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I moved from Detroit to Chicago in 1998. I did not know a single person. I had a job waiting for me through an internal company transfer. I rented a rehabbed apartment in Lincoln Square sight unseen (a friend checked it out for me). Corporate movers moved me here and I never looked back. I bought a condo two years later, a house three years after that and it will soon be 15 years. Married with two kids.
I play softball so the first thing I did was join a league. I am still playing with some of those guys 15 years later. A friend of mine e-mailed me and a female friend of his. He said, "I know you two, you both live in Chicago and you should look each other up". We hung out a bit and the people she introduced me to lead to me meeting my wife. My wife and a friend of hers hooked up that friend with the guy she ended up marrying.
I would recommend moving alone to anybody and I would do it again without hesitation. The #1 thing I had going for me was I already had a job. Moving here and looking for work is a whole other story, but if you have a job here then come on over, Red Rover!
Several times in my life ... I've moved, alone, to someplace I'd not lived before nor did I have friends or family there. This takes an independent person who makes friends easily and who has self-confidence to overcome the doubts or perceived obstacles. For most people, it's probably not the thing to do. I've enjoyed all of those moves, even though I've been back in my 'hometown' Chicago for the past decade.
I moved to LA knowing not a soul and moved to Hawaii knowing (not well) one person. It was easy because I had a job lined up in each instance. Go for it!
I moved to LA alone. I felt lonely for a few months, but eventually found my groove. I had a bunch of different friends, but didn't find real good ones for a couple of years. I still keep in touch with a few friends (5-6 good ones) from LA after moving again 8 years ago. I started with some work friends, moved on to another group, started dating a girl, changed jobs, and moved 4 times in 5 years around LA. Thinking back, I wish there were meetup groups back when I moved, it would have helped to meet people. It really think it is easier to meet people now using the internet.
I wouldn't ever change that move to LA...I met my wife out there too.
I would recommend moving alone to anybody and I would do it again without hesitation. The #1 thing I had going for me was I already had a job. Moving here and looking for work is a whole other story, but if you have a job here then come on over, Red Rover!
I definitely will not make a move there unless the company is willing to send me. I will have enough to live comfortably on my own for sure. The only thing that worries me is not having enough time after work, especially during busy season, to do things like playing in a sports league, but that would be similar in any city most likely, its just the nature of the field I'm in for the first few years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gomexico
Several times in my life ... I've moved, alone, to someplace I'd not lived before nor did I have friends or family there. This takes an independent person who makes friends easily and who has self-confidence to overcome the doubts or perceived obstacles. For most people, it's probably not the thing to do. I've enjoyed all of those moves, even though I've been back in my 'hometown' Chicago for the past decade.
This is where I might struggle. I have no problem meeting new people, I have tons of acquaintances, but it takes me a while to really be comfortable with someone. I almost think I need to do this BECAUSE it will be hard and challenging.
Quote:
Originally Posted by almost3am
I moved to LA alone. I felt lonely for a few months, but eventually found my groove. I had a bunch of different friends, but didn't find real good ones for a couple of years. I still keep in touch with a few friends (5-6 good ones) from LA after moving again 8 years ago. I started with some work friends, moved on to another group, started dating a girl, changed jobs, and moved 4 times in 5 years around LA. Thinking back, I wish there were meetup groups back when I moved, it would have helped to meet people. It really think it is easier to meet people now using the internet.
I wouldn't ever change that move to LA...I met my wife out there too.
I am considering this move for the last reason you said particularly. There will be a much better dating scene in a city than in Florida, where there are basically mostly just families, old people, and college students.
Glad you were able to get in with one of the accounting firms. Busy season (I can confirm 100 hour weeks do happen) is January-March, and the time will FLY... i can't believe it is already march. The timing of busy season can't get much better as the weather is not great (especially for floridians). Make the move, we get a good amount of vacation and all of the firms are trying to push more flexibility (flexing Fridays, coming in later or leaving earlier etc...). You will have no problem finding time to get out and explore and enjoy yourself. Not to mention you will be starting with a bunch of people the same age as you, which will make it even easier to make friends.
Hey there! Given your current situation, I'm wondering if the below opportunity would be of interest to you. I am working at a startup looking to help awesome people in Chicago find each other, check it out!:
Don’t just meet people, make friends
Even though you are awesome, making new friends in a new city is difficult. Instead of going to another bar alone and pretending to be waiting for someone, come meet some people who are also looking to make friends.
We are a new startup looking to help all the awesome people who are new to Chicago find each other. This new social event will help you meet the people with whom you’re most likely to be friends, by creating a social structure to build sincere relationships with those people.
We are building an environment for meeting the right people and building real friendships. This social gathering will help match you with the right people, and thus inspire genuine friendships
How does it work?
● You commit to coming to 3 happy hours over 3 weeks (1 happy hour per week)
● Before the first happy hour you fill out a short 10 question survey that helps us get to know you a
little bit (http://goo.gl/FFhQLi)
● At the first happy hour we put you into small groups of 4 or 5, with all the group members curated
specifically for you, based on the survey results
● You grab your free drink and socialize with your group. We inspire better conversation with story
provoking questions and games
● You laugh, you cry, you grow, and when you finally decide to leave we have you fill out a quick
post event survey (3 questions) about the people you met
● We take the survey data and use it to match you up in a new group for the 2nd happy hour.
Some of the people in your new group may be from your first group, and some will be new
● We repeat the same process, free drinks, rich conversation, personal enlightenment, and a
second quick post event survey (3 questions)
● The result being that by the third happy hour you will have created a real social circle with the
people you connected with the best. You and these people will have had shared experiences with one another and have formed the basis of a real friendship
To build real relationships with someone you need to have a few shared experiences with them. By investing in 3 happy hours, you’re putting in the groundwork to make and build relationships. Plus it’s all free, so worst case scenario you come out, enjoy a free drink, and then go home and finish season 4 of Arrested Development.
I moved here by myself and I don't have any family here, so I kind of know what you'll feel like. I say kind of because I moved here for graduate school, and most of my cohort is in my shoes as they know no one, so it was a very easy support system.
I will say that, despite having them and they are really cool people, I still have the feeling of "my real friends are back home". I think it will always be like that, because of the experiences you share with those people that were built over time.
Chicago does have a massive amount of transplants. I tend to meet more people that aren't from here than are, but I will say this: you will have to actively seek out people to get to know and hang out with. You will definitely have to step out of your comfort zone--which is why moving away isn't all bad--you are forced to grow as a person. Your coworkers may or may not be in the same position as you, so be prepared to join Meetup, try online dating, go out to public places alone, etc., and meet people. I was shopping at Target last week and this guy approached me and just struck up a conversation (I'm also a guy), and it wasn't weird or anything. Despite Chicago being a big city, the people, for the most part, are extremely friendly and understanding of moving alone, as some have done it themselves.
With that said, don't think it will be easy. When I first moved here, there were plenty of nights and weekends I spent inside. But you have to grow. Walk around and admire the beauty of the city. Go to shows and bars and malls and talk to people who are also alone, despite their sex. Chances are, they are just like you.
Hey there! Given your current situation, I'm wondering if the below opportunity would be of interest to you. I am working at a startup looking to help awesome people in Chicago find each other, check it out!:
Don’t just meet people, make friends
Even though you are awesome, making new friends in a new city is difficult. Instead of going to another bar alone and pretending to be waiting for someone, come meet some people who are also looking to make friends.
We are a new startup looking to help all the awesome people who are new to Chicago find each other. This new social event will help you meet the people with whom you’re most likely to be friends, by creating a social structure to build sincere relationships with those people.
We are building an environment for meeting the right people and building real friendships. This social gathering will help match you with the right people, and thus inspire genuine friendships
How does it work?
● You commit to coming to 3 happy hours over 3 weeks (1 happy hour per week)
● Before the first happy hour you fill out a short 10 question survey that helps us get to know you a
little bit (http://goo.gl/FFhQLi)
● At the first happy hour we put you into small groups of 4 or 5, with all the group members curated
specifically for you, based on the survey results
● You grab your free drink and socialize with your group. We inspire better conversation with story
provoking questions and games
● You laugh, you cry, you grow, and when you finally decide to leave we have you fill out a quick
post event survey (3 questions) about the people you met
● We take the survey data and use it to match you up in a new group for the 2nd happy hour.
Some of the people in your new group may be from your first group, and some will be new
● We repeat the same process, free drinks, rich conversation, personal enlightenment, and a
second quick post event survey (3 questions)
● The result being that by the third happy hour you will have created a real social circle with the
people you connected with the best. You and these people will have had shared experiences with one another and have formed the basis of a real friendship
To build real relationships with someone you need to have a few shared experiences with them. By investing in 3 happy hours, you’re putting in the groundwork to make and build relationships. Plus it’s all free, so worst case scenario you come out, enjoy a free drink, and then go home and finish season 4 of Arrested Development.
^ That kind of echoes my experience in moving here. I have a new coworker who just moved from California here and has been using Meetup. I think he already has a group of friends he's found to hang out with, or some people to hang out with sometimes. I've been to a few meetup events and it's definitely a way to go to find friends with similar interests.
The thing that comes as a shock to most people is the college life versus a city. It is easy to meet people in college when you live in dorms and are in classes together. When you are working in a city, the closest thing you have to that are work friends. Sometimes you live near some cool people but that's definitely not a given. It's definitely a big animal and people who think that it's just as easy to do that moving to any city are in for a little surprise IMO.
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