Moving out of Orange County to Chicago for cultural reasons - Chicagoans, help? (Burbank: transplants, neighborhoods)
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Hi everyone,
I have lived here in Irvine, OC, CA for about a year now, I'm originally from Atlanta, GA and I've come to realize that I haven't made any friends here in CA ever since I moved here. I have a lot of relatives here but that doesn't count and I'm not even close with any of them. So basically it's been rather boring and quite lonely here in OC and I'm not happy with the SoCal culture in general. Sure the weather is nice, there are nice beaches and everything is so clean and shiny but that doesn't mean I'm happy here.
I really need to find a 'base' somewhere. I miss having friends and going to social gatherings where I would know a person or two.
Are Chicagoans easy to make friends with?
Should I go ahead with my decision to move?
Do you think I might feel less lonely being in a city like Chicago?
*(I'm 26, female, grad student/professional)
I would appreciate your insights.
Hi everyone,
I have lived here in Irvine, OC, CA for about a year now, I'm originally from Atlanta, GA and I've come to realize that I haven't made any friends here in CA ever since I moved here. I have a lot of relatives here but that doesn't count and I'm not even close with any of them. So basically it's been rather boring and quite lonely here in OC and I'm not happy with the SoCal culture in general. Sure the weather is nice, there are nice beaches and everything is so clean and shiny but that doesn't mean I'm happy here.
I really need to find a 'base' somewhere. I miss having friends and going to social gatherings where I would know a person or two.
Are Chicagoans easy to make friends with?
Should I go ahead with my decision to move?
Do you think I might feel less lonely being in a city like Chicago?
*(I'm 26, female, grad student/professional)
I would appreciate your insights.
Before you make a cross country move, perhaps you should do a self evaluation. The inability to make friends seems like a personal thing to me. I'm not being judgmental. Forgive me if I come off that way.
Hi everyone,
I have lived here in Irvine, OC, CA for about a year now, I'm originally from Atlanta, GA and I've come to realize that I haven't made any friends here in CA ever since I moved here. I have a lot of relatives here but that doesn't count and I'm not even close with any of them. So basically it's been rather boring and quite lonely here in OC and I'm not happy with the SoCal culture in general. Sure the weather is nice, there are nice beaches and everything is so clean and shiny but that doesn't mean I'm happy here.
I really need to find a 'base' somewhere. I miss having friends and going to social gatherings where I would know a person or two.
Are Chicagoans easy to make friends with?
Should I go ahead with my decision to move?
Do you think I might feel less lonely being in a city like Chicago?
*(I'm 26, female, grad student/professional)
I would appreciate your insights.
I'm a native of the South, too.
Hell, San Diego and Long Beach blow OC out of the water with regard to culture. It's no competition. And neither SD not LB are cultural meccas like L.A. and San Francisco are.
But I know what you mean about "SoCal culture in general." I live in OC and don't like the local culture here. Are there some nice people here? Sure. Have I made friends? I've actually found it a little easier, believe it or not, to make friends (with natives and transplants alike) here than in the S.F. Bay Area, where I lived for two years previously (although once you "break the ice" in SFBA, it isn't so bad). Maybe that's because birds of a feather flock together and the non-pretentious people of OC are looking to stay united as much as they can before they're priced out...
But that's enough about me and theories for now. I've started visiting different areas of SoCal to get a feel for the region; it's huge and has many different personalities, even if there is a veneer of materialism all over the place. I was in Santa Clarita (north of downtown L.A.) two weeks ago, and it is like a combination of Irvine, Santa Ana, and older parts of Lake Forest, but the vibe seemed much more relaxed and down to Earth. The Inland Empire has some interesting cities like Redlands and Riverside. Santa Monica is legendary. The redevelopment of downtown L.A. is really taking off and the city's current mayor, Garcetti, seems far more competent and intelligent than his predecessor, Villaraigosa. Pasadena is a beautiful city. But my favorite area I think is San Diego County; San Diego and smaller cities like Carlsbad, Encinitas, and Cardiff-by-the-Sea are pretty sweet.
There are also other areas in SoCal that are full of snooty and pretentious people like parts of OC can have. Solana Beach and La Jolla (near SD), Santa Monica (even though I like the place), the whole westside of L.A. Hollywood "scene" (WeHo, Beverly Hills, Westwood), Burbank, and Glendale come to mind. (Many disagree w/ me about Burbank, but the people just don't seem friendly up there).
So I guess my point is don't rule out SoCal yet. It's frankly easy to when we live in OC, but the region is a complicated smorgasbord that isn't as easy to define as, say, Seattle, D.C., Boston, Chicago, Nashville, or many other cities. However, your choice of Chicago is very nice (as long as you can brave the cold weather and not live on most of the south side), its suburbs are as nice or nicer (if not sleepier, however), and it is indeed a world-class city. Chicagoans do seem friendlier but more blunt than SoCal people in general, but I'm not sure about making friends since I've never lived there. But whatever you do, good luck!
Thanks for the prompt reply to my post! I was very happy to read your thorough insight. I'm also happy that a fellow Southerner finds it easy to make friends here! Cheers to you.
Unfortunately, I've met some of the most hostile ethnic groups here and even though I am mixed myself, I was pretty much rejected, though indirectly, by the ethnic group that I should easily blend in. I think because I was perceived as way too free-spirited and also NOT from here and therefore unfamiliar with the way of things! One thing that I've come to realize is that pigeonholing and stereotyping people comes across as very natural here. People are perceived and easily judged by the groups they "belong" in, not as individuals. Everyone does this, even the "ethnic groups" themselves. I used quotations because apparently there is a default race and everyone else is an outsider. Heck, not even Southerners are this judgmental! I love living in a diverse environment, but not where people look down on other races. I haven't quite figured out which one is better because they all hate each other! People from my so-called "ethnic group" will shun me if I go out with a white dude because they consider it a disgrace, and the white dude's circle of friends think he is "so totally rad" for dating an "exotic" chick! I absolutely hate the discriminating attitude. I don't blend in any one particular group, and that's what I am supposed to do here. And I have failed. And that's why I think I should move.
You sound very nice though. You might as well be one of the nicest people I sort of talked to here in CA!
Thanks again for your reply
Hi everyone,
I have lived here in Irvine, OC, CA for about a year now, I'm originally from Atlanta, GA and I've come to realize that I haven't made any friends here in CA ever since I moved here. I have a lot of relatives here but that doesn't count and I'm not even close with any of them. So basically it's been rather boring and quite lonely here in OC and I'm not happy with the SoCal culture in general. Sure the weather is nice, there are nice beaches and everything is so clean and shiny but that doesn't mean I'm happy here.
I really need to find a 'base' somewhere. I miss having friends and going to social gatherings where I would know a person or two.
Are Chicagoans easy to make friends with?
Should I go ahead with my decision to move?
Do you think I might feel less lonely being in a city like Chicago?
*(I'm 26, female, grad student/professional)
I would appreciate your insights.
I'm intrigued by Chicago as well and am contemplating a move like you. But before you make the move, I wanted to point out that your description of your social situation and surroundings in SoCal may reflect less about Southern California and more about your immediate city, Irvine, and to a certain extent, affluent areas of Orange County.
If you are finding it hard to make connections, I am not surprised. If I recall correctly, Irvine is a master-planned bedroom community deliberately designed with no center, no downtown, no central civic gathering spot. This alone speaks volumes. And unless you're walking to your village's shopping center, pool house, etc., you pretty much have to drive everywhere. And when you drive, you're typically going 55 miles an hour through the city's thoroughfares. In other words, you're pretty isolated in your car, in your home. Irvine is known for this kind of setup. So people who gravitate there, by and large, probably seek this kind of arrangement. So again, you're isolated because you live in an area that attracts people who value this kind of isolating, planned development.
What are you looking for? What kind of people do you want to meet and make friends with? How would you describe your ideal weekend? These kinds of questions may help you figure out what SoCal community better suits you. Southern California is a gigantic place with more communities than you can shake a stick at -- and believe me, Irvine is not a good representation of the region. It's quite possible that the neighborhoods and people you seek are in Southern California -- just not in Irvine or the affluent parts of Orange County.
No matter where you land, best of luck in finding what you seek.
Thanks for the prompt reply to my post! I was very happy to read your thorough insight. I'm also happy that a fellow Southerner finds it easy to make friends here! Cheers to you.
Unfortunately, I've met some of the most hostile ethnic groups here and even though I am mixed myself, I was pretty much rejected, though indirectly, by the ethnic group that I should easily blend in. I think because I was perceived as way too free-spirited and also NOT from here and therefore unfamiliar with the way of things! One thing that I've come to realize is that pigeonholing and stereotyping people comes across as very natural here. People are perceived and easily judged by the groups they "belong" in, not as individuals. Everyone does this, even the "ethnic groups" themselves. I used quotations because apparently there is a default race and everyone else is an outsider. Heck, not even Southerners are this judgmental! I love living in a diverse environment, but not where people look down on other races. I haven't quite figured out which one is better because they all hate each other! People from my so-called "ethnic group" will shun me if I go out with a white dude because they consider it a disgrace, and the white dude's circle of friends think he is "so totally rad" for dating an "exotic" chick! I absolutely hate the discriminating attitude. I don't blend in any one particular group, and that's what I am supposed to do here. And I have failed. And that's why I think I should move.
You sound very nice though. You might as well be one of the nicest people I sort of talked to here in CA!
Thanks again for your reply
I know you're addressing EclecticEars, but I just wanted to say, I hear ya about the judging in Irvine! LOL Lord, do I hear you. I can honestly tell you it's a function of Irvine. Irvine is known for being snobby, and amongst certain ethnicities, you will see this snobbiness amplified big time. Quite a few people, though not all, who move to Irvine seek the exclusivity of it all and act as they are somehow above the masses and have finally found a place where they can move amongst their own "kind." By "kind," I mean wealthy, white collar, fluent in the same social signifiers, and of their own ethnicity -- just sharing the same ethnic background isn't enough. So of course, they're going to be snobby. And if you act just a bit different, carry the wrong purse, went to the wrong college, etc., well, you're in for a lonely time.
Most of Southern California is not like that. Irvine is not normal! Good luck whatever you decide to do.
Hi, I see your thread was moved from the Chicago forum, but I can give a littttllleeee insight.
I currently live in Chicago. I moved here from the east coast a few months back for graduate school, not knowing anyone or having any family in the city. Overall, my experience has been pleasant. People in Chicago seem to be really friendly. You will have random people strike up a conversation with you on the bus or subway, and you don't come across the pretentiousness very much (though you will in certain parts of the city).
I will say that Chicago has continually been listed as the most segregated city in America. Although the percentages make it look like a melting pot, the geography of the city is very segregated. For the most part, black people live south, white people live north, hispanic people live west, and asian people are kind of spread out about. I noticed you mentioned your ethnic group, so I figured I'd bring that up. But I'm a black male and I haven't found it hard to make friends at all, of all races.
But as someone earlier said, it definitely depends on the type of person you are. If you are uncomfortable making new friends or if you have this preconceived notion that everyone is out to get you, a move anywhere may not work. If not, then I say visit Chicago for a weekend and take a look around!
My gut feeling is that if someone is biracial, then California might be the BEST option, as far as a state to live in is concerned, but I could be wrong about one individual's circumstances..
I have no doubt that Chicago might have some of the answers, but by no means is it the ONLY place that you could find your Valhala. If you've only lived in the OC for one year, that might not be enough time to make a proper judgement. It does take time to make friends, after all..
Chicago is much more dense, and you will cross paths with people in your neighborhood frequently. esp at the outside cafes, which are everywhere. Lots of fun street festivals, its the perfect place for a person of your age.
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