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Old 02-26-2007, 10:06 AM
 
31 posts, read 101,159 times
Reputation: 17

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Question for the group (and I hope I don't offend anyone by asking this)

I've noticed it more here in Charlotte than in some other parts of the country - but what is the thought process behind identifying yourself through your children?

For example: I have seen numerous times on people's license plate tags things such as "Shea's mom" or "Lane's mom" or people online using similar monikers.

I understand at certain times it makes sense to identify yourself that way (Children's social settings; online children or parents groups).

I am a proud parent and often speak about my children to others, but really try to keep my identity (and while most of my life revolves around my family) let my kids know that I have my own life that sometime doesn't involve them (Friends, etc)

Is it a detriment to the child to make things a little too centered around them?
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Old 02-26-2007, 10:56 AM
 
132 posts, read 439,828 times
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Well since I am one of those moms LOL....and no, I am not offended at all. I go by "thebearsmom" mostly because waaaaay back when I started to participate in message boards, they were related to parenting. I chose the name thebearsmom because that's what I was on those boards My daughter's nickname since birth has been "The Bear". I have kept it that way even though I could have changed it to thebearandboysmom when we had our son...a little long, don't ya think? I guess I just kept the name for other non-chilren related baords because it's easier to remember one id!

I see where you are coming from, but my screen name and my parenting are totally separate things. Yes, I do think it is a detriment to have a child the center of a family. My kids know they are part of a whole- "the family", and that mom and dad are in charge. We have our own lives, and we make sure the kids see us as a married couple (date nights, weekends away etc) and as individuals with our own identity as well.

There are a whole lot of little princesses and princes running around out there with no sense of respect for authority because of exactly what you are talking about. We don't go there in our house though!

Anita
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Old 02-26-2007, 11:29 AM
 
217 posts, read 835,910 times
Reputation: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by CD&Z View Post
Question for the group (and I hope I don't offend anyone by asking this)

I've noticed it more here in Charlotte than in some other parts of the country - but what is the thought process behind identifying yourself through your children?

For example: I have seen numerous times on people's license plate tags things such as "Shea's mom" or "Lane's mom" or people online using similar monikers.

I understand at certain times it makes sense to identify yourself that way (Children's social settings; online children or parents groups).

I am a proud parent and often speak about my children to others, but really try to keep my identity (and while most of my life revolves around my family) let my kids know that I have my own life that sometime doesn't involve them (Friends, etc)

Is it a detriment to the child to make things a little too centered around them?
Sure sometimes people may know who my kid is but not know my name. I will say, "I am Deb, Matthew and Jacob's mom"

I do not know if what you are talking about will cause harm. I think there is a differnce between putting them first and letting them get away with murder. I think if the parent never disciplines the kid cause they think the kid is perfect that will cause harm If the parent has no life for them self and still diciplines the kid I thnk more harm will come to the parent. SOme to the kid too, havinga burned out parent.

I am like you, most of my life revoles around the kids. Once a month my husband and I get a sitter and go out. I make some time for my friends.
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Old 02-26-2007, 01:16 PM
 
Location: Rhode Island
476 posts, read 1,481,501 times
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I never thought about the screen name thing in that respect. Such a good topic. I think there is a definite mix of great parenting and over the top parenting on these boards. Not even so much this one as a couple of others out there. I also adore my children but know that someday they will be grown and have lives of their own and I still need to be able to enjoy and relate to my husband when that happens because he is the one that will be by my side. I think some folks forget that when they have kids. It is definitely not an easy balance. In fact, I am not sure it is even balanced but I know my family works at it every day. There are definitely more than enough "Prince and Princesses" running around out there with no discipline, direction, value core. Again another great topic to ponder.
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Old 02-26-2007, 02:16 PM
 
197 posts, read 685,917 times
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I'm not sure of the thought process. I think in moms groups or parents groups it is prevelant because the group focuses on that part of life. I have seen license plates around though that say "----'s mom" and I wonder the same thing...
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Old 02-26-2007, 02:33 PM
 
Location: Tampa Bay Area Florida
7,937 posts, read 18,566,547 times
Reputation: 2006
I agree. My children are my focus however I also do make time for my friends, like when they are in school all day I make it a point to have lunch with them a few times a week or just walk around somewhere or just have coffee...The evenings are for dh and I once they go to bed which is about 9pm...unfortunatley though when we move we wont have a sitter and well my mom and dad watch our kids 2 sats a monthn so dh and I cna go out...oh well some things are a sacrifice..lol...I will settle for a lunch with dh when the kiddies are in school...
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Old 02-26-2007, 02:44 PM
 
Location: Union County, NC
1,895 posts, read 5,718,385 times
Reputation: 772
Quote:
Originally Posted by NJmomof2 View Post
I agree. My children are my focus however I also do make time for my friends, like when they are in school all day I make it a point to have lunch with them a few times a week or just walk around somewhere or just have coffee...The evenings are for dh and I once they go to bed which is about 9pm...unfortunatley though when we move we wont have a sitter and well my mom and dad watch our kids 2 sats a monthn so dh and I cna go out...oh well some things are a sacrifice..lol...I will settle for a lunch with dh when the kiddies are in school...
Hey Staci after you move once a month I'll trade babysitting with you...I'll watch yours once a month if you'll watch mine
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Old 02-26-2007, 02:45 PM
 
Location: Tampa Bay Area Florida
7,937 posts, read 18,566,547 times
Reputation: 2006
Your ON my friend....I will take u up on that...However what do we do when WE want to go out together??? LOL...ummmm
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Old 02-26-2007, 03:20 PM
 
Location: Rhode Island
476 posts, read 1,481,501 times
Reputation: 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by NJmomof2 View Post
Your ON my friend....I will take u up on that...However what do we do when WE want to go out together??? LOL...ummmm
I would also love to get involved in a babysitting tradeoff with you guys. Of course, like you said, what do we do when we all want to hang out.
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Old 02-26-2007, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Tampa Bay Area Florida
7,937 posts, read 18,566,547 times
Reputation: 2006
ahhhh see great minds think alike
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