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For those of you who have recently moved to Charlotte...did any of you and your spouses move in "shifts"? I mean, did any of you move out, and then a few days/weeks/months later, your spouse followed, or vice versa? If so, how long were you there before your spouse came? Why did s/he stay behind?...to finish selling your home, earn extra income until an employer in Charlotte hired you, finish out the kids' school year, any other reason I may not be thining of?
I suggested to my husband that maybe I should move to Charlotte, while he stays here for a while. I thought maybe that way, I can work there (my job is telecommutable from anywhere), rent a short-term apartment, and I can get to know areas/neighborhoods and do a preliminary house hunt for us. Also, he'd be able to use my temporary Charlotte address for his resume, since it seems a lot of potential employers aren't really interested in him because he doesn't live in Charlotte yet.
He can stay here and work at his current job until our house sells and/or he gets a job in Charlotte. Then, he could move there, and we could buy a house fairly soon afterward, instead of first trying to get to know the areas and house-hunt at that point, since it may be months from now. Basically, me moving there would give us a little "head start."
He's against it...doesn't want to be separated for that long (which is sweet, but maybe not very practical??) He seems to think we'd be weird for splitting up like that...even though it would only be temporary. He thinks only couples who are having marriage problems would be willing to live in separate cities (we just got married last year). I told him I think it's pretty common for couples to do that, in this type of situation, but I could be wrong. Is that a dumb idea? Does it put too much of a strain on a marriage? Do you wish you had/had not done it that way? Did it work out for the best?
This is really bothering us, because we can't decide what to do...ANY insight would be much appreciated!
Location: Some got six month some got one solid. But me and my buddies all got lifetime here
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Originally Posted by AOYAS
For those of you who have recently moved to Charlotte...did any of you and your spouses move in "shifts"? I mean, did any of you move out, and then a few days/weeks/months later, your spouse followed, or vice versa? If so, how long were you there before your spouse came? Why did s/he stay behind?...to finish selling your home, earn extra income until an employer in Charlotte hired you, finish out the kids' school year, any other reason I may not be thining of?
I suggested to my husband that maybe I should move to Charlotte, while he stays here for a while. I thought maybe that way, I can work there (my job is telecommutable from anywhere), and a short-term apartment, and I can get to know areas/neighborhoods and do a preliminary house hunt for us. Also, he'd be able to use my temporary Charlotte address for his resume, since it seems a lot of potential employers aren't really interested in him because he doesn't live in Charlotte yet.
He can stay here and work at his current job until our house sells and/or he gets a job. Then, he could move to Charlotte, and we could buy a house fairly soon afterward, instead of first trying to get to know the areas and house-hunt at that point, since it may be months from now. Basically, me moving there would give us a little "head start."
He's against it...doesn't want to be separated for that long (which is sweet, but maybe not very practical??) He seems to think we'd be weird for splitting up like that...even though it would only be temporary. He seems to think only couples who are having marriage problems would be willing to live in separate cities (we just got married last year). I told him I think it's pretty common for couples to do that, in this type of situation, but I could be wrong. Is that a dumb idea? Does it put too much of a strain on a marriage? Do you wish you had/had not done it that way?
This is really bothering us, because we can't decide what to do...ANY insight would be much appreciated!
Some people who moved down here with a Wachovia relocation came here without the spouse. One guy left his wife and kid behind for several months while she worked on selling the house. Another left her husband and son behind for a couple of months until they were able to make it down. It happened in a few other instances that I'm personally aware of, so it is common and very practical. That doesn't mean you don't love one another or you have marriage problems, it's just the most practical way to go about things.
Like I've said...if anyone gets a job offer, even if it means splitting up for a couple of months, you're an absolute fool if you don't take it. There's too many people coming down here at once. The one time you turn down an offer could be the last one you get for months.
Common occurrence and practical. Have done it myself although not for this move but years ago it was necessary that my DH stay behind in Jersey while I left immediately for Maryland. We had a long-distance marriage for just under a year.
In fact, we've experienced this at different times while I was active duty military.
Marriages not only survive these type of scenarios but in many instances the relationships strengthen. Very exciting to "hook up" when time and schedules permit.
Good luck and best wishes to you and your husband.
Common occurrence and practical. Have done it myself although not for this move but years ago it was necessary that my DH stay behind in Jersey while I left immediately for Maryland. We had a long-distance marriage for just under a year.
In fact, we've experienced this at different times while I was active duty military.
Marriages not only survive these type of scenarios but in many instances the relationships strengthen. Very exciting to "hook up" when time and schedules permit.
Good luck and best wishes to you and your husband.
SL
"Hooking up" with your hubby, HAHAHA -that made me smile (to think of married people actually hooking up with the person they are actually married to!!!)
This is something we have thought of doing. Having dh go down first and get 'established.' Get work there and have the address for the both of us. He could be working towards that 3mo time period in which to get healthcare ins for us and so forth. He says he cant do it. Can't go to sleep without me, and he is a truck driver and no sleep=bad news. I can understand that....
We too assume we will have to do it as it is unlikely a job offer and house sale will happen simultaneously. Not looking forward to doing it but definitely seems like the nature of the beast and our desire to relocate is strong enough to move forward. Best of luck to all of you.
My fiance moved 1st (job transfer went through earlier than expected), and the children and I moved 3 weeks later after he closed on the new house (old house was already sold--he flew back up and we all drove down--that was an adventure and a whole other story ).
We was staying in an extended-stay place, and we were staying with his mom for those 3 weeks.
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