern or not - DH loves the female attention. (What man doesn't?????) What he doesn't love is the Wrath of Anifani.

Miss Fresh Market better be glad I wasn't within earshot. Strawberry Rhubarb wouldn't look so nice dripping down her favorite Lilly Pulitzer.

For those of you not aware of Lilly Pulitzer . . . the quintessential Southern Belle clothing:

Lilly Pulitzer, http://www.lillypulitzer.com
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Old 08-23-2008, 09:10 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,879 posts, read 77,146,032 times
Reputation: 22750
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stripes17 View Post
Dang, that means I've been wasting my time hanging around the Produce aisle??? Sounds like all the action is over by the pie section!!!
Sounds like it is, Stripes. But you gotta dress right. Golf clothes (or business attire) preferred. Look successful and confused. You may be surprised who steps in to "help."
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Old 08-23-2008, 09:52 AM
 
Location: The 12th State
22,974 posts, read 65,299,053 times
Reputation: 15075
I sometimes wonder if you are dating Bob Lacey.. lmao

Ok I will confess buttermilk pie is my weakness.
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Old 08-23-2008, 09:52 AM
 
Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
23,809 posts, read 34,468,700 times
Reputation: 10256
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stripes17 View Post
Dang, that means I've been wasting my time hanging around the Produce aisle??? Sounds like all the action is over by the pie section!!!
Stripes, anywhere will do in a supermarket. Really, I have found them in every aisle of Pathmark. The trick is to not lose your dignity.

If I find you, staring blankly in the frozen food aisle, appearing to be comatose but standing, or possibly meditating, & I ask you if you need help, if you tell me you need the paper plates, I will assume that you have no dignity or imagination, & will usher you to the proximity of the paper plates & get out of there so fast you won't see my dust.

If I find you in produce, staring a hole in the squash, & you tell me that you are confused by the different types &/or don't know what to do with them, I'll explain it to you, but if you start babbling about something unrelated, I'll get you to the proximity of what you're after & vanish.

The absolute worst is the "I can't pack what I bought" at the bag your own line at the check out. It ain't brain surgery, & if you can't figure it out, why are you in the bag your own line?

Last edited by southbound_295; 08-23-2008 at 10:04 AM..
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