Making friends in Charlotte (Boone: live, store, moving)
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You know, you really have some good suggestions here and you shoot everything down. That may be why you don't make friends, do you shoot them down, too? You come up with every excuse why this isn't good or that it won't work. Maybe if you spent as much time figuring out what to do instead of making excuses, you'd find something that you would enjoy and meet people.
I have 2 dogs that sit in their crates while I work. It doesn't hurt them and they stay out of trouble that way. I give them a little treat and make sure they have chewies. Depending on the size of a dog, a 6 month old dog can usually remain in a crate for 7 hours a day without a problem. Or you could take them to doggy daycare. The dog park is a good idea, too, or taking them to dog training classes. There is also a dog bar in NoDa, but I haven't been there, yet. Dogs are great and people love to talk about them, kind of like kids!
There are all kinds of races in this area and since you have an interest in cars, why don't you go to them? Also, there are swap meets and drive-ins where car enthusiasts get together. If you went to something car oriented, you will find others there that are into cars and can tell you where things are or what to do. There's also the virtual racing at Concord Mills Mall. You might enjoy that.
What about Charlotte Meetups? Maybe you'll find something interesting there? Seems like I've seen dinners organized at meeting locations and all kinds of varying things. Google Charlotte Meetups.
Since you don't drink and there is obviously some kind of an issue there, what about AA or Ala-non?
Why don't you and your wife organize a party and flyer your neighbors? That way people that are interested in socializing come to your home. You can have all kinds of props set up for you to talk about. Also, you could put a RSVP on it so you know how many are coming, ask them each to bring a dish, etc. That way they will call or email you and ask you what you need.
Or why don't you join your HOA, if you have one? They always need volunteers and it would be a way for you to meet others. You would have something in common with them, too, your neighborhood and home values.
You know, it wouldn't kill you to go for a walk in your neighborhood, maybe with your new dog. Those 30-somethings might not be that bad. You might be surprised and have more in common with them than you think. I have a lot of neighbors that are older than me and younger than me, and I enjoy them all.
What does your wife like to do?
I think you need to open your mind and give something a chance here, if not what I recommended, what someone else recommended. You also need to really enjoy yourself so you are more approachable, kind of like dating...
me and my wife recently moved here from Myrtle Beach, and while we love it here, our social life is missing. did the downtown Y thing for a minute since my office is downtown, and its basically go in, work out, leave. and thats it. no kids for several years. hopefully. i'm 26, and my wife just turned 30 this week. shes from Jerusalem, and i have issues with the church. so meeting friends at church is non-existent. we have a peek-a-poo, but the dog parks have been fruitless. and everyone in our neighborhood is 35+. dont get me wrong, have went out plenty of nights with business associates that are 40+, and enjoyed it, but they simply dont have the stamina, or kids that they have to go home to, as us. frequent blumenthal regularly, but everyone else there is decades older. everywhere we go out to eat, we are the same age as the servers. so dont feel alone in that you've shot down these other ideas, but they simply dont apply to us. i guess we're going to try some sports leagues next. if you figure anything out, please let us know.
I also find it hard to meet people at the Y, unless you share a "special interest" like yoga or spinning, etc. But if you just go into the Y, throw your headphones on and hit the treadmill for 30 mins, then leave - it's pretty tough to meet anyone that way.
CHOA or MeetUp are both good avenues to meet people with common interests, IMO.
Do we need to start up a "Young CD'ers Club" or something? (Oops, I'll be 35 this year! Not so young...)
I can't believe we have threads on making friends.
From kindergarden to the retirement home, you make friends by being a friend to someone, or gathering with others who enjoy your same hobbies/interests. There are so many small groups that meet on a regular basis around town that it would make your head spin.
Heck, we even have an active Hash House Harriers combining running and drinking (of all things).
There has been some great suggestions in this thread.
I think volunteering is a good idea. Here is a really good organization that draws a lot of people in to volunteer who are in their 20s.
Hands on Charlotte (http://www.handsoncharlotte.org/AboutUs/index.php/index.html - broken link)
I also really like Volunteer Match, a super online service that puts you in touch w/ organizations nearby your location. I put in my zip code and here is what I got:
Go to that page and put your zip in and see what appeals to you.
When I relocated f/ NC to Kansas City metro . . . I immediately got involved in volunteering. After a few meetings, people just naturally will say - how about a cup of coffee when the meeting is over? Or . . . working w/ people on a projects (like Habitat for Humanity) you will start talking w/ others while working and sometimes find a person you would like to meet up with later. So you end up going out to dinner as couples and making new friends.
So I would suggest finding a volunteer opp and see where that leads.
I don't think it is easy to make friends and I am an outgoing, accessible person. We are all so busy w/ our lives and routines (and commitments) that it takes some planning and effort to get together with others - even people who have a mutual interesting in getting to know one another better.
When you do meet someone you think may have some mutual interests with you and your wife, have some ideas of places to meet up in mind ahead of time. You don't have to spend a lot of money going out to eat on a Friday nite (two couples) . . . you can meet and greet at a coffee shop or someplace like Panera Bread . . . after work, for lunch or on the weekend.
Also, if you meet another couple you like - think about suggesting an event or activity where you can meet up - something sports related - or maybe a festival on a Saturday afternoon. Put yourself out there . . . you never know when you may meet someone who has similar interests.
I must admit as a returning native, Charlotte isn't the friendly city it used to be. It has been overtaken by people from places that have differing ideas of hospitality. Although, I have not really had anyone be rude when I made the first attempt at friendliness. If you are a native, it helps to have thick skin. You will likely be insulted by a disgruntal newcomer. But don't dispare, there are an equal number of happy ones. Join a health club or volunteer at a school or performing arts venue. I meet most of my friends at bars. My wife doesn' t usually like them though. Normal people scare me. LOL! Good luck.
Vindaloo - I agree. Charlotte isn't the friendly place it was 20 years ago. I noticed this immediately upon moving back. I have found that outlying areas are more friendly, such as Kannapolis. There are still a lot of natives there and perhaps it is just the fact that when I open my mouth they realize I am another native, LOL, but I feel more "in my element" in some of the smaller towns around Charlotte than right in Charlotte these days. Now, I have my own paths where I know people who will greet me, of course, and who are familiar. But what I am talking about is that friendly atmosphere I used to feel 20 years ago - like - when you walk into a post office and people are standing around and they all nod and say "How are you?" and people make small talk and banter back and forth even tho they have never met. I rarely have that experience in Charlotte any longer, even tho I usually TRY to be friendly and open to others.
It used to be when someone saw me across a restaurant - they would walk over and greet me, ask how we are doing, etc. That was "small town Southern friendliness." These days, I don't look around to see if I know anyone cause most likely I won't - Charlotte has gotten too big to run into people I know. But a stylist at the salon I frequent told me she saw me at Panera the other day - and hesitated about saying HELLO b/c she didn't want to look like a stalker! I said - HUH? Cause I would have been very happy to see her and introduce her to my friends. I thought - things have just changed. In years past, it would have been rude NOT to have come over and said hello. These days, people worry that saying HI will be thought of as rude or interruptive or an invasion of someone's privacy.
So yes, things have changed. My hubby loves it when we go to Boone. People we know - people we have only seen other places - and people we have never seen b/f in our lives - greet us wherever we go, start conversations, share info, etc. w/o restraint. DH loves to sit on benches and see how many people come by to start a conversation. He swears he gets treated like the Mayor of Boone when we go up there, LOL. That is what the South was like in the past. I sure hope we can retain that warm friendliness that made it so easy to feel at home in western NC, but I fear we are losing that charm day by day.
Anti- I believe that locals are so used to hearing so much criticism about greeting strangers on the street, welcoming neighbors, invitations to churches, and other forms of genuine kindness that it is no longer a common practice. Natives don't want to annoy newcomers and be criticized. I have spend all of my adult life in large cities. I like a combination of city amenities, friendliness, and hospitality. Pretty scarce these days. Unfortunately, I suppose we will have to accept that things have changed and our culture has been diluted. Nevertheless, I shall continue to be friendly, hospitable, and a motor mouth so help me god.
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feel the same
