Is Chicago truly friendly?? (Lincoln, Avon: unemployment, university, costs)

[Tex?Il?]

Originally Posted by marothisu

Probably not, but you never know who is riding the train with you. I have a friend who used to be a director at a well known public company for over a decade and is probably worth over $10 Mil and rides the train everywhere here. I have a family member that doesn't live here, but is probably worth closer to $50 Mil and rides the train and walks everywhere whenever he visits Chicago. Never has a car - only takes cabs when he really needs to. Some people actually like human interaction even on a train, believe it or not.

Yeah, but seriously how many people are taking the train because they like human interaction? This whole thread seems heavily based on observations of people seeing people on the trains.

Although maybe we're getting down to the crux of the matter. Maybe Chicago just "seems" unfriendly compared to other more auto-oriented cities, because on public transit, you see peoples' scowling, grimacing faces, whereas on a freeway, people can hide their bad mood behind their windows, and put on the smiling face when they get out of their cars.

While I think public transit is an essential public good that needs to be expanded, I do prefer to be alone in my car when I'm grumpy, and save the public transit when I'm not in a rush and am going somewhere fun. But then again, maybe thats why I prefer LA to Chicago.

[Lookout Kid]

I'm still not sure what the point of this line of conversation is. If you go to a bar in a smaller city like Cleveland or Detroit, the great majority of the people you meet there will have grown up within an hour's drive of that particular bar. I don't think it's disputed that New York is more cosmopolitan than Chicago, but there are even certain areas in New York where the great majority of people are from the northeast, and perhaps a majority from three states: NY, NJ, and CT.

This crazy notiion that white college-educated people from the midwest are an unfriendly bunch is just beyond ridiculous.

[Lookout Kid]

Originally Posted by Standard111

This part is definitely true. Black neighborhoods are invariably more friendly than white neighborhoods, nationwide. Blacks in Chicago are still a bit country, and roots in the South (esp. Delta region), and people make eye contact, smile, and "Good Morning" to your neighbors.

If you pulled that crap in Lincoln Park your neighbors would probably call 911.

I think you're confusing an outward, extroverted friendliness with genuine friendliness, and by explicitly assigning this to race you are being quite racist. There are clearly some cultural differences between typical Chicago black and white neighborhoods, and the social norms of how strangers are addressed in public. But to say that people in white, middle-to-upper class neighborhoods are somehow meaner people is simply not true in any way.

[Standard111]

Originally Posted by Lookout Kid

This crazy notiion that white college-educated people from the midwest are an unfriendly bunch is just beyond ridiculous.

I think they're more standoffish than in other parts of the country. Certainly more so than in the South, which is overtly friendly, and the Northeast, which is in-your-face.

There's a coldness to places like Lincoln Park, IMO. You see it when you open doors for someone, or glance at someone. They reflexively avert their gaze, usually (I'm talking men and women).

[Tex?Il?]

Originally Posted by Frank the Tank

Yeah, that's my impression. I don't personally think "laid back" automatically equals "friendly", but know that a lot of people might think that way at a superficial level.

On that front, Chicago certainly isn't a laid back city. This is a pretty nose-to-the-grindstone-type of place with a "Work hard, play hard" attitude. Obviously, this is just a mass generalization (as you'll find every type of person in a metro area of 9 million people), but our overall culture is going to feel fast paced compared to virtually every other city in the country outside of the Boston/NYC/DC corridor (and for many people, a slower pace is inherently perceived to be more "friendly", although I'd personally disagree).

While I agree that "laid back" isn't necessarily synonymous with "friendly", I don't see anything "superficial" about the presumed association.

If you google the definition of laid back, here are the synonyms:

laid-back

adjectiveinformal

relaxed and easygoing.

"a shaggy dog with an engaging, laid-back temperament"
synonyms: relaxed, easygoing, free and easy, casual, nonchalant, unexcitable, imperturbable, unruffled, blasé, cool, equable, even-tempered, nonconfrontational, low-maintenance, insouciant, calm, unperturbed, unflustered, unflappable, unworried, unconcerned, unbothered; leisurely, unhurried, Type-B; stoical, phlegmatic, tolerant

"you must try to be more laid-back"

The opposite of many of these (especially non-confrontational) is hostile. Being "perturbed", etc. is equivalent to possibly even violent.

These synonyms listed are actually necessary for a better functioning world. There's nothing superficial about these.

[mjtinmemphis]

Originally Posted by Tex?Il?

While I agree that "laid back" isn't necessarily synonymous with "friendly", I don't see anything "superficial" about the presumed association.

If you google the definition of laid back, here are the synonyms:

laid-back

adjectiveinformal

relaxed and easygoing.

"a shaggy dog with an engaging, laid-back temperament"
synonyms: relaxed, easygoing, free and easy, casual, nonchalant, unexcitable, imperturbable, unruffled, blasé, cool, equable, even-tempered, nonconfrontational, low-maintenance, insouciant, calm, unperturbed, unflustered, unflappable, unworried, unconcerned, unbothered; leisurely, unhurried, Type-B; stoical, phlegmatic, tolerant

"you must try to be more laid-back"

The opposite of many of these (especially non-confrontational) is hostile. Being "perturbed", etc. is equivalent to possibly even violent.

These synonyms listed are actually necessary for a better functioning world. There's nothing superficial about these.

I agree.

I think I have become more laid back since leaving Chicago. It's like osmosis. You adapt to your environment.

I like to get things done when it's time to get them done. I give straight talk and expect the same in return. (That was a problem in the south) there again not everyone deserves my energy. I don't like the chip on the shoulder bad boy on the block I'm gonna beat you up types. That's not civil.

[probablyimnotsure]

Originally Posted by mjtinmemphis

I agree.

I think I have become more laid back since leaving Chicago. It's like osmosis. You adapt to your environment.

I like to get things done when it's time to get them done. I give straight talk and expect the same in return. (That was a problem in the south) there again not everyone deserves my energy. I don't like the chip on the shoulder bad boy on the block I'm gonna beat you up types. That's not civil.

If you are still like that passed your mid-twenties, its sad. These types of people usually don't amount to much in society because they have not matured. They are not perceived as "intelligent" or "respectful" by much of society.

[mjtinmemphis]

Originally Posted by probablyimnotsure

If you are still like that passed your mid-twenties, its sad. These types of people usually don't amount to much in society because they have not matured. They are not perceived as "intelligent" or "respectful" by much of society.

I was standing outside a restaurant with a (white) friend while he smoked a cigarette and another white guy walked past him and asked for a cigarette he said no and he wasn't in the business selling cigarettes, the guy called him white trash and that he was a b. I'm glad my friend took the high road because that could have gotten ugly.

That wasn't civil. That wasn't very smart. You can use the excuse that the guy was drunk but drunken frat boy syndrome doesn't give you an excuse for stupidity.

[marothisu]

Originally Posted by mjtinmemphis

I was standing outside a restaurant with a (white) friend while he smoked a cigarette and another white guy walked past him and asked for a cigarette he said no and he wasn't in the business selling cigarettes, the guy called him white trash and that he was a b. I'm glad my friend took the high road because that could have gotten ugly.

That wasn't civil. That wasn't very smart. You can use the excuse that the guy was drunk but drunken frat boy syndrome doesn't give you an excuse for stupidity.

That's dumb - people get edgy when they drink and smoke. I have a friend who denies everyone who asks him for a cigarette LOL but nobody's ever gotten angry at him. Guess he's lucky?

[jwaiter]

I was walking up the street smoking and some guy asked for a cig, I said no, and he didn't want to take no for an answer, I said they're $10 a pack, and then he starts telling me where to get them for $8 a pack, as if the $2 difference is the issue, I wish now I had replied, if they're so cheap go buy your own pack! I hate when people insist you give them a cig, this guy was getting very angry about it like I was obliged to give him one. My standard response now is "This was my last one"