Is bullying as rampant everywhere as in the north burbs?

[Markomalley]

Thanks everyone. I definitely feel better about it-and I will get him into martial arts classes as well, not only for the bullying aspect but it sounds like a great thing to learn-I hadn't thought of it before. I appreciate all the responses!

[gardener34]

Some children take to it, others do not. There are several types available, I would ask around for what other people in the area all take. Tae kwon do is popular, also the shotokan karate has a big club around here: iskc.org. there IS sparring (protected) at times. So some kids may like it, others not. There are also many girls taking it. (I wish my daughter would.)
Good luck - my son is also very small, but he is in middle school now and is growing up to be just a small "average" now. So you never know what they will turn out to be! If he is gets along with a lot of people, likely no one will bother to pick on him.
Also, you may want to make an extra effort to see what the other kids are wearing. that is the main thing that kids in middle school anyway - seem to care about. They do NOT want to be different. So find out what they are all wearing (shoes, t-shirts, sweatshirts, particular brands) and buy him those types of clothes. He may act like he doesn't care, but he really may.
In highschool they seem to get more individualistic. and this does not seem to be a huge issue (at least around here).
We live in a school district that serves a relatively affluent burb. they also take bullying very seriously here. So do I, since I was personally bullied in grade school (mean girls) and part of hs and have NO tolerance for it.

[chet everett]

Originally Posted by It'sAutomatic

Teach him to fight the first kid who messes with him, tell him you won't be mad if gets in trouble for it, and problem solved.

Get the Untouchables DVD out and cue up Sean Connery's speach:

"They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. *That's* the *Chicago* way!"

Oh maybe 'zero tolerance' would be an issue...

But seriously , in my experience as a parent and former teacher is that well adjusted kids are pretty much immune to any sort of bullying. Kids with problems tend to become bullys. Schools don't tolerate much of that. Parents get told inflated stories by manipulative poorly adjusted kids...

[prairiestate]

Too bad the south suburbs aren't an option. Then your son could just join a gang for protection.

[nanannie]

Originally Posted by chet everett

But seriously , in my experience as a parent and former teacher is that well adjusted kids are pretty much immune to any sort of bullying. Kids with problems tend to become bullys. Schools don't tolerate much of that. Parents get told inflated stories by manipulative poorly adjusted kids...

I will certainly agree here. My son is in middle school (Barrington,one of those "upscale areas") and the "zero tolerance" policy has teachers/counselors/parents very involved as are the bus drivers. They also have an annonymous website to go to for victims.
It has not been an issue for my son or his friends,but they all seem to be well adjusted kids with strong family involvement.

[j33]

Prairiestate - As someone who grew up in the south suburbs, I couldn't help but read these posts thinking 'if she thinks it is bad on the north shore, she better not consider sending her kids to school where I went.' I echo the opinion that Junior High is the worst for bullying, I was bullied a bit in Junior High and I'm not going to lie, it was pretty awful (however, I'm female, so the bullying took on my a psychological approach), the most important thing is to be there for you child, that I had supportive parents I could talk to helped me through that time.

By the time I got to High School, much of the bullying stopped for me because I kept to myself and a certain circle of friends most people ignored and found a bit of a place for myself in some after school activities. Being a white nerdy female in a mostly African American school helped a bit with flying 'under the radar', but my friends did not share my characteristics (especially some of the African American males who I was friends with who were more into art class than gym class) had it a bit rougher.

[Chicago60614]

There isn't more bullying up north in my opinion - it's all just relative.

The north shore schools are some of the best, and it's a much more safe/quieter area.

People complain about bullying because people naturally complain about something, and that's the best thing to complain about there. In bad areas there are 10 other more important things to worry about than normal bullying.

[JohnPF]

Yes, but somehow only certain areas get in the news with extreme cases of bullying or initiation type stories. I'm not even going to publicly id the problem, just google the topic and you'll have the answers.
And I agree with opinions above: get your kid an upper hand in self confidence by engaging him in martial arts, but more important be your kid's buddy, not just a parent.