Highland Park snobbery? (Chicago, Glencoe, Woodlawn: neighborhoods, living in, move to) - Chicago Suburbs - Illinois (IL) - Page 4 - City-Data Forum

cohdane · 08-24-2009, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paige65

Do you have school age children yet? If you do, get involved on a PTO Committee, or suggest a coffee for people who are new to the school if they don't have one. You could do this at your child's preschool as well. If your child is an infant, Family Network is probably your best bet.

Great idea on the PTO. Most PTO's have a "Welcoming Committee"-- lots of the families you'd interact with would be new to the area.

Also...realized I didn't mention in my post that HP (to my perception) has a significantly higher than standard ratio of families who have lived in the neighborhood for generations-- so the "childhood friend" phenomenon is more pronounced than it would be in other communities.

indiacat · 08-31-2009, 09:41 PM

I've lived in the city, Evanston and now in Highland Park..I have found all three places to have it's share of unfriendly people with attitudes and I have found all three places to have friendly, welcoming and warm individuals. A community is what you decide to make it..finding friends in parks won't happen, but joining groups and getting to know your children's friends parents is the key. Preconceived judgments, or quick judgments for that matter, often cloud what we see and allow only the negative to continue to be viewed.

We moved to Highland Park because of what it could offer our young children and we have taken advantage of all it offers...which is great for families. Yes, many people grew up here and have their own circles, but my husband and I choose to view this as a positive reflection of the city and what it offers for those who choose to live here and become part of it's community. Over time you'll find your own community here.

Interestingly enough, I have found some mothers from Deerfield to be quite unfriendly and down right rude...I guess it's all in the eye of the beholder

Anthera · 09-01-2009, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by indiacat

I've lived in the city, Evanston and now in Highland Park..I have found all three places to have it's share of unfriendly people with attitudes and I have found all three places to have friendly, welcoming and warm individuals. A community is what you decide to make it..finding friends in parks won't happen, but joining groups and getting to know your children's friends parents is the key. Preconceived judgments, or quick judgments for that matter, often cloud what we see and allow only the negative to continue to be viewed.

We moved to Highland Park because of what it could offer our young children and we have taken advantage of all it offers...which is great for families. Yes, many people grew up here and have their own circles, but my husband and I choose to view this as a positive reflection of the city and what it offers for those who choose to live here and become part of it's community. Over time you'll find your own community here.

Interestingly enough, I have found some mothers from Deerfield to be quite unfriendly and down right rude...I guess it's all in the eye of the beholder

Excellent post!

GoCUBS1 · 09-01-2009, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by indiacat

I've lived in the city, Evanston and now in Highland Park..I have found all three places to have it's share of unfriendly people with attitudes and I have found all three places to have friendly, welcoming and warm individuals. A community is what you decide to make it..finding friends in parks won't happen, but joining groups and getting to know your children's friends parents is the key. Preconceived judgments, or quick judgments for that matter, often cloud what we see and allow only the negative to continue to be viewed.

We moved to Highland Park because of what it could offer our young children and we have taken advantage of all it offers...which is great for families. Yes, many people grew up here and have their own circles, but my husband and I choose to view this as a positive reflection of the city and what it offers for those who choose to live here and become part of it's community. Over time you'll find your own community here.

Interestingly enough, I have found some mothers from Deerfield to be quite unfriendly and down right rude...I guess it's all in the eye of the beholder

Good post.... I've also been a newcomer to nicer communities with a large percentage of educated parents who were born there and then came back to raise their children there... I also think this is a testament to how great the community is for raising a family... I agree w/the posters who recommended joing school/community/church groups (e.g. PTO, Newcomer Associations, etc.). I have met some of my closest friends (and so have my kids) through these organizations.

Parents are so VERY BUSY nowadays and it's sometimes hard to find time to introduce yourself to new people. And if they already have lots of friends from childhood, they may not make as much of an effort. Working together on volunteer projects is a great way to meet new people.

Also, as a newcomer, I recommend you keep your attitude friendly and upbeat even when you encounter the "snobbiness" (I know - easier said than done). You'll attract people that way and you never know which of those "snobby" people you'll have to interact with in the future.... As they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer...

Sarah H. · 09-02-2009, 09:08 AM

Sunsmile- HP can be tough to break into. As others have said, so many adults there lived there as kids, their parents are friends, and they have no need to make new friends and have never learned to be welcoming because they've never been an outsider. That being said, there are also many who grew up there but who'd like to meet newcomers and expand their own circles. HP is a community of educated, politically active and creative people. There are some who are more into shopping and gossip (the HP reputation) than living fulfilling lives, but this is not just an HP phenomenon, although it can seem that way.

Try to meet others as best you can so when your lease is up you can decide if you want to stay or not. If you don't feel part of the community and there's no reason to stay. There are plenty of other places you may enjoy with strong Jewish communities. It's unfortunate that you feel unwelcome and if your instincts tell you this place isn't right then maybe it isn't. You said you've moved before so it's not like you've never had to make new friends. Is something else going on? Did you just have a baby or stop working? If so you may need friendships more than before so you're more sensitive to feeling like an outsider.

Good luck to you and your family.

JanuaryGirl · 09-02-2009, 09:50 PM

I never lived in HP, but I worked in town for a long time. Gave me kind of a "fly on the wall" chance to observe people in the town and see how they interacted. The impression I got from most of the middle-aged-mother demographic was that, while plenty of them were nice, they were VERY involved in cliquey groups of friends that almost acted like they were still in high school. Many of the ladies were nice individually, but when they got together it was all gossip; I imagine it's difficult to break in to social circles like that.

Can you get involved with local charities? Play tennis, paddle, anything where you can meet people? There are plenty of snobs, but there are also plenty of good people. If you get involved in some activities and really put yourself "out there" so to speak and make it known that you want to make friends I'm sure you'll find some decent people!

Aquause · 09-02-2009, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JanuaryGirl

they were VERY involved in cliquey groups of friends that almost acted like they were still in high school. Many of the ladies were nice individually, but when they got together it was all gossip; I imagine it's difficult to

I grew up in HP, remember the Malveaux days? JAPs are the most obnoxious species of humanity ever. Totally racist. Diversity is not for them, that's for sure, despite taking a Democrat ballot every 4 years.

MKE-Ed · 09-03-2009, 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aquause

I grew up in HP, remember the Malveaux days? JAPs are the most obnoxious species of humanity ever. Totally racist. Diversity is not for them, that's for sure, despite taking a Democrat ballot every 4 years.

Its funny how a lot of them talk about diversity and then reject it in practice. These are the same people that vote very heavily for the Democrats every election. Total frauds!

wetcement · 09-03-2009, 10:34 PM

Sorry to jump on the HP bash, but I worked in in a cafe in downtown HP and currently have friends there and I think it's more cliquey than snobby. It is by far my least fav 'burb, despite its very cute downtown. Lake Forest, Kenilworth are snobby, HP is just rude.

Freebeer · 09-03-2009, 11:56 PM

I would never live in HP for the same reason that people from HP and Glencoe wouldn't live in Woodlawn or Little Village. I'm not a big fan of enclaves based on race. Highland Park is definitely racist, calling it cliquey is just a euphemism. It's an obvious example of segregation in Chicago, because that's what it stands for, that's exactly what it is. Cliquey, I love that. Great spin!!!!