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Old 10-21-2013, 06:00 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,985 times
Reputation: 18

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Am I wrong to go have Thanksgiving at with my family? DH says he can't get off of work. I'll be gone just 2 nights. DH HATES my family. We have not been home for Christmas or Easter in the last 8 years. He says that he will NEVER EVER be home for Christmas again, but I can do what I want. I told him that I want to spend ONE holiday a year with my family. I don't think this is unreasonable Well, I've got plane reservations. DH is moping around, and I know he'll continue to do so for the next 5 weeks... and most likely will do so for some time after.
The last three years we've had Thanksgiving at our house. Last year DH acted like a real jerk with some of his high and mighty comments to my family. When I confronted him about it after, he said "I was only kidding", but I know that he wasn't.
We've been married 25+ years now,and I truly believe he has been suffering from depression for years.
He also isolates himself from his only family (mother and sister).

I want to discuss this with him, but every time we do, it turns into an ugly fight. Please help!
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Old 10-21-2013, 06:09 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,985 times
Reputation: 18
To shed more light on my "saga".... when we first got married, DH told me that the holidays really didn't matter to him or his family - that they were no big deal. I guess I shouldn't have taken him so literally. Anyway, we cruise a great deal. So, the for past 8 years we've on cruises during Christmas and Easter break (I teach). This past summer, one of his good friends went on a cruise with us (which was to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary). His friend drives me absolutely crazy, but I put up with him because I love DH and he's DH's friend. When I've brought up to DH that I've shared more than one vacation with his friend in the picture, so I don't see why DH can't suck it up and spend one DAY a year with my family, his reply is "Fine. You don't have to do anything with FRIEND and I don't have to do anything with your family."
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Old 10-21-2013, 06:22 PM
 
28,453 posts, read 85,379,084 times
Reputation: 18729
You will probably get better answers in a part of the forum about relationships / family -- nothing specific to Chicago about this...
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Old 10-22-2013, 05:13 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
1,988 posts, read 2,223,348 times
Reputation: 1536
You signed up on the Chicago forum for relationship advice?
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Old 10-22-2013, 05:22 AM
 
Location: Chicago
4,688 posts, read 10,106,669 times
Reputation: 3207
Stay east of Western.
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Old 10-22-2013, 07:42 AM
 
14,798 posts, read 17,683,382 times
Reputation: 9251
Quote:
Originally Posted by jdiddy View Post
Stay east of Western.
Very good advice.
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Old 10-22-2013, 01:31 PM
 
622 posts, read 1,196,457 times
Reputation: 470
he's gotta suck it up. part of being a man is dealing with hard family situations because you love your wife.
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Old 10-22-2013, 02:27 PM
 
Location: Edgewater
86 posts, read 159,430 times
Reputation: 149
East Garfield Park ain't getting any better any time soon.
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Old 10-22-2013, 02:57 PM
 
2,918 posts, read 4,206,952 times
Reputation: 1527
The Cubs don't use a DH, and I can't think of any reason the Sox wouldn't give Dunn or Konerko the day off for Thanksgiving.
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Old 10-28-2013, 11:37 AM
 
4,152 posts, read 7,941,830 times
Reputation: 2727
To answer your question in a more serious tone.....(even though it prolly does not belong on this board) yes I think you should go. You have been married for a long time so evidently you find something good about DH and it seems like he does do things just not with your family and he does not like holidays. You do mention something about depression...make sure he is not suicidal (does not sound like it) you would not want to come back and find him dead. I had a cousin who was anti social and hardly ever went anywhere to do family things. He was pleasant enough when you did see him. His wife and children came to all the family events and left him home. He did suffer depression and some years ago shot himself dead in his garage.
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