Is there a Chicago suburb that is friendly and open-minded? (Evanston: apartment, neighborhoods)

[Oak Park resident]

Hubby feels that uprooting would just be taking a gamble as well. I agree we probably could have landed on a friendlier block in Oak Park. Our elementary school has been great academically, but again the social situation has been disappointing. As we think about middle school and high school, I worry the kids will become even more segregated.

[chitownperson]

I think a lot comes down to luck, unless you know of specific blocks that have the vibe you like, but I guess asking friends, or attending block parties could be a couple of ways to get a feel. As far as segregation goes... similar (sort of) suburbs like Evanston are worse off where the less affluent black kids don't meet the affluent white kids until high school, and then they are all suppose to get along? You don't hear about segregation issues a lot of other suburbs because they either have a huge white majority or black majority. In communities where they have say a lot of Chinese, or Indian etc... you can almost be certain that they'll not be mingling with other ethnic group on any notable level... Ethnic groups in Chicago tend to stick to their own for the most part, hence Chinatown, Devon ave...

I know how an unfriendly block can really impact your quality of life, but if you ask me, I'd give Oak Park another go, as there are good blocks with good people.

[middle-aged mom]

Originally Posted by Oak Park resident

Instead we find ourselves surrounded by many uptight white 30-somethings who cling together in little cliques, avoid the black people who do live here and are quick to pass judgment on anyone with a non-conforming viewpoint.

This could be just about anywhere in the U.S. People have a tendency to gravitate towards echo chambers. Having said this, with a population of about 52K, it is impossible for everyone in Oak Park to think and behave alike. Painting all with the same broad brush seems a tad bit judgmental, too.

[oakparkdude]

Originally Posted by Oak Park resident

We moved our biracial family to Oak Park a few years ago in hopes of finding a warm and welcoming place to put down roots and share our lives with people from all walks of life. Instead we find ourselves surrounded by many uptight white 30-somethings who cling together in little cliques, avoid the black people who do live here and are quick to pass judgment on anyone with a non-conforming viewpoint. Besides enjoying hearing themselves talk, these neighbors seem mostly interested in telling other people what to eat and on what type of re-usable plate! We would like to find a suburb where we can live peacefully among neighbors who are tolerant and respectful of each other, with the wisdom to agree to disagree when the situation calls for it. Does such a place exist?

Sounds like you're looking for a community filled with angels, not human beings. And I second what middle-aged mom said, you seem to be guilty of some of the things you're complaining about. In our personal experience, we've found Oak Park to be very welcoming and inclusive.

[aga412]

Originally Posted by Vlajos

The OP is asking for an open minded suburb, non of those mentioned will fit the bill. Most are likely worse the Oak Park.

Oh we meet again! Well, while I don't have firsthand experience living in those cities, I do live next door to Aurora in Batavia (aka that place you refer to as a run down slum), I have family in Bolingbrook, and friends in the Schaumburg/Palatine/Hoffman Estates area. I have heard that, and seen that, all of these areas are pretty diverse for Chicago suburbs, due to the fact they are bigger cities, and I suppose, a bit more urban. So I don't think they are to be ruled out. Also, you neglected to mention my broader post of suburbs closer to Chicago or the bigger cities.

[Tex?Il?]

Originally Posted by Oak Park resident

We moved our biracial family to Oak Park a few years ago in hopes of finding a warm and welcoming place to put down roots and share our lives with people from all walks of life. Instead we find ourselves surrounded by many uptight white 30-somethings who cling together in little cliques, avoid the black people who do live here and are quick to pass judgment on anyone with a non-conforming viewpoint. Besides enjoying hearing themselves talk, these neighbors seem mostly interested in telling other people what to eat and on what type of re-usable plate! We would like to find a suburb where we can live peacefully among neighbors who are tolerant and respectful of each other, with the wisdom to agree to disagree when the situation calls for it. Does such a place exist?

I'm sorry you have found this to be your experience. That is a shame.

May I ask where you have lived previously?

[chicagojlo]

Your kids will make friends in middle and high school that live all over the place. They won't limit themselves to their block, and neither should you.

[Oak Park resident]

Again, I really do appreciate the encouraging comments about broadening our circles to find friends within a community. We lived contentedly on both sides of Chicago and in the northern suburbs as a younger couple before children. We both grew up in segregated parts of the Chicago area in the '60s and '70s. Oak Park did seem a logical destination for raising biracial kids. My surprise is at the extent to which backyard parties and children's playgroups in my neighborhood are not integrated. The churches in town seem segregated too from what I can tell. I am being judgmental in that I do find this unacceptable. I think people don't want to think about it anymore. So I came to this forum, because I really hope to get a sense of whether there are suburbs, as well as parts of Oak Park, where people are interested in making friends with people from different backgrounds. I know things have improved a lot since I was growing up in the area, and I'd like to learn more about how they suburbs have changed, hopefully for the better.

[Brssplr]

Have you tried searching for organizations or groups of people who share a common interest as you? For example, something like urban farming, organic living, social justice groups, Middle Eastern peace advocacy groups, coffee discussion groups, etc.? You might also consider joining Meetup www.meetup.com/about to search for groups in your area which might have people who have common interests.

[middle-aged mom]

There is an Oak Park/River Forest Newcomers Club. There are adult and kid events as well as community service opportunities.