Single Black women of Chicago- What's the dating scene like? (Humboldt: houses, community college)

[FlyiMetro]

Originally Posted by Peacelilies

-Do you find it easy to date in Chicago?
-Are the men forward? (my preference)
-Is interracial dating common?
-Can you recommend Chicago for another single black woman?
-And if so, are there particular areas you would recommend?

I currently live in Indy and dating here sucks big time. I have a lot of female friends who are educated, professional and very single -just like me. It's part of the reason why I want to leave and move to an area that has better odds.

Chicago is on the list of places I'm considering but I want to make sure that I don't end up in the same situation I am currently in.

I know this might seem like a weird question to be asking, but hey, I am beyond shame at this point. Dating is very important to me and I want to love (and be loved lol)

N.B. I would like this question to be answered primarily by black women since dating can sometimes be challenging for us (see the numerous articles that have been written about black women being the least married demographic in the United States) but if anyone has any good advice, I am all ears.

Why does dating suck in Indianapolis? What do you mean by forward men? Its interesting so many EDUCATED, PROFESSIONAL black women have such a hard time finding a man. Yet the regular black women never complain. Interesting.

[FlyiMetro]

Originally Posted by At1WithNature

It doesn't have anything to do with being black or single. All it has to do with is your status in life and how many kids you have. Where you live and how much you make or get is what its' about. If you have multiple kids and your single, I don't care if you are 19, 25, or 32...odds are that you are in trouble.

I am working on my 3rd degree at a liberal university right now. I am the only white person in a group of 21. It's all asians, hispanics, and african americans. Many latinas (humboldt park says whats up) have kids and are struggling but the overwhelming majority are black single females with multiple kids and job stopper tattoos looking for a better life. I give them props for doing the right thing and trying to improve themselves and theirs but the odds are totally stacked up against them. Black women need to stop laying down with str8 up busters and start having kids with men who will be a role model to their offspring.

It's like Lawrence Fishburne in Boyz in the Hood, any fool can make a baby but it takes a real man to raise that baby. Too bad it doesn't happen as often as it should in the black community. Why is that?

The men you speak of are considered boring, lame, corny & uninteresting. Most women want fun and/or something to talk to others about. Which opens the doors to the interesting dudes with issues. Even tres dad in boyz in the hood, was boring...he had wisdom, was a great dad..didnt support negativity yet in the movie he was single. Many good men out there, especially in Chicago, but it takes some digging & patience.

[stephei2000]

[quote=mas23;15938337]Yes and to answer the question I think this is why we see leww white men and black women relationships. Well, this is part of the reason and it seems like white guys generally perfer more petite women (hence the reason why their are more asian women & white men couples). I like women with some meat but not THAT much

I have to agree. I am a little bigger than I am used to be size 10/12. I used to be an 8. I am African American woman and hate the word thick. I feel that white men are more attracted to small petite women and this makes it harder for black women. It makes me feel more self conscious. However, I still exercise and try to control my eating. The only that saves me is that I am almost 6 ft and have big boobs! So I am proportioned

[FlyiMetro]

Originally Posted by urza216

And black women are perceived as the least feminine..

They call it being a STRONG black women....never realizing unattractive the word STRONG & Women is in the same breath.

[Dport7674]

In the black community there is a stereotype of white guys being dorky. 'Chicks dig bad boys' is more than just a saying. Black dudes carry themselves with more swagger.

Add that to the fact that white women who date black guys have more in common with them as far as music, lifestyle etc., It's no suprise you don't more see white guy, black girl couples...but if you could take away a stereotype or two from both sides, it'd be much more common.

[Dport7674]

Generally speaking I disagree that white guys prefer pettite women, I think it's just the fact that white women are more likely to be pettite. Google 'Men like curves' and you'll see all kinds of studies saying keep the curves. I fall into that category of men.

[noid_1985]

Originally Posted by Humboldt1

Why is it so much more common to see a black man with a white woman than a black woman with a white man?

There is interracial dating in Oak Park but it is mostly black men with white women, particularly the married couples.

Noid,

Why the discrepancy?

To be honest I think the black woman is more loyal to the black man than he his to her. A lot of black women tend to think that they can change or mold black men into the man that they want- which doesn't seem to work. That being said I know a few black women who have dated, married, or would date someone outside their ethnic background. It's beginning to be more common than one would think

[ParkerP]

Originally Posted by noid_1985

To be honest I think the black woman is more loyal to the black man than he his to her. A lot of black women tend to think that they can change or mold black men into the man that they want- which doesn't seem to work. That being said I know a few black women who have dated, married, or would date someone outside their ethnic background. It's beginning to be more common than one would think

I agree with the bolded parts. You wanna know why there is this perceived loyalty? Its because from the time we are born, we are brainwashed with how crucial it is to support black men and have black children and support the black community and have black pride and have black loyalty and support black business and have a strong black marriage and drive a black car with a black cat and keep everything black black bliggety-black. And the only reason a non-black man wants us is to fulfill some fantasy. We are fed this crap from family, community, and the church. So, when we grow up and find that our counterparts could give less than 2 flucks about about keeping it black, its like what the hell am I limiting myself for? Thus you have a lot more black women, even the ghetto ones, expanding their options and dating and actually marrying outside of the race now more than ever.

[Chicagoland60426]

giles33 said:

I "know" big is beautiful, but more often it appears that you don't exercise self control in your life.

Me: Big isn't beautiful, but thick(curves in the right places and small waist) is. I can tolerate a little stomach, but not a lot.

[outofmyelement]

Young white men of my generation prefer very slim women. I've had boyfriends who watched my favorite old fifties movies with me and commented on the "chubby girls" back then being presented as sex symbols. In my adult life I ONLY get attention from young (ie. under 40) white men when my BMI is under 22. In addition, 100% of the black girls I know who have dated white men have been very thin. It is what it is.