The woes of dating in Chicago (Atlanta: 2013, credit score, university)

[urza216]

Originally Posted by Atlanta_BD

Because of what you said, a lot of men think they can be a 2 but feel entitled to a 10.


A had a guy friend who knew he wasn't conventionally good-looking (5'6", balding, out of shape, and not so great facial features) who said he wanted a gorgeous woman who loved him for him. Yet in the same breath he'd tell me I care too much about looks and that I shouldn't care about looks. Perhaps it was because he wanted to date me at one point but I just wasn't physically attracted to him. Still we became friends.

I asked him why it was ok for him to want someone good-looking but it wasn't ok for me. He said because women typically don't care about looks (and no, I'm not the fat chick looking for the hot, fit guy lol). I told him that's male fantasy that women don't care about looks.

You said he "wanted a gorgeous woman" and then you also said he wanted you. Why would I conclude you were a "fat chick"?

[marothisu]

Originally Posted by Atlanta_BD

I told him that's male fantasy that women don't care about looks.

Women care about looks (on average).. but it's less than men do.

[Atlanta_BD]

Originally Posted by urza216

You said he "wanted a gorgeous woman" and then you also said he wanted you. Why would I conclude you were a "fat chick"?

I didn't say you'd conclude that. I was just making a joke in reference to what someone else said earlier.

[Atlanta_BD]

Originally Posted by marothisu

Women care about looks (on average).. but it's less than men do.

Women care about looks more than you think or more than they are willing to admit. Women are often taught that we should be with men we don't really want or aren't attracted to as long as he's "nice." I know I get told that often because I'm not willing to date men I don't find physically appealing.

There's also the misnomer that a guy who isn't good-looking will be nicer than a hot guy. When I've tried to give chances to guys I wasn't attract to physically, they weren't any nicer (some even stalked or harassed me), weren't any more serious, and didn't treat me any better than the hot guys I've dated. So now I won't settle for what I want.

[marothisu]

Originally Posted by Atlanta_BD

Women care about looks more than you think or more than they are willing to admit. Women are often taught that we should be with men we don't really want or aren't attracted to as long as he's "nice." I know I get told that often because I'm not willing to date men I don't find physically appealing.

There's also the misnomer that a guy who isn't good-looking will be nicer than a hot guy. When I've tried to give chances to guys I wasn't attract to physically, they weren't any nicer (some even stalked or harassed me) and didn't treat me any better than the hot guys I've dated. So now I won't settle for what I want.

I agree that they aren't as willing to admit it, but guys place a ton on looks alone. While women do place emphasis on it, it's not at the same level as guys. I also think that women place emphasis on looks in other areas than guys do too sometimes (for example, how they dress. Many guys don't care too much about this, but pretty much every single one of my prior girlfriends and many of my women friends care very much about how a guy dresses).


And yes, there isn't always a correlation between what you look like and how nice you'll be, only sometimes (although my great aunt was very beautiful but a maaaaaaassive *****, haha. I actually used to cry whenever I *saw* her). I agree for the most part, but it definitely is true sometimes.

[Atlanta_BD]

Originally Posted by marothisu

I agree that they aren't as willing to admit it, but guys place a ton on looks alone. While women do place emphasis on it, it's not at the same level as guys. And yes, there isn't always a correlation between what you look like and how nice you'll be, only sometimes (although my great aunt was very beautiful but a maaaaaaassive *****, haha. I actually used to cry whenever I *saw* her). I agree for the most part, but it definitely is true sometimes.

I think I'm more like a guy when it comes to looks. I don't care if a guy makes a lot of money as long as he's hard working and responsible with what he has. To me a decent salary doesn't have to be six figures. But blue collar or white collar, if I don't find a guy attractive, then no dice lol. Some of my girlfriends are the same way. Maybe we are the exception.

[gerrythesnake]

Originally Posted by lycos679

That's because you live in Atlanta. Women start to outnumber men at age 25 in Georgia. The ratio in Atlanta is likely to be skewed even further because women tend to head to cities more than men. Then you have to take out the guys in prison, drug dealers, homosexuals, poor guys, short guys, and all the guys that you wouldn't find sexually appealing.

Georgia:

20-24
Men: 344,477
Women: 335,603

25-29
Men: 333,831
women: 340,104

American FactFinder - Results *

That's BS and women say that to themselves just to feel better. That's like saying the women in Chicago can't find a date because all the men are in gangs or because they are all in the hospital because they have all been shot. Women always point the finger at the guy like every woman in Chicago perfect with all of them having 800 credit scores, no kids out of wedlock, etc, etc, etc.

Like you said if you take away the guys in prison, drug dealers, homosexuals, poor guys, short guys, and all the guys that you wouldn't find sexually appealing then if we take away the lesbians, the poor women with kids by several men, overweight women, the women we just don't find attractive, the women who with too many tattoos, bad credit, the crazy women, etc it all balances out.

This is a national "problem" if you want to call it a problem. Men in general do not see any benefit to get married. We are still expected to work, pay at least 51% of all the bills, help her with her debt, etc and still have to beg for sex, a meal to eat, etc and if it doesn't work out we have the risk of being taken to the cleaners. Where is the benefit? Men are voting with their feet. If I still have to beg for sex and make my own meal I can do that myself in my own house. Nationally there are more single people than married people in the US. There will continue to be more single people than married people in the future no matter where you live. The only hope a woman has is to live in a small town/city with a large military base.

I love it though. Women have all the power generally until they reach 30 then the men have the power because at 30 we can date women that are 18 or 35. The age when most women have had all their fun and now they are ready to lockdown a guy is the time when most guys have better dating opinions because they have moved up in their company/traveled to a few countries, etc. Some people call it the ultimate payback to women from men.

This radio show guy here explains it here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDzyAZrkSqg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfiSD6F6wQo

Until the American culture is goes back to how it used to be back 50 years ago more people will date and get married. Until then the married rate will continue to decrease because men are boycotting marriage. Again, dont blame men, blame America!

[marothisu]

Originally Posted by Atlanta_BD

I think I'm more like a guy when it comes to looks. I don't care if a guy makes a lot of money as long as he's hard working and responsible with what he has. To me a decent salary doesn't have to be six figures. But blue collar or white collar, if I don't find a guy attractive, then no dice lol. Some of my girlfriends are the same way. Maybe we are the exception.

Well, most women go off of vibe in a way and I guess I'm the same way in the end, as a guy. I have to find them attractive, but if I don't feel good around them or have good chemistry, then nothing else matters to me at that point. If I'm going into a relationship, I want it to be fun and interesting, not sitting around while barely being able to have a good time or conversation with them. I dated this girl once that was the beautiful blonde (really was, not just a bunch of makeup) with fake boobs, but we didn't have great chemistry, so I dropped it. Most guys would call me crazy.

[Chicago South Sider]

Originally Posted by UrbanCheetah

Heck if y'all think we have it bad just thank God you don't live in NYC, LA, DC or Miami. It's much worse in those cities!

I disagree. I'm not sure about DC, but the women in New York, LA and Miami are better looking than Chicago women. They also have variety that Chicago can't match. Believe it or not, I found women in LA to be more friendly than the ones in Chicago.

[Isotope-C14]

Originally Posted by gerrythesnake

This is a national "problem" if you want to call it a problem. Men in general do not see any benefit to get married. We are still expected to work, pay at least 51% of all the bills, help her with her debt, etc and still have to beg for sex, a meal to eat, etc and if it doesn't work out we have the risk of being taken to the cleaners. Where is the benefit? Men are voting with their feet. If I still have to beg for sex and make my own meal I can do that myself in my own house. Nationally there are more single people than married people in the US. There will continue to be more single people than married people in the future no matter where you live. The only hope a woman has is to live in a small town/city with a large military base.

I love it though. Women have all the power generally until they reach 30 then the men have the power because at 30 we can date women that are 18 or 35. The age when most women have had all their fun and now they are ready to lockdown a guy is the time when most guys have better dating opinions because they have moved up in their company/traveled to a few countries, etc. Some people call it the ultimate payback to women from men.

I wish I could give more than one rep on this one.