So are they undesirables or are they just minorities you want to avoid? (Chicago: home, wedding)

[linicx]

I'd rather have a kind, caring neighbor of any make or model than one that is intolerant, impolite, snotty and generally disagreeable - even if he does keep his yard immaculate, his garbage bagged, and his septic tank perfumed.

[BRU67]

Originally Posted by linicx

I'd rather have a kind, caring neighbor of any make or model than one that is intolerant, impolite, snotty and generally disagreeable - even if he does keep his yard immaculate, his garbage bagged, and his septic tank perfumed.

Anyone would prefer that, but speaking for myself, I don't have to be best buddies with all my neighbors. Keep the yard immaculate, the garbage bagged and the septic tank perfumed and I couldn't care less about your personal shortcomings! As long as you're not doing things to lower my property value and ruin my quality of life, I can find another friend. I'll take the snotty guy over the gangbanger hang out any day.

[deechee]

Originally Posted by BRU67

Anyone would prefer that, but speaking for myself, I don't have to be best buddies with all my neighbors. Keep the yard immaculate, the garbage bagged and the septic tank perfumed and I couldn't care less about your personal shortcomings! As long as you're not doing things to lower my property value and ruin my quality of life, I can find another friend. I'll take the snotty guy over the gangbanger hang out any day.

*claps*

I wish there was a dancing emoticon. That's the kinda attitude I'd value. If we are friends, nice, if we aren't, that's fine, as long as you are not polluting the neighborhood.

[JustJulia]

Originally Posted by linicx

I'd rather have a kind, caring neighbor of any make or model than one that is intolerant, impolite, snotty and generally disagreeable - even if he does keep his yard immaculate, his garbage bagged, and his septic tank perfumed.

I hear you, but I'm having a hard time picturing a kind, caring neighbor who happens to have a junky yard and overflowing trash cans. I wouldn't mind an older couple who just couldn't keep up with the yardwork anymore, or a single person who was disabled or sick. We'd come over on the weekends and lend a hand, seriously. But people who trash their house or show general disrespect for the neighborhood by being loud or dealing drugs ... I don't see how they can be kind, caring neighbors.

[jb246]

I'm glad the discussion was civil and thank you

[cohdane]

I lived in Boston across the street from a run down 150 year old house with a messy yard. The family living there was African American. They were poor. The kids were nice and smart. The family quiet. On Sunday they dressed in traditional African outfits and went to church in a van. We thought they were poor and nice.

Turns out they were very poor. The house got auctioned off before anyone knew what was going on. Rumors were there had been no running water in the house. The house was torn down and an enormous new house was built on top of it.

A Somali family moved in. They had nine kids and a grandma. Again, the kids were nice. But dad paved under part of the front yard to make room for more cars. Nobody liked that. He also took it upon himself to cut off the top of a neighbor's tree because it protruded into his yard. Second strike. When it turned out he had zoning problems, the neighborhood agreed to overlook them if he took down the old rusty chain link fence that the previous family left up. He agreed but never followed through. Third strike.

By the end, we were civil to him, but didn't trust him as far as we could throw him.

The house was sold to a Haitian family. They had only a couple of kids, but a very large extended family. The older guys worked on cars in the front driveway. Their friends would speed up and down the street, sometimes heading the wrong direction against the "one way" sign. They would blow off the stop sign where the kids played. There were loud fights inside the house and outside the house. The police visited repeatedly, sometimes called by people in the house. The kids were never ready for school, so buses would lay on their horns at 7:30 in the morning. Graffiti appeared on the 200-year-old tree in front of the house. Then on their fence. They never cleaned any of it. The house began needed repairs-- they never happened. The police visits continued-- once the local paper reported a fugitive hiding in a dirty pile of laundry in the closet.

This is the family the neighbors wanted out. This is the family no one would speak to.

The original house and yard was the worst on the block. But the family was nice, so no one cared, other than thinking it was unfortunate. The house got better, the family got worse. Then people had a problem.

This was a diverse neighborhood, but primarily white. It's all about quality of life and property value. Quality of life comes first.

[JustJulia]

I see your point, cohdane. I'm not sure how that house got better over time--the rusted fence never left, part of a tree was lopped off, graffiti showed up, nothing was repaired--but I do agree that it is preferable to have quiet, pleasant neighbors to loud or dangerous ones. A house like the one you describe can ruin home life for everyone around.

[cohdane]

The "got better" part was that the old beat-up house was torn down and a new house built in its place. It wasn't a beautiful new house, but by most people's standards, was a lot better than the one that had been there.

[wetcement]

I'm going out on a limb here, and I'm nowhere near Warrenville, but every time I see a black person in my area I think "wow, what's it like to be one of 5 black people in this town?" You may wind up being the 'token black family' who will be asked to represent 'the black' point of view on current affairs. If you were my neighbor, I'd probably kill you with kindness to make you feel welcome, kind of a positive discrimination but different treatment than I'd offer a new white neighbor.
Chicago is a weird place. I have two bi-racial friends who say they never experienced discrimination in New York and didn't really believe that racial discrimination existed until they moved here. Chicago 'burbs and the city. My Jewish neighbor from upstate NY says he never experienced discrimination happens to live next to Neo-Nazis who won't allow their kids to play together. Of course these behaviors can happen anywhere. Just my 2 cents.

[Freebeer]

Originally Posted by wetcement

I have two bi-racial friends who say they never experienced discrimination in New York and didn't really believe that racial discrimination existed until they moved here. Chicago 'burbs and the city. My Jewish neighbor from upstate NY says he never experienced discrimination happens to live next to Neo-Nazis who won't allow their kids to play together. Of course these behaviors can happen anywhere. Just my 2 cents.

I totally disagree with that, and my experience is the opposite, totally. In NYC everything racial or ethnic is multiplied or amplified as compared to the Midwest. The Jewish people in NY are the most Jewish of anywhere outside of Israel. A non-Jewish person experiences much more discrimination in those NY communities, or cliques!, than they will in the Midwest or in Chicago, come on!!! NY'ers are hard core on all levels compared to Chicago or the Midwest.

I worked with this guy here in Chicago, who went to Bronx Science HS and he married an Irish girl, and his parents in NY called him the week before the wedding asking that he still call it off and marry a jewish girl. Now THAT is New York mentality. That's a true story, a real one.